ktheory

In the aftermath of the horrible tragedies of 11 September, JRIC, hereafter referred to by his more common name, Goldstein, teamed up with the spiritual descendants of Ahmad Sohrab and Julie Chanler (And you can guess who they are. Hint, look for them in New Zealand), and decided to wreak havoc upon the Guardianette of the Faith of Effendi and from there to topple the entire wholly edifice upon which the AO is built. They did so by hiring disaffected Baha'i computer nerd youth, who, instead of going to Green Acre (a tv show?) to learn insipid Baha'i songs, sat up all night in computer nerd chat rooms and put together the MGV, the Most Great Virus.

But the question was, where to plant this virus where it could do the most harm? Sure, it would be fun to infect the zombies on Belief Net, the morons on Bahai Discuss, or one or two of most obnoxious people on TRB (but then they'd might have to, never mind), not all of whom are Baha'is, by the way, but such attacks could not guarantee the wholesale taking down of AO-Net. So, they put their great minds together and asked themselves the following questions:

1. Who in the AO spends the most time on line?

2. Who in the AO visits every single Baha'i site in the net at least once every 19 days?

3. Who in the AO has an email relationship with every single Baha'i at the rank of Assistant to an Auxilary Board member and above who even has a Commodore 64?

The first answer was Robert Henderson. But then, like a man hole cover being dropped from an airplane, it hit them. They all began to chant, quietly, and then louder and louder, Susan, Susan, Susan, SUSAN, SUSAN. After wiping themselves off, they sent her a post, ostensibly for her BS list. The post had an innoccuous title:

Revelation and Reform: A Modest Proposal for the Burning of All Ruhi Books and Replacing Them With the Works of Scot Adams

They sent it to her list and cc'd her at her 71 email accounts. It worked. She bit on the forbidden bait and her email became infected. Unbeknownsteth to her, her email tool became like David's slingshot, aimed right at the gonads of the email accounts of the members of the UHJ, the Countless Counsellors, their Ominspresent Associates, their assinine assistants, and their assinine assistants' assistants. Soon, the cyber structure of the AO began to collapse as the virus ravaged the World Computer Centre, deleting files, stealing passwords, and sending copies of itself to all the National Assemblies and to thousands of LSA's, both real and imagined.

However, this seeming victory for the forces of the Evil Doer was just a shibboleth or a chimera, or something like that. Soon, the virus was remedied by nerds in good standing. The final victory was conslidated with the establishment of a new fund to restore the IT infrastructure of the Faith in Haifa.