Lady of the Rings
by Brandy Dewinter and Ellen Hayes
(All rights reserved)
Chapter 17 - The Invisible Woman
Build 5
Monday morning again came very early. I needed the morning workouts
to loosen up, but they were more effective now. The pain receded rela-
tively quickly to become merely agonizing. When I was finished and
cleaned up I went to see Sarah. She gave me the posters and free passes
as promised and I caught a ride into town to try once again to get into
the office with the next magic ring.
There was a different guard on duty so I didn't need to overcome any
residual memories from the pig that thought I was lesbian. I marched up
to the new guy with confidence, trying to ignore the jiggling in my
still-unsupported tits. He didn't ignore that motion, though. I never
knew a guy's eyes could move independently like a lizard's before, but he
made a valiant effort to track each of my oscillating shapes.
"Hello." I tried the big smile route.
"Well, hello, little lady," Lizard replied. "And just what can I do
for you?"
I ignored his leer and just pushed on, waving an unrolled poster in
front of my shirt which was where his eyes were still glued. "I'm from
the circus that's in town. This is our last week and the boss has deci-
ded to offer some free passes to any offices that will let us post adver-
tisements."
"Well, just let me have those posters and I'll make sure they get
where they need to go. If you make it worth my while . . ."
What a piece of shit! His eyes actually flickered for an instant
right at the wastebasket, even while he was propositioning me. I'd
sooner die than let that reptile touch me. And it was clear he had no
intention of helping me with the posters.
"Actually, I need to take them around myself in order to get the
right information for our records on who got the free passes," I replied,
thinking about what I really wanted to do with those posters. My hands
had been rolling up the poster without my conscious thought, tighter and
tighter until it might even have fit where I wanted to put it, maybe not
that hard at that since he was all asshole.
"Sorry," still leering, no remorse in this lizard. "No one gets
past here without a prior appointment, unless they work here."
The casual way he said it made it clear he had no authority to break
the rule, and no intention of doing so unless I "made it worth his
while." Well, up yours, Lizard. I'm outta here.
"Too bad," I said as I turned away. I could feel his eyes burning
into my butt all the way out the door. At least in the snug jeans I was
wearing those orbs moved more or less in unison. I wanted that slimy
reptile to hurt, so to tease him I let my hips start swaying even more
than usual then turned to look over my shoulder just as I exited. He
was drooling. I swear I could see it from clear across the lobby. I
planned to give him a one-finger salute, but I figured he'd seen that a
lot. Something else came to me. Still standing in the doorway, I put
the posters under one arm and reached up to cup my braless tits and lift
them to him as though making an offer he wouldn't want to refuse. His
jaw hit the floor so hard I figured it chipped the tile. That's when I
flipped him off and laughed as I walked out the door.
It was a Pyrrhic victory at best since I hadn't made any progress
toward the ring at all. After that I wandered through the shops near the
Brant building for a while, handing out the posters and passes anyway,
mostly watching for the flow of traffic in and out. The previous story
was repeated, with the only unescorted women that were permitted access
already known to the guard or listed in his ledger. Even after I handed
out all the posters I continued to hang around.
About noon the primary flow was out of the building and I spotted
one of my target auras. The one I believed was Tailor, the beefy field
engineer type, walked out like a rock rolling downhill, dislodging others
with casual indifference. He strode toward his target, a fast-food
burger place, as though fueling his body was a job like any other, to be
accomplished expeditiously and with minimum effort.
I followed him into the . . . well, almost restaurant, and stood
next to him in line. He glanced at me once, then again. Then I could
see his mind close to me as though I had literally disappeared. What was
wrong? When he first saw me out of the corner of his eye I deserved a
second glance, but as soon as he saw me clearly I was flawed somehow. I
wondered why. I was dressed as usual and I knew I was reasonably attrac-
tive for a girl. He wasn't so old I expected he thought I was too young
and I didn't catch any sense of homosexuality in his aura. What was
wrong with me?
I was considering a more forward attempt to make his acquaintance,
but before I could get up the nerve he was finished and on his way.
Strike one. Big Time. Back when I was a guy I had never dismissed a
girl so quickly, had I? At least, not a pretty one.
On his way out of the restaurant he passed another girl, about my
age, about my size (and shape, if that was more important). He didn't
treat her the same, though. This girl caught his eye in a big way and
the only significant difference I could see was that she was dressed like
one of the special duty secretaries in a short skirt and spindly heels.
Oh, so he was one of the chauvinist types. I hadn't picked that up
in his aura. Or rather, it hadn't dominated his aura like it had for
some of the others. Funny, though, even as he left, I didn't really see
the sort of disrespect for women that I expected. Instead, it was just
that the girl in the short skirt had caught his eye rather than be
ignored. Is being virtually ignored in a casual encounter the same as
being treated disrespectfully?
With a flash of insight that I knew was enhanced by the ring I wore,
it came to me that he just appreciated women who were proud to be women.
Since I was dressed in jeans and a unisex shirt that seemed (more like
tried as hard as I could) to deny my femininity, he tuned me out just as
he would have tuned out a male teenager who had no value in his universe.
Was that chauvinist? I wasn't comfortable with that easy excuse for why
he ignored me.
Well, there were still two more candidate men to strike up a friend-
ship with, based on my reconnaissance last night. And I could try and
get acquainted with one of the secretaries, too. In a few minutes I was
back on watch outside the Brant building. One of the regular secretaries
came out and her aura showed that she worked in the right office. I fol-
lowed her along for a few minutes, then into a jewelry store.
She was about 50 but trim and neatly dressed, not in a women's
business suit, just a neat skirt and comfortably feminine blouse. Medium
heels, relatively short brown hair (probably colored since no gray
showed). As she leaned over a display case, I walked up beside her.
"Do you suppose a red stone that big is a real ruby, or a garnet?" I
asked to start a conversation.
"At that price, it better be a real ruby," she said as she turned
toward me.
She went through an assessment so similar to the Tailor guy that it
looked rehearsed. First she glanced at me in a sort of instant gestalt
appraisal that took in no details. Then she gave me a quick second look
that took in my ponytail, minimal makeup and unisex clothes. I could see
her interest like a light bulb burning out, brief flash and then nothing.
She had turned back to the display, even a bit further than before so
that her shoulder shut me out of her world, before I had a chance to say
anything further.
I'd have been irritated at her rudeness, but there was more disap-
pointment than arrogance in her aura. She worked hard to look like a
lady, had done so all of her life, and didn't have any time for girls who
wasted their natural beauty while they were young. Of course, there was
an undercurrent of jealousy in that perception, or envy, but the dismis-
sal was just as definite as Tailor's had been.
I covered my embarrassment by looking a few more things in the dis-
play case, but as soon as I could I left the store. It was about time to
get back to the circus anyway, and I went to meet my ride.
The performance and carousel duty went off without a hitch, though I
was distracted all evening. With the latest Vegas odds running overwhel-
mingly against my gaining access to the key office on my current path, I
needed to try something different. Burglary was effectively out. Maybe
the Mission Impossible team could pull something off, but not me. None
of the people in the office seemed interested in befriending an unremar-
kable teenager so I'd have to become interesting in some other way.
That night Kim and I were the last ones in the washroom and I deci-
ded I needed to ask for help.
"Kim, could I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"Not here, can we go for a walk?"
The spice of interest was back in her eyes and I didn't do anything
to correct the impression she was building in her mind. I felt bad about
that, but I needed her too badly to be as careful as I knew I should be.
Regardless of why she came along, we pulled on enough clothes to be
decent and headed out of the dorm trailer.
"Let's go by Tom's trailer. I want to pick up Freya," I suggested.
She nodded and in a few minutes my friendly bodyguard was nuzzling
my hand as we walked on. I hadn't really said anything as we started
walking, but Kim recognized my turmoil and gave me the time to get my
thoughts together. I wished a couple of minutes would have been enough.
I really, really didn't want to lie to her. Now that no one could lie to
me, at least not and get away with it, I didn't want to lie to anyone I
considered a friend. Old Andreas, back when I had been mostly thinking
of him as Gandalf from his appearance, had told me I had been selected in
part because of my sense of ethics. Pesky things, ethics.
"I have a problem," I announced, needlessly. "I haven't told any-
one. I'm not sure quite how to go about it."
"Just let it out, Bree. I'm, um, willing, to, um, listen." Kim
stammered.
Oh God! She thought I was about to proposition her! And she was
interested! I had to get her off that track.
A near-truth blurted into my mouth, "I'm on a sort of quest."
"A quest? What sort of a quest?" she asked, too surprised to be
hurt. Yet.
"Well," treading the fine line between lying and unbelievable truth,
"it's sort of an initiation, really. I need to get into an office in
that building we were in the other day. Just for a few minutes. I don't
want to do anything illegal. It's sort of a test of my abilities to,
well, convince people to do things, I guess. Anyway, I don't quite know
what to do."
"Is that where you've been going on our afternoons off?" Kim asked,
an innocuous question not quite covering the now-present disappointment
in her voice.
"Yeah, mostly. I've been hanging around trying to meet someone who
would invite me up. Not having much luck." Try none.
Her aura flickered in the dimness of the night. Though she tried to
hide it I knew she was holding back laughter. It made me mad. Here I
was trying to be honest with her and all I got was ridicule.
I snapped at her, "Look, I just hoped I could get some help. If you
don't want to, fine!"
Kim touched my arm lightly, "No, Bree, please. I'm sorry. It's
just that I was expecting you to say something else. I was laughing at
myself as much as you. More, really. Besides, your problem seems so
obvious to me."
Like that helped. Back to being stupid as well as ugly.
"Look, Bree, I don't pretend to know everything about your back-
ground, but it's clear you've been trying to deny that you're a pretty
girl ever since you got to the circus. There could be a lot of reasons
for that and if you don't think you can share them, I'll respect that.
But if you want to convince someone to do something, you need to get over
it. We're not strong like men, but God gave us some compensating advan-
tages. If you want something, use the advantages you have. Believe me,
girl, you've got plenty of them."
Now I felt worse than ever. Kim was such a nice person and I had
used her emotions against her. Yet she was able to laugh at herself
after only a couple of heartbeats of embarrassment. I'd have been
devastated for days. I wondered if I'd ever get that comfortable in who
I was, or had become. Not likely. She looked to be about the same age I
was but it was clear she was a lot more grown up.
The emotional roller coaster that I had been on ever since I landed
in this body began to overwhelm me again. I felt my eyes fill and the
next thing I knew I was hugging on Kim as though my life depended on her
support.
After a couple of minutes it changed, though. There's something
about squeezing a girl, front to front, that's different when you're a
girl, too. Well, things. Specifically, two things on me, and two on
her. I could feel more than just support from her and felt my own
loneliness pouring out, loneliness that was not limited to a desire for a
quiet talk.
But I still couldn't go there. It was unfair, but it would have
been more unfair to take advantage of the buttons I could now see to
push. I stood up again and brushed a couple of strands of her hair from
her face.
"I'm sorry, Kim. I'm just not, um, ready, um, for well, just
everything."
Even without a magic ring Kim could see my turmoil. She knew she
wasn't really being rejected, only that the circumstances weren't right.
Instead, there was a question in her eyes that asked as strongly for
further explanation as a friend could do without words.
She nodded, lifted her own hand to gently cup my tear-streaked cheek
for just a second, then stood back to regain the emotional separation we
needed right then.
"Bree, please believe me that I'm not making fun of you. But it's
clear that those people downtown are professional business men and women.
They get enough kids, emphasis on childishness, hanging around wherever
they go and they maintain their distance as a way to maintain their pro-
fessional appearance and attitudes. If you want to meet one, you've got
to go to them by moving into their world. You can do it, but not if you
insist on wearing jeans and hiking boots."
"I've never been into frilly clothes," I explained, needlessly.
God, I wore my dislike for even my princess costume like a badge of
honor and we won't even go into the show costume.
"I know," she confirmed. "It was obvious the day I had you try on
that dress. It's not fun for you like it is for most girls. You ought
to give it a fair try, though. Looking good is one of the special
compensations girls have that men just can't experience. At least not
through clothes, I guess they get theirs through showing muscles on a
beach or something. I don't know. Anyway, if you let yourself, you
could look really good. I'll be glad to help."
This wasn't where I wanted to go, but at some level I must have
recognized the need or why had I asked Kim for help? Besides, I told
myself, if I could wear that show costume, I could wear anything. Yeah.
Right. Keep on believing that. I nodded to Kim. There was probably a
look of grim determination on my face, certainly not happy anticipation,
but I knew she was right.
"So, who's this guy you want to meet?" Kim asked with a mischievous
little grin.
Before I even thought, I answered with the sense I had picked up on
Cochran, the next guy on my list of candidates, "Well, he's one of the
guys that works at Brant and company. I don't know much about him, but
he seemed a little lonely to me."
Then I caught her humor and realized I'd just admitted to wanting to
meet a man. No quest, no secret agent mission to penetrate a secure
facility, just a desire to meet a man. A man whom I imagined needed
someone, someone like me. Right. Subtle, that's me, like a brick. Once
again the ready made cover story worked a lot better than even my half-
truths had done.
Kim giggled a little and caught me by the arm. Before I knew what
she had in mind we were at Sarah's trailer and Kim was rapping on the
door.
"Keep you shirt on, I'm coming," we heard a grumpy voice from
inside.
"You two! What do you need at this time of night?" Sarah demanded
once she had the door open.
"Oh, get over it," Kim grinned, "we saw your light on so we knew you
were up."
"Guess what," Kim said with a laugh, "Brinny has a boyfriend and she
needs something pretty to wear."
"I do not!" I insisted, but my denial was drowned out by Sarah's crow
of triumph.
"Why Bree, dear, I knew you had it in you. What's his name?"
"I don't know," I grumped. This had gotten out of hand and I was
getting ready to let them both know what I thought about their humor.
But these two women were my best friends in all the world right
then, maybe for my whole life, and both were so happy for me that I
couldn't be mad at them. They shared that relentless self-assurance that
they'd be able to make things right for me. Besides, both were always
moving too fast for me to get a good chokehold and wring a neck or two.
In a minute, in the face of their enthusiasm, I just had to laugh at my
own self importance. Lighten up, Brittany, you're too much of a bitch!
"It all makes sense, now," Kim exulted. "Sarah, I never did tell
you what happened that day we went into town together. We were walking
along the street and Bree pulled me into one of the office buildings.
Like to take my arm right off. She said she saw someone she thought she
knew, but I think it was someone she wanted to know. Love at first
sight! How romantic!"
My little "friend" continued, "But she can't get him to notice her.
She needs a new look to get his attention. Any ideas?'
"Do I have any ideas? That's my stock in trade!" Sarah chortled.
"I can have her dressed to slay and make him like it before you can say
Cindy Crawford."
"I'm not a model," I tried to get this runaway train under control.
"No, but I'll make you look good enough he won't care about anything
he sees in a magazine, any magazine."
Now there was a leer in her voice that made it clear the models in
the magazines she was referring to weren't interesting to men because of
the clothes they wore. That was too much.
"No! I'm not going to be a hooker. I just want a chance to meet
someone nice. At least, I think he's nice."
"I'm sorry, Bree," Sarah apologized, calming herself as a means of
calming me. "Of course you're right. I can give you a nice, profes-
sional look that will get you noticed. From there, you have to take it
on your own."
My two "friends" gave each other a look that spoke volumes about
poor, lonely me. Some people would have sent pity through that message,
but these two were just too enthusiastic for that. My problem was a
small problem, easily overcome and not something for pity.
Therefore, I resolved, not something for self-pity either. I was
still uncomfortable about the whole thing, not just the need to dress as
a woman, which I had already accepted in large part through the show
outfit and princess costume, but the need to act as a woman in order to
attract a man. I was even more uncomfortable with their assumption that
I wanted to attract the man for romantic reasons, but I was too tired,
too emotionally stressed to try and argue with their happy energy.
Instead, I just let their enthusiasm boil around me until they calmed
down enough to absorb my own troubled emotions.
Sarah went into her mother routine, "Oh, Brinny, take it easy. Go
to bed. Get some rest. You need to get your head on straight about
this. It can be fun if you let it, but you can make it an unbearable
chore if you insist. Trust us. We'll get you through it. Once you get
your guy, you'll thank us."
Now there's a happy thought. What would I do with a guy, if I "got"
him? I didn't even want to think about that, especially late at night so
I let them herd me back to the dorm trailer. Freya waved good-bye (with
her tail, silly) and headed back to Tom's RV. She slept outside as much
as in, anyway. It wasn't long before Kim was asleep and eventually even
I drifted off.
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