This was written merely for fun. This isn't being used for personal profit in any way. It is because of the immense amount of respect for ER's writers' talent and ideas that this was written, basically, as a tribute to the characters of ER. No profit is being made at all.


***let's just say that it's basically Sharp Relief, but, we'll put a spin on things. Doug hasn't been spending nights with Carol lately, cause he's been pulling double shifts and working nights, too, whereas Carol gets the days. Doug wants to get the extra money, for the ring, and for the actual wedding…

***Basically, there was such a long intermission between the two time periods in which I wrote this story, that I got bored when I tried to finish up this story. I also, conveniently, forgot the whole gist of my idea for this story. So, here I've just tried to wrap up the story before I deleted the whole file in sheer frustration. You have been warned; this story may very well be the worst yet!

Sharp Relief Continued (for lack of a better title)

"Carol, what happened to you? I've been waiting for hours for you, worrying. You look so pale, what's wrong?" Doug went over to Carol, who had just closed the door, and hugged her cold, inert body. "You're freezing…where have you been?"
His questions remained unanswered by her. So instead of forcing her to answer, Doug worriedly hugged her, grateful that she had come home.
Carol was overcome with guilt. She couldn't bring herself to hug Doug back, but instead, sadly pulled away from him. He looked at her, puzzled, and said nothing.
"I…..Doug, I…I kissed another man," Carol finally blurted out.
Doug was shocked. He stood there, his head lowered, frozen. Carol had kissed another man? Why? What had he done wrong? He was speechless, and felt betrayed. He didn't deserve this treatment from Carol.
"He was a paramedic," Carol said, interrupting Doug's thoughts, "and we were waiting for the victim's cat to come to the roof. Its owner attempted suicide, and we didn't want the cat to be locked outside in the cold, so--"
"So you left me waiting in the cold for you, right?" Doug said harshly.
Carol was struggling to fight back the tears. "No, I…no, of course not. I mean, I'm sorry, Doug. We were just talking while waiting for the cat, and then Greg just kissed me, I didn't--"
Doug was mad now. "Greg? So I suppose you talked a long time and got to know each other so well that you're on a first name basis now? What am I talking about? Hell, you even made out with the guy. I guess we don't have to remember Doug freezing his ass off at Dearborne and Clarke, do we now? No, cause we've got Greg, right? And Greg is younger and more handsome than Doug. Oh, I'm sorry, Carol. You were probably thinking, 'Doug who?'" Doug stopped yelling, and was breathing deeply. He calmed himself, and only then did he realize how harsh his words had been, and how he hadn't meant to speak so brusquely to Carol. He immediately regretted it.
Carol was hurt by Doug's words, and she felt the need to let him know that it hadn't really been her fault. She looked at Doug, who was visibly angry. "Accusing me of making out with someone, Doug?" Carol said, just as loud as Doug had spoken, "I'm not the one who's been spending every night doing god-knows-what, with god-knows-who, god-knows-where!! You haven't spent more than two nights in a row with me, do you realize that? You haven't even given me a reason! Not that I asked, but wouldn't you have the decency to just tell me without being prompted? Or do you not care for what I feel, at all? Actually, it all makes sense now. You don't want me to know what you're doing at night, do you? Oh hell, why am I fooling myself? You could even be sleeping with someone else during the night, and kissing me during the day for all I'd know! 'That naïve Carol; I've cheated on her before, and I can do it again. No problem.'" Carol regretted her whole speech as soon as she finished it. It was too blunt, and she didn't even completely feel that way, anyway. True, she was disappointed that Doug didn't tell her what was going on, but never once did she think that he was cheating on her. Carol looked at Doug, watching for his response.
Instead of looking angry, Doug immediately reacted to Carol's bitter words, and his expression totally softened. He suddenly looked extremely hurt, and said softly, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, and for what I said, Carol. I didn't mean a single word of it." He turned around and took his coat from the couch. Then he said even more quietly, "I've been working double night shifts so I could…well, I had the sudden urge to marry you, and I just worked my ass off to get the money, for the ring, for the wedding, for everything. I was going to propose tonight, but I know what your answer would've been, so…I'll leave now, Carol." Doug turned and headed to the door, his heart hurting more with each step he took away from Carol.
Shocked by hearing the truth from Doug, and ashamed for what she had done--letting the paramedic kiss her, missing her meeting with Doug, and yelling at and accusing Doug--Carol called out, "Doug---" But all she could do was watch the door close behind him.
When the room fell silent after the door closed, Carol collapsed on the couch. She discovered the ring in a velvet box, on the coffee table, and the tears flooded.
As he drove away from the house he had been prepared to call 'home', Doug replayed the whole conversation in his mind. He felt his eyes water, but told himself he couldn't---wouldn't---cry. He was in agony. Carol had accused him of cheating on her. His Carol had accused him of the one thing he never wanted her to be able to accuse him of. He had changed himself so that she would never think he was cheating on her. But obviously, he had failed. Carol's words stabbed continually at his heart, not letting him recover. She didn't trust him. Moreover, she probably never loved him. At least not as much as Doug loved her. Doug swallowed; his throat hurt from the yelling, but what hurt more intensely was his heart. He wished he hadn't yelled at Carol like he did. But then again, if he hadn't pissed her off, he would probably never have found out how Carol really felt about him, and he'd probably continue burdening her with suspicion. Maybe it's better this way. Doug turned into the hospital parking lot, and stopped the Jeep. He made his way into the ER, and Carter asked him, "Back again? How was the thing with Carol?"
Doug sighed and said, "We've put that idea on the backseat for now. Any kids?"
"Yeah. Exam 2, stomach pains. Curtain 1, animal bite," Carter said, handing the charts to Doug.
Doug took them, and said, "Thanks, Carter." Then he headed to exam 2, carelessly clipping on his hospital ID. Doug fully intended on working, so that he could forget the pain inside. Cause he knew that it wouldn't be so easy. He couldn't think about Carol. That would depress him even more. He mustn't think of Carol.
Doug sadly pushed through the door, took a pen out of his pocket, and momentarily thought, I'm sorry, Carol…
~~~
Carol lay on her stomach on the bed, cheeks tear-stained and eyes teary. The bed which she and Doug had shared for about nine months together. The bed in which Doug had held Carol when she was sad. The bed in which they had shared many moments of passion which Carol kept dear to her heart. She turned her head slightly and looked at the framed picture on the nightstand. She and Doug were together, smiling ear to ear. They were standing outside at night, arms around each other. Carol remembered that night, when Doug had taken her out for a night out in Chicago. They had asked someone to help them take a picture, and when he did, Doug and Carol had proceeded to a movie theatre for their third movie that night.
Carol closed her eyes and turned her head away from the photo. She thought about how awful she had been to Doug, and started crying again. "I'm sorry, Doug…" she mumbled despairingly into the pillow. She sniffled heavily, and discovered that it was Doug's pillow, strongly scented with his smell. Carol's heart broke, and her body ached as she struggled to stop crying. She fingered the engagement ring carefully, and thought, I want to marry Doug…
~~~
"Dr. Ross? He's in exam 2, I think. Couldn't stay away, Carol?" Randi said, with a grin. She was in a better mood tonight.
Carol gave a small smile. "I guess you could say that. Exam 2? Thanks." She walked over to the small room, and in her mind, practiced, for the millionth time, what she would say to Doug.
But when she pushed the door open to the empty exam room, Doug turned around and stared sadly at her. Carol immediately forgot everything she was going to say. She just gazed at Doug, speechless.
Doug emotionlessly said, "You're not on 'til tomorrow morning." He was sullen as he searched the cupboards.
Carol took a few steps towards him. She didn't know what to say. "I…I found the ring on the table, Doug. Do you….do you want to keep it?" Doug didn't answer. "I would be glad to…to wear it….I want to marry you…" Carol nervously awaited his response.
He stopped looking through the cupboards, and held on to the double doors with his hands. "You can keep it. It doesn't matter anymore," he said, lowering his head slowly and closing the doors, "because I won't need it." Doug turned away from Carol and said, "I've got to get back to work now." Then he took several steps away from her.
Not wanting Doug to leave, Carol called out, "Doug--" When he turned around and looked at her--trying hard to look passive, but only succeeding in looking even more sad--she went over to him and leaned in to kiss him softly.
Doug let Carol kiss him, but he didn't respond to it much. He couldn't; he was too hurt. Carol's lips had been on another man's just hours before. Doug's pain intensified.
"Doug, when you're done working, please come home. I'll wait for you." She tentatively placed a palm on his cheek and said, "I love you, Doug." Then she left.
Doug watched her through the window, and said, "I love you, too…"
~~~
Later, in the middle of the night, Doug decided to finally sign out. He drove around in the heavy rain looking for a florist that was open, so he could buy Carol a bunch of roses. He persisted for an hour, until he saw a small plaza that is still open. Doug bought a small bunch of pink roses, and then started the Jeep on his way to Carol's house.
When he arrived half an hour later, he stepped up the porch and discovered that he didn't have the key. Doug realized that he must have left the house key on the counter in the kitchen when he left in a hurry earlier. Sighing, Doug rang the doorbell and waited. No answer. He rang again, this time more urgently. There was still no answer. Was something wrong with Carol? Was she hurt? The lights seemed to be all off. Doug was worried. He tried calling Carol's phone. No answer. Doug gave up. Maybe Carol wasn't even at home. Maybe she was somewhere else. With that paramedic. Doug knew he shouldn't be thinking like this, but he couldn't help it. He just hoped that Carol was safe and sound at this hour of the night. In resignation, Doug left the roses on the porch, dropping his hospital ID by accident, and returned to his car.
God, I don't care if she's with another guy…I just want to her to be safe…
~~~
In the morning, Carol woke up and groggily looked around the living room. "Doug?" she said, rubbing her eyes and fully expecting Doug to show up. When he didn't show up, Carol sat up sluggishly and said again, this time louder, "Doug?" Doug still didn't come. The television was on at medium volume, streaks of sunlight peeking in through the cracks between the curtains and shining on Carol's face. So she had fallen asleep last night while waiting for Doug to come home, lulled to sleep by the television. "But you never came?" she whispered, uncertain, and unwilling to accept the possibility that Doug hadn't come.
Running a hand through her dark curls, Carol got up from the couch and stretched. Then she headed to the counter and her heart sank. He left his keys here yesterday.
Feeling dreadful as she opened the front door to retrieve the newspaper, Carol was greeted by a charming little bunch of pink roses, her favourite. Only one person had ever known give her this colour. Everyone else had gotten her red roses, carnations, violets. "Doug…" she said, when she picked up the roses and found his hospital ID. "Oh God, you did come, Doug, you came…but I was so stupid, I fell asleep, didn't open the door, didn't wait for you…"
As her tears slid down her cheeks, Carol, guilty and ashamed, sat on the doorstep and wept. What did Doug think of her, now?
~~~
Meanwhile, sitting at home in his dark apartment, Doug rested his chin in his hands and agonized. He painfully replayed everything that had happened to Carol and him in the past day. In 24 hours, they had gone from a 'happy' couple to a broken couple. Doug replayed several moments in his mind.
"Carol, I love you with all my heart and soul, and you've become the part of me that I can't live without. I would be so honoured if you'd marry me…" Doug paused for a second, looking around at the corner of Dearborne and Clarke. It was getting late, and still Carol had not arrived. He worried about her. Doug looked at his watch. She was already half an hour late. "Where are you, Carol?"

"I…..Doug, I…I kissed another man," Carol said. Doug winced. Was he hearing things? Did she just tell him that she kissed someone else? Doug was hurt, but also mad…

"Greg? So I suppose you talked a long time and got to know each other so well that you're on a first name basis now? What am I talking about? Hell, you even made out with the guy. I guess we don't have to remember Doug freezing his ass off at Dearborne and Clarke, do we now? No, cause we've got Greg, right? And Greg is younger and more handsome than Doug. Oh, I'm sorry, Carol. You were probably thinking, 'Doug who?'" Doug yelled…

"Accusing me of making out with someone, Doug?" Carol said, just as loud as Doug had spoken, "I'm not the one who's been spending every night doing god-knows-what, with god-knows-who, god-knows-where!! You haven't spent more than two nights in a row with me, do you realize that? You haven't even given me a reason! Not that I asked, but wouldn't you have the decency to just tell me without being prompted? Or do you not care for what I feel, at all? Actually, it all makes sense now. You don't want me to know what you're doing at night, do you? Oh hell, why am I fooling myself? You could even be sleeping with someone else during the night, and kissing me during the day for all I'd know! 'That naïve Carol; I've cheated on her before, and I can do it again. No problem.'"

When he closed the door behind him, Doug struggled to keep his pain inside. As he walked to his car, Doug said, devastated, "Why, Carol? What did I do wrong this time?"

Carol kissed him gently, but Doug couldn't kiss her back. He was wounded. All he did was let Carol kiss him as he stood there. Then she said, "Doug, when you're done working, please come home. I'll wait for you." She placed a palm on his cheek and said, "I love you, Doug." Then she left.

Why wouldn't she be at home? Where would she be at this time of the night? She never went out this late if it wasn't to go to work… Doug sank into his pillow, one he hadn't used for months because he hadn't slept at home--or with Carol, for that matter, since he started working OT. Hopefully, whomever she was with, Carol was safe, and happy. That's all Doug wished for. He sighed into the pillow and knew that his heartache would prevent him from getting any rest that night. Doug also wondered what she'd say to the roses on her porch…

Doug's flashbacks ended. It was then that he realized one crucial thing.
"Carol hasn't even apologized yet."
He began to think that maybe all this really was his fault.
~~~
"Damn." Why did there have to be a traffic jam, now? He would definitely be late for work now. Why did he bother getting up early, then? Doug's mind wandered until he thought of Carol. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and said to himself, "Give it up, she's gonna leave you." In frustration, Doug hammered the horn, causing it to sound out sharply. Another horn sounded back in response, and Doug slumped back into his seat, knowing that it'd be a long morning before he'd make it to work.
Closing his eyes momentarily, knowing that it would pose no danger, Doug thought, Everything's going wrong, and it's my fault…
~~~
Carol glanced at the doors again, the millionth time in the last 45 minutes. Where was Doug? He was almost an hour late for his shift, and he was never late. She was worried. Doug hadn't been able to get in the house last night, so what if something happened to him? She had tried calling him this morning, but no one answered. Please let him be safe…
"Doug, what time do you have?" Kerry's nasal voice brought Carol back to attention. Carol turned around and saw Doug facing Kerry.
He was quiet. "Uh, I've uh, got 8:50…" He studied his feet.
"And your shift started at 8. Now, you've consistently been early, but the one day you decide to risk it and be late, you make it by an outrageous 50 minutes. I have no idea what's possessed you, Dr. Ross, but this behaviour is unacceptable of a professional. I expect you to voluntarily make up for more than double the lost time, without accepting pay,"
Carol waited for Doug to argue back, and explain why he was late. Instead, Doug lifted his head slightly, and said wearily, "I'm sorry, Kerry. I'll skip a whole month's worth of pay." Then he walked past Kerry to get to work, seeing Carol by the desk but not acknowledging her there.
As she watched him walk away from her as if she didn't exist, Carol thought, Doug………?
Doug headed straight to an exam room with a chart of a kid who'd just come in. He felt horrible just passing by Carol without acknowledging her existence, but he couldn't risk giving her any chances to tell him she was leaving him. He decided to engross himself in work, not take any coffee breaks, not slack off, not take time to eat lunch, and to avoid any possible confrontation with Carol.
He took out a pen from his pocket and thought, All that overtime work for nothing. There’ll never be a wedding, I lose a paycheck because of a traffic jam, and Carol doesn’t love me……This is all my fault. I guess I deserve this. Carol will be better off with someone who will tell her when he’s working overtime. Doug momentarily stops. It’s my fault.
~~~
Later, when he was walking down the hall to the admit desk, Doug lifted his head slightly and caught a glimpse of Carol walking towards him. She was about to call his name, but he turned and ran away from her. Carol said softly, "Doug, wait…" but knew it was no use. He hates me. The tears gathered in her eyes, and she swiped at them with her sleeve before slowly turning around and walking back towards the admit desk.
Watching her from behind the door of the exam room to which he had fled, Doug said, "Don’t cry, Carol. Not because of me. You'll be rid of me soon enough." Then he left the exam room and slipped into the elevator nearby, heading up to the pediatrics department to attend to one of his patients.
~~~
Suddenly, there was a shrill beeping coming from Doug's belt. He looked down and saw the message on his pager, "ER: Mass trauma, ETA 5 min. Come immediately, Doug."
Before Doug could think, there was another beeping, coming from one of the machines of his young patient. Immediately Doug disregarded his pager message and turned his full attention to the pedes patient, who was suffering from a severe case of epilepsy.
"I'll stay here as long as I need to, but I'm not letting you die…" Doug said as he started chest compressions.
Outside the room, Carol looked on. You can do it, Doug… Then she ran down the stairs to the ER, to help with the incoming flood of patients.
~~~
When Doug showed up in the ER half an hour later, he was greeted by an irate Kerry. She approached him and said, "Where were you, Doug? We paged you half an hour ago with an urgent message about an incoming mass trauma. There was an order for you to come immediately. We needed all the help we could get, but you must've been too preoccupied, right?" She glared at him.
Tell her you were up in Pedes, Doug. Tell her you weren't slacking off… Carol thought. She hated to see Doug being scolded like this. Carol glanced down at Doug's ID card in her right hand, and gripped on to it slightly tighter. Then she watched Doug.
Doug momentarily thought about the several patients he had saved while up in Pedes. They were short one pediatrician, so Doug volunteered for an hour. "I'm sorry. I was…I was taking a break and I turned off my pager," he lied.
Alarmed, Carol thought, No, Doug! Why did you lie? It wasn't your fault… She bit down lightly on her lower lip and waited for Kerry to speak.
"Might I remind you, Dr. Ross, that you were already late this morning. So what made you think that you could take a break and not keep your pager on?"
Doug quietly said towards the floor, "I'm sorry."
Kerry, fuming, walked away, saying over her shoulder, "Get back to work."
Once Kerry disappeared into an exam room, Doug turned around and, not even lifting his eyes to meet Carol's, walked past her silently.
Carol spun around and impulsively called out his name, hoping that he'd turn around. She watched, and waited, but all she saw was Doug's back as he continued walking away.
~~~
"Well, what are you going to do?" Mark asked, when they were alone sitting outside by the ambulance bay, after Doug finished telling him everything that had happened with Carol.
Doug shrugged in resignation. "What am I supposed to do? She thought I was cheating on her cause I was working OT nights. I mean, this must've been my fault. If I had told her I was working…If I had thought about her feelings, this would never have happened. I can't blame her for kissing someone else. I can't blame her for breaking my heart. I hurt her so much back then, I guess I deserve this. Everything's my fault, Mark. Blame me for everything." A pause in Doug's self-condemnation. "But it makes sense though. I mean, that paramedic is probably much younger than me, and is probably much more good looking than I am. Well, I guess that second part doesn't count, cause I am pretty ugly now. But Carol's probably always been bothered by this five year difference we have. Anyway, then that makes sense. All those hookers at the bars, yeah the ones that Carol thinks I've been sleeping with, those hookers probably look for the old, ugly guys like me, thinking we're all desperate and that we've got the money. I've got to give Carol credit. She's smart………and that's why I'm in love with her. She's, she's Carol." Mark tried to intercept and say something, but Doug continued. "It's all my fault. I can’t even show Carol how much I love her. I guess it's right for her to leave me. I don't deserve anything good, and I certainly don't deserve Carol…" Doug stopped and sighed, wallowing in his sadness.
"Doug, go talk to her. I'm sure you're wrong about her leaving you an all. Carol loves you. Believe me, it's the truth. Besides---" Mark's pager sounded. "Damn. Sorry, Doug, gotta go. Just find Carol and talk to her. Good luck, buddy." He got up and headed back into the ER.
Doug didn't watch him leave; he hung his head in discouragement and stared at the ground.
Spotting him sitting outside, Carol decided that this time, she would explain everything to Doug, once and for all. Putting on her coat and pushing through the doors, she approached Doug, apparently unaware of her presence, and took a deep breath, preparing to speak. Suddenly, her pager sounded, startling both Carol and Doug. His head shot up and he regarded Carol with sadness and fear as she shut off her pager. Before Carol could get a grip on things and stop him, Doug got up and disappeared inside the ER.
"Stop running, Doug…please don't run from me…" Carol said, a forced whisper as she swiped away tears and sat on the bench.
~~~
Hours later, Carol sat in despondency in the lounge, replaying the numerous times Doug had deliberately avoided her. Will you never talk to me again? She looked at her watch. Just two more hours to go, and she'd be on the El heading home.
Home. A lonely night in her empty house. Carol shuddered, a chill passing through her body, her body feeling slightly weak. Damn. She didn't need to be sick now.
What she needed was a chance to apologize to Doug, to explain everything to him. She needed him to listen to her, and not turn away at the sight of her.
Seriously, if Doug turned his back on her just once more, she'd break down. The dozen or so times when he had turned and run in the opposite direction, Carol had been deeply hurt each and every time. She couldn't bear it any longer. Just thinking about it pained her. Sniffling, Carol got up and headed to the door, pulling it open.
At the same time, someone pushed the door from outside. "Oh, sorry," he said, when the door hit Carol's foot. He looked to see whom he had accidentally hit, and his face turned several shades paler.
"Doug?"
Immediately, he turned around and tried leaving the room, but just as quickly, Carol grabbed his arm. She attempted to speak, but to no avail. Overwhelmed with sorrow at the sight of Doug's back turned to her yet once again, Carol let go of his arm and broke into tears.
Realizing that he was free from Carol's grasp, Doug was going to leave, except that he heard her cry so sadly that his heart broke. He turned around and discovered Carol standing there weeping. Did I do this to her?… His heart ached. Doug cautiously wiped Carol's tears from her cheeks, but said nothing.
She leaned on his shoulder and cried--taking Doug by surprise--but forced herself to speak, for fear that he'd leave again and she'd have wasted this opportunity. "I'm so sorry, Doug. I shouldn't have let Greg kiss me, I shouldn'tve. I regretted it the moment his lips were on mine. All I could think of was you, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was involved. He told me everything, and I couldn't just tell him off. But I know I should have, Doug. I'm so sorry I didn't…." She sniffled. "I didn't mean what I said when I yelled at you, Doug. I meant none of it, and I don't know why I said what I did, or why I yelled at you. I never knew you were working nights, I didn't know…But I should've been more understanding to you…I'm so incredibly sorry, Doug, and…if you don't want to be with me anymore, I'll understand. I can't blame you for hating me for what I've done. But I, I love you, Doug, and I want to be with you and spend the rest of my life with you." Carol wiped her eyes and, her speech done, warily moved an inch away from Doug, afraid of how he'd respond. She didn't dare look him in the eye.
Doug whispered, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Carol. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was working, and I'm sorry I kept avoiding you." He took her in his arms and held her close. "I love you," he whispered, his chin on her head.
Carol reciprocated his hug, sinking into his embrace. "Will we be ok?" she asked, her voice muffled by his scrub top.
He didn't even hesitate before he answered, "We'll be fine, Carol. We'll be just fine."



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