Even the sleeping pills she had taken would not stop the dreams. In her sleep, she would be both delighted and tormented with her memories of that video shoot, and Voz.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Nikki woke Raina just before dawn, and hurried her through makeup and wardrobe. Del had decided that two of Raina's “frustrated loneliness” scenes should have a sunrise background. It was supposed to simulate her being up all night with anger and worry.
That wouldn't be a problem for her. After last night, Raina felt like she looked like she had run and all-night marathon that her life depended on. It was depressing, but it fit in perfectly with what Del wanted. If the truth were known, she was sure Carlos didn't really rush her through her makeup - she just looked crappy enough to make his job easy. The dark circles under her eyes and the effort to keep her eyes open was real, last night's after effect. Though she fell asleep quickly, she slept fitfully.
Del was very pleased when she knocked off three short scenes for him within half an hour. Since they would amount to about twenty to thirty seconds of footage, and she was working alone, it was much easier. He wanted a look, a feeling, and the lack of dialogue helped her with her work. He complimented her profusely - for Del - and tried to get her to scan the dailies with him. It was easy for her to beg off: she was here to be Nikki's shadow. Nikki's chores for the day were many, including a quick trip to a larger town nearby.
Raina extracted herself from Del. She stripped out of her video costume into street clothes, creamed away the garish makeup to apply something looking slightly more alive and natural, then searched for Nikki. Thankfully, Nikki did want to go out-of-town first, so Raina was able to avoid being cornered by Voz. It would've been easy for him to get her alone in the second rented house where he and the guys and miscellaneous crew would be going over the dailies. That would take a couple of hours, checking carefully for the need to reshoot.
Jury also brought along what they decided was their best before-and-after show footage, some professional and some taken by the guys themselves. Del would also be viewing those tapes in search of what was needed. Taping would not begin until sunset; set up and rehearsals a couple hours before.
Raina and Nikki had minimal problems with finding the items on the list given to them by Del and the crew. The last of it was up to them: Del had decided they would celebrate early success - and the success of tonight that he was slyly confident of - with a campfire cookout at Clear Lake, only ten minutes south of the location.
The two women decided on a hot dog roast with all the trimmings. Raina was glad to have Nikki to distract her. They talked candidly about clothes, television and videos. Nikki had tons of interesting tidbits on videos she had worked on with Del. Only once did she hint around the subject of what was happening between Raina and Voz. It was dismissed and forgotten - well, maybe not forgotten, but it didn't come up again. Raina liked the assistant and they were good company for one another, but she just couldn't open up to her the way she could with Donna.
In fact, if Donna wasn't in Indiana visiting her mother, Raina would've called her by now for the catharsis and advice. She was on her own.
Except, maybe, for Don. He seemed to back Voz's attraction to her. But he knew Voz well. He could be an ally, if approached just right . . .
Don beat her to the punch. He met Raina and Nikki at the second house when they finally arrived. Somewhere Nikki had made a wrong turn, steering them right into a large mink farm. In spite of the disgustingly pungent aroma, they broke into a fit of laughter that made it close to impossible for Nikki to drive. They ended up back at the location late, still giggling at their fragrant adventure. Raina was preoccupied, unquestioning, when Don invited her to his trailer. She only became suspicious at Maria's conspicuous absence.
He asked her to sit and offered her a wine cooler that she accepted. He returned to the trailer's cramped dining nook with two open bottles of berry-flavored wine. Raina was tempted to chug hers, but restrained herself.
It would be difficult for Don to talk to her, she could tell. He seemed eager to be done, but reluctant to relay whatever was going to be said. Because she liked him so well, Raina eased the situation by telling him about the lost journey to the mink farm. She was glad she had done it when she noticed he relaxed a bit. Still, he wasn't ready to talk. Soon she'd have to get ready for her shoot, and with what that entailed, she needed all her prep time. Raina prodded him along by asking him if everything was okay between him and Maria.
"Yeah, yeah, Maria and I are fine, Raina." He hesitated, took a gulp of his cooler, forced himself to say, "I need to talk to you about Voz."
Yup, she braced herself, should've known. "What about him?"
"You can relax about your shoot. He'll handle it professionally. In fact, I insisted on it and he agreed." He saw the look of surprise on her face and took another drink before going on. "He told me about last night."
"I told him he was pushing you. And that if he didn't slow down, there'd be no way you'd ever, not that you would . . . Jesus, Raina, if only you'd seen him after Rachel . . . You're probably not the type to believe in a love-at-first-sight thing. After his first reaction to you, after so long of not dealing with his pain the right way, he really needs a chance with you. I know him so well, somehow you two go together. Like you balance each other."
“Who is Rachel?”
“Well, that’s a long story, but if you know a bit about it, maybe you’ll understand. You’ve heard of Rachel Bahr, the model?” Raina nodded. “She and Voz dated for a while, you might know that from the tabloids. They were followed around by the paparazzi quite closely for a while.” Oh yes. Raina now knew what Don was talking about, the two were showcased as the perfect couple. She had forgotten about that. “Rachel and Voz had been together for three years. Voz had fallen hard for her right away, but Rachel was not willing to get as involved. He, however, did not notice. Rumors had begun to fly two months before the breakup, but Voz remained oblivious.” Don said he believed Voz was "stone in love".
“Voz wrote her a song - agonized over it - which was actually a proposal. He had her flown to the studio they were recording at in Australia. The studio had been flooded with Lily-of-the-Valley, her favorite flower. Then he escorted her to the sound booth that looked into the darkened studio. He left her there, going into the studio. They had all been there and played her the song in the glow of soft lights. When it ended, and she just stood there, Voz went to see what was wrong. She had led him out into the hallway. After a while, the band became worried when the couple did not come in to announce their engagement, and went looking for them. They found Voz alone in the hall outside the sound booth - just sitting on the floor. It seems Rachel had only agreed to the trip because she thought it was going to be their last fling. Next month, she told him, she was going to marry Mick Freeman. She had only known that aging rock 'n' roll slimeball for two months.”
"Voz hasn't been the same since. If you'd seen him before, you'd understand why I'm so happy that he asked you here. After Rachel, no female meant a thing to him. He's always had women hanging on him, wanting to jump his bones. Even Brill, stud that he is, was jealous.” That made Raina smile, thinking of Brill being jealous of Voz. “Before Rachel, he was uneasy with it, but he learned to enjoy it. When he was with her, he was cool, but polite to the female fans. When she left him, there was nothing. And I mean nothing. He walked by them as if they weren't there. Not a word, not one autograph. It got to the point that after a show, he’d run to the bus and stay there until we left. He never minded how long we’d stay after for a meet and greet with the fans, as long as he didn’t have to be there."
Raina didn't say a word, so he continued. "Voz had been hurting for so long, and then there you were, in that salon, just by chance. He wanted you, even then. He told me so - that night, at the concert for the record execs at Fortello’s. I couldn’t believe he’d gotten back into the swing again, but I was happy for him. Voz is a shy guy most of the time. What everyone sees one stage is an act. He’s very different offstage; he’s a nice guy. For some reason, he got it into his head that what you would want was that stage persona. Maybe it’s even possible that Brill told him that. Sometimes Brill will do that to you, lead you in the wrong direction, thinking he’s joking with you. Brill can be strange that way. You’ll catch on, when you get to know him.” Don gave Raina a wry smile. “After you gave him a chance at that dinner, well, you should have seen him. It was like someone had pumped the life back into him. Then you actually said you’d come to this shoot. And you stepped up to the plate when we needed some help with this video. He's gone overboard. But once he realized that his bold rock-star behavior bothered you, he felt even worse.. Maybe he’s just so mixed up, he doesn’t really know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to explain it to you. He told me what he did on the dance floor. I've got it through to him that there's no way you'd tolerate that again."
"That's for sure," Raina put in, though she wasn't convinced herself.
"You won't be able to completely turn him off. But for tonight, for the sake of the video, the band, Del, and your peace of mind, he'll behave. You can go into this like two actors with a job to do. The scene may turn out stiff, but we can live with that. He won't pull anything. He’s my friend, Raina. I love him like a brother, and I want to see him happy. I hope that you can forgive him for pushing you. But give him a chance. I think he really cares about you." Now that his duty had been done, he chugged the remainder of his drink. He wasn't as confident of Voz as Voz was, but he was hoping like mad.
And Don believed if Voz pulled it off and behaved, Raina may respect him for it. If nothing else, if they could at least part as friends, Voz could be let down easy. Easy, yea, right - wishful thinking.
Raina contemplated the story Don had just told her. After a minute, she went with her first instinct: to relieve Don's tension. How had he let himself get caught in the middle? Mostly because he also wanted Voz and Raina together. Was she the only one against it, the only one wrong? She wondered pessimistically.
"Don, don't worry about me. I guess I've been a little bit oversensitive about this. Anyone else would be flattered. Maybe I would, too, if I hadn't just ended a bad relationship. Thanks for talking to Voz. If he can tone it down a bit, I'm sure we'll be fine. We can both try."
"Really?"
"Yes. You all have helped me out by letting me observe, and I'll even get paid for being in this video. For that, I can handle Voz."
"Great!" Then he changed moods, trying to sound casual. "Are you even a little interested? By all his attention, I mean."
"Ok, Don, don't you start!"
He looked guilty, but said anyway, "Well, he's always had women hanging on him. It's hard to believe that anyone . . . "
"All right, all right. Yes, I think he is very good-looking, and he’s talented beyond belief. He sings and women melt. Even me. But I'm looking for more than that in a relationship. He's just . . . too perfect, too much for me. It feels like some kind of fantasy, that fate is playing a joke on me. But I’m still getting over my last relationship, and this wouldn’t be fair to Voz, or me. At this point in my life, it just wouldn't work. Bad timing."
"So you're saying that it's possible . . . "
"Not really. I'm just saying that I'm happy by myself, where I am, right now."
"So you could be attracted to him?"
Raina sighed. Her watch said she had to get on to wardrobe and get instructions from Nikki. "Don, now you're pushing." She got up threw out her empty bottle. "I'm not ready for all the effort a long-distance relationship needs. Doesn't it get hard for you and Maria?"
Don contradicted her without pause. "No. We make time. She travels with me whenever she can. We've been together too long to let the little stuff get to us. It’s not always easy and it takes a lot of work, understanding. We talk about everything, even our insecurities. Being apart some of the time is good for us. We don't have many problems with that."
Raina opened the door. "Maria's a lucky woman, Don. For someone like you, any woman would wait. I'm going to find Nikki now before I'm late. Thanks for talking to Voz. I know that he'll try his best for you."
She left Don thinking about the conversation. She'd never said no when he had pushed for an answer about having a relationship with Voz. As long as there wasn't a definite 'no', there was hope. Voz better not blow this.
That thought made him go to his friend's trailer for a man-to-man talk before he had to be on the set.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Raina learned from Nikki how concerned and thoughtful Don could be. Though almost everyone thought it had been Del's request, Nikki said that Don had asked her to close the set. Everyone that was not of absolute importance to the first taping of the sunset reunion was dismissed. The crew never suspected anything other than the chance to leave early to set up the celebratory barbecue.
For this scene, timing was crucial. The local paper had estimated sunset for 8:06 p.m., set call was for seven-thirty. Del used this time to check wardrobes, give directions, and speak to Raina and Voz separately. The two were to speak to each other under no circumstances before the shoot, and had instructed Nikki to keep them apart all day. It was his belief that the forced separation, tension, lack of collaboration, and preparation would add to the sexual tension he wanted in the shot. Del already had two wardrobe assistants do the stand-ins in three marked areas. He had the lighting gaffers meticulously measure and light each spot to find the perfect angle in which to film Voz and Raina's reconciliation.
He was also compelled to explain to Raina the motivations for her scene. "Your belief in this affair has devastated you. You're utterly destroyed, but masked your hurt in anger - as in the accusation scene. You heard the rumors, saw the groupies, totally believed all the evidence. You loved this man so deeply it is unbearable. Now that you have found out the truth - that he has miraculously remained faithful to you - you are overcome with guilt. You want him to know you found out the truth - via the schedule that puts him in an interview when the alleged affair took place - and you want forgiveness. You must convey total vulnerability, beg with your eyes. When you see that he realizes you believe in him, you need to show relief. Let see, ummm . . . trembling - yes! If you can make your lower lip tremble . . ." Raina complied. "Good, good! The sexual tension must build in the kiss - make the viewers hot and this single will hit number one in a week! Your problem, and Voz's, will be the ability to click from one emotion to another immediately. If we do not get through the entire run before the sun is at the best vantage point, I will direct you to kiss and you'll both have to change into your final phase. Where the sun hits best is most important, we can always go through the rest of the sequence tomorrow or the next night. Got it?" Raina nodded. "Ok, Nikki, I leave her to you. I've got to coach Voz."
Before he turned, he saw Raina's nervousness. "Chin up, peach. I know you two can do this. The sun is the only problem." He smiled and went to Voz, leaving her dumbfounded.
"Nikki, what's his game? Why does he have such faith in me? I'm a rookie, for God's sake!"
The assistant replied, "Jesus, if you were married, I'd say that it's true the wife is always the last to know. But you don't, huh?"
Raina shook her head. "Tell me."
Nikki was working on Raina’s hair. “It's pretty plain to everyone that Voz is all taken up with you. Del even knows. He's sure he'll get what he wants for the video because of it."
Raina contradicted, "Voz thinks what he thinks. I'm not interested in him that way, and he knows it. Since this is a one-way street, why is Del so sure of this scene anyway?"
Nikki's smile was all-knowing. "We've worked with Voz before. He has a way of putting a spell over women whether he realizes it or not." She now looked Raina square in the eye, no longer adjusting her hair or clothing. "And you're not fooling anyone but yourself, Raina. You and I have been attached at the hip for two days now. While you've been watching and learning from me, I've also been observing you. I've seen you watching Voz. Even though you're holding yourself back, you play a good game of hard-to-get. It seems to be working with him, he's caught by the proverbial hook, line, and sinker."
"But I'm not interested. Voz is very good-looking, but he's just not my type. We have very different ideas . . . " Raina attempted to protest.
Nikki would have none of it. "No matter what you say, when you look at him it's obvious. Why don't you give up your pretense and just go with the flow? I sure would, if he'd have me. And if Del would allow it."
"How can you let Del run your social life?"
"How can you turn down a man like Voz?" When Raina looked shocked, Nikki added hastily, "Sorry I'm so blunt. I consider you a friend. And I have been dying to ask you that. I'd really like to know, if you don't mind talking to me . . . "
Thankfully, Del's call to the set cut off Nikki's curiosity and gave Raina time to think of a reasonable answer.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Raina stood behind the closed door with Nikki at her side. Via a headset that connected her with Del, Nikki would cue Raina when to open the door and run to Voz. Nikki could see the scene through the window: the bus stops, and its only passenger, Voz, stands in the doorway. The street is deserted. He gets off the bus with a small overnight bag slung over one shoulder. The bus pulls away as he turns toward 'her' empty-looking house. Painfully, he turns away and walks dejectedly down the road. When he hits his mark, Del signals Nikki, who cues Raina.
With determination to put her best acting foot forward, she set her mind in the girlfriend role. Raina flung open the door, schedule paper in hand as provided by Nikki. She yelled for Voz and began running after him before he turned. That was jumping the gun: the direction was actually to stand on the front porch until he turned, then start running to him. Del did not yell "cut" because time was too exacting for them to start over for such trivial matters that could be edited later.
Raina reached Voz. She hesitated a few steps from him as they both searched each other's troubled eyes. The schedule was offered. He took it reluctantly until he realized what it was and what it meant. She touched his arm tentatively and looked up at him in shame. Her lip trembled as directed. What followed, however, was more than Del expected, better than Voz hoped, and nearly beyond Raina's comprehension as she surrendered to the spell Nikki had predicted.
Once again, what got to her was his eyes - deep within, a new, undiscovered Voz was revealed. Real caring, real compassion, was shining through. And a passion, yes, but not the aggressive lust he had shown in the Jury videos she had seen before. This was hot, yet unthreatening, desire.
When their eyes locked, Raina was hopelessly lost. They mesmerized her beyond the ability to shut herself off. Everyone else was forgotten as they inched together. It was a near repeat of their Ferris wheel encounter: Voz raised his hand to her face, lowered his lips to hers. This time Raina did not pull away. All her mental protestations were whisked away by his eyes, his lips, his tender way of touching her cheek. She abandoned her thoughts and responded eagerly; he instantly registered the change in her and kissed her as he did the night before on the dance floor, with one significant difference: she reciprocated.
The world melted away from them until they were only aware of each other. It was a time of discovery for them both since this time Raina was a more than willing partner. Her hands encircled him, soon entwining in his hair. He pulled her closer, tight enough to make breathing difficult. The embrace blissfully seemed to last forever.
Neither of them was aware that the sun was almost entirely gone, nor did they hear Del end the scene. What brought them back to reality were cat calls, hoots, and a smattering of applause. Some of the band and crew had secretly stuck around for a bit to see what would happen between the two.
He pulled away from her reluctantly, searching her face for the answer to the only question that now mattered to him: was she acting or was she finally realizing that she was attracted to him, Voz - the man?
He could not read her.
Raina was still entranced by his eyes. She heard the wolf whistles and pulled back, turned red, and felt so self-conscious she wanted to run. But instead she looked to Del, who seemed definitely satisfied. So she turned and tried to walk calmly to Nikki to escape from her embarrassment to the trailer.
The silence was awkward as Nikki waited to take Raina's clothing back to wardrobe before they joined the party at Clear Lake. Raina came out changed for the party and handed Nikki the costume with a very strange expression on her face. Unable to decide how to handle the situation, Nikki thought it best to let Raina be the one to admit to her change in attitude toward Voz.
"I'll just take these back and we'll head out, ok?"
"Sure."
"Wanna walk back with me? The Jeep's right around the back of the house."
"Ok."
Both were quiet on the way over and in wardrobe. Nikki could see Raina's thoughts were in turmoil. She was barely able to keep from asking questions. Once in the Jeep, she could be still no longer. It took her a minute to figure out how to broach the subject without being too offensive or nosey.
"So what happened out there?"
Raina looked at Nikki with a mixture of surprise, resentment, and relief. She had to talk this out, and Nikki seemed to be the best - and currently, the only - choice.
"Nikki, I just don't know. It . . . he . . . was different. That's all I can come up with right now to describe it. But how did you know? Was it that obvious? God, I'm so embarrassed."
"Don't be, everyone was pretty much just waiting for it to happen. I think it was obvious to me because I figured out that you were holding back." Unnecessarily, she thought, but added instead, "And Voz, too; I'm sure he figured it out."
"But how?"
"You are showing your rookie side now! When actors are impartial, Raina, they usually hear their director say 'cut!'"
"Did we . . .? "
"Yes. Shit yes! For about a minute!"
"Oh my God!" Raina slid down in the seat, and chewed her thumbnail.
Nikki laughed. "It's no big deal, I have seen it happen before. I'm surprised you came to your senses so soon after we talked, and during that kiss! So now what will you do?"
"Don't know. Play it by ear, I guess. I feel like a complete idiot. I just hope he didn't get the idea . . . "
"Voz? You bet he did! I saw it: it was some kiss. How could he not?"
Raina had no clue what to say to that.
"Hey, don't let me give you the wrong impression. I don't know him all that well, but what I do know, I like. You asked before why I let Del run my social life. It makes my life easier, and it's a great excuse to be able to say that your job prohibits fraternizing with bands, actors, and extras. Unfortunately, I know from experience. After I broke up with one of our regular extras, life was hell. He was good at his job, but we just couldn't work together anymore. That's when Del and I came up with that great little policy."
"It makes good sense."
"You bet it does. But back to you. I'd hate to see you pass over Voz because of his stage persona. That’s just not him. When it’s just him, and he’s not trying to be Voz D’Oro, lead singer for Jury, he’s such a sweet, shy guy. Something also tells me that Don and Maria agree with me."
Raina sighed. "Yea, they do. But I've never started relationships just because everyone else approves. Can we drop this for now? We're almost there."
"Sure. Remember, I consider you a friend, so if you need to talk, come and find me, I’ll be on the beach with the others, somewhere. Look for me. Plus tonight I'll only be ten feet away in the next cot. Unless . . . " she smiled wickedly, "you don't plan on coming back to the trailer."
"Nikki!"
They both ended up laughing as they pulled up to the group of vehicles parked up on the bank. Out on the sand, the party had begun.
So had Raina's anxiety.