| Responses to Questions on Marriage |
| Replies from Baha'i Angst to the questions on marriage. |
| First Set of Questions: I have received your message. Here are the quick answers to your questions. The following URL is a very good one for lots of information on Baha'i marriage: http://bahai.about.com/religion/bahai/cs/marriage8/index.htm - If I do not do this : a) will it mean that she is not married by Bahai laws? Yes. If both of you were non-Baha'is and were married, say in a Christian ceremony, and then later became Baha'is, the Christian ceremony would suffice and no Baha'i ceremony would be needed. But since she is already a Baha'i, she will need to have a Baha'i ceremony. b) will it mean that she can be thrown out of her religion? or at least be shunned by the Bahai community? She will not be thrown out of her religion if she does not have a Baha'i marriage. However, she could face the loss of her "Administrative rights." These rights entitle her to attend Feast, give to the Baha'i funds, vote in elections or serve on Baha'i elected or appointed bodies. Losing these rights is a serious issue for Baha'is who care about them. c) which of Bahai founders has stated these requirements and words to be used? in which book or document is it listed? The vow comes from Baha'u'llah himself in a text called "Questions and Answers" which is itself a supplement to Baha'u'llah's make book of Baha'i Laws, the Kitab-i Aqdas. Also, make sure you get the permission of your biological parents and hers. This is a requirement and is found in paragraph 65 of the Aqdas mentioned above. d) do you have any personal experiences of similar such requests which you could share with me? Your questions are quite normal and are asked often. Keep in mind that Baha'i weddings in and of themselves are quite simple. They can easily be combined with a civil wedding or a religious wedding from another religion. Again, the link I gave will have good information and advice. |
| Second Set: Now in brief answer to your first question below, I feel it is unlikely that the Baha'i wedding will cause you to get added to any lists nor will the Baha'i marriage be taken as an indication of your intentions to become a Baha'i. That's really not the problem with the Baha'is. However, if your wife is active in the Baha'i community, you will probably have a good deal of contact with Baha'is and you will be invited to their firesides and other public meetings, and you might find a sort of peer pressure to join the religion officially. So, really study this thing and don't just look at the nice writings of Baha'u'llah. Look at the admin side of the faith, study the community and see if it really is a spiritual one, ask a lot about the Five Year Plan, read the American Baha'i (if you can stand it), look at Baha'i lists on the internet and see what they talk about. You will find, in my view, a religion that is absolutely obsessed with its own bureaucracy and which has lost its spiritual bearings completely, that will tie up your time with endless committee meetings about Baha'i proclamation events, will take you out the polticial life of your community, and which will try to get you go tive as much money to a variety of funds as possible. Also, once you join, you are not allowed to join any other religion or church, a lot of people don't seem to know this. So while you are to "consort" with people of other faiths in a positive spirit, your church joining options become 0. As for the parent thing, if they don't agree, the wedding is off. If she marries you anyway, she'll almost certainly lose her administrative rights. It's actually kind of funny, but a non-Baha'i might actually have more admin rights than a Baha'i who has lost them. For example, you could go out and find another woman, say a Christian, and the two of you could have a Baha'i wedding if you so desired. Your fiancee, if she had lost her rights, could not. At least that's how I understand it. |
| For directions on how to respond to the gentleman's questions, go back to this page. |
| Nima Hazini has noted the following regarding the source of the phrase used at Baha'i Weddings. c) which of Bahai founders has stated these requirements and words to be used? in which book or document is it listed? The wedding vow - "we all verily abide by the will of God" (i.e. inna kullun li'Llah radiyyun [ms] inna kullun li'Llah radiyyaat [f]) - is by the Bab and appears in the Persian Bayan. cheers, Nima |