“Any questions?”
The room was so silent I could hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. Who would be the first to speak? Nobody seemed to want to do it. They exchanged glances, worried looks. Fine. I slumped down in my chair avoiding eye contact with everyone. I felt like shit. Just recapping made me want to start screaming and never stop. God, did I really almost have sex with Cherry? I did have sex with Edward. This was a new record for me. I should start a club; the people who’ve had sex with Anita club. There’d be plenty of members: Jean-Claude, Richard, Micah, Edward; Cherry, Nathaniel and Jason could be honorary members. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.
“Anita.” Nathaniel nudged my knees with the top of his head. He’d left his place to sit at my feet. I raised my head enough to meet his lavender eyes. “It’s not your fault.”
“What isn’t?” I sniffled.
“None of this.” He was solemn. “What’s happened was beyond your control. Don’t blame yourself for any of it.”
For some reason that angered me. “And what the fuck would you know about it? You weren’t there. Some comfort you all are.” I stood abruptly and stalked out of the room. Not one of them came after me. Good. I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of my outburst. I knew I’d been out of line, but I was so out of it, it wasn’t even remotely funny. They’d forgive me. They always did.
What I needed was time alone to think. Trusting the gang to let me be, I went to the bedroom to get my weapons and overnight bag. I saw no one as I exited the Circus and got into my jeep. The drive home was as quiet and peaceful. I was relieved to pull into my driveway and see no other vehicles. The inside of the house was just the way I left it. First things first. I started a pot of coffee and headed for the bathroom. I didn’t even glance at the mirror; I didn’t want to know if my outside matched my inside. A tray of new shampoos and soaps sat on the edge of the tub. It’s been a present from Jean-Claude last week. He knew better than to get bubble bath and such for my place. That sort of thing was more appropriately used at the Circus.
I ran the water just this side of too hot and stripped off my clothing. The Firestar went on the back of the toilet after I locked the door. A girl could never be too careful. I stepped into the steaming shower and relaxed for the first time in days. The water felt wonderful on my tired skin. I fought the urge to scrub myself raw trying to erase my recent sexual escapades. I settled for clean. Why had I stopped the birth control pills? That was the million-dollar question. Logically, since I wasn’t sleeping with Richard anymore, there shouldn’t have been anything to worry about. Micah was “fixed” or so he put it and if a 400-year-old vampire was still virile, I’d eat something icky. Nathaniel was my pomme de sang of sorts but we didn’t have actual intercourse. I would have never thought to stay on the pills just in case. Who knew I’d sleep with Edward?
When I was done beating myself up, I rinsed off and turned off the water. I stood dripping for a moment before reaching for a towel. Suddenly I had the urge to get out of the house. In record time I dressed: black jeans, black polo shirt, jogging socks, black Nikes. Yeah, I was in a great mood. I added my leather jacket to cover the shoulder holster and gun. My shopping list was on the counter, as good an excuse as any to be out. I poured a cup of coffee to go and went. My jeep was one of the only cars on the road at one in the morning. People had better things to do tonight than leave the house, I guessed. I pulled into the nearest 24-hour grocery store. Inside I grabbed one of those little baskets. I got coffee, bagels, milk, bananas, and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. On a whim, I swung by the pharmacy section and eyed the home pregnancy tests. Almost without meaning to, I picked one up and added it to my groceries. In the 10-items or fewer line I read the cover on a tabloid magazine while the checker rang up my purchases.
“Good luck,” she told me as she bagged everything. I looked at her puzzled. “The test. Good luck,” she said. I managed a weak smile. I handed her my money and received my change. “Have a great night now.”
“Yeah. You too.” I gathered my bag and did my best not to run like hell out of there. I don’t remember getting home, which was probably not good. Making sure the door was locked with every lock on it, I put away the food and took the EPT into the bedroom. The instructions said to use the test after you were late or missed your period. It was too soon for me to use it, so I put it in the bathroom for safekeeping. I prayed as hard as I could that I wouldn’t have to actually have to open that box.
For the first time in a long while, I was restless and bored. Too much coffee? Nah. All I really wanted to do was call Ronnie and cry on her shoulder. Granted, this was way beyond what my problems usually were, Ronnie would give me sound advice. She’d make me feel better, less guilty, less dirty. Nathaniel had been right though; none of this was my fault. If our theories were right, the Council was in deep shit with me at least. They had no right to fuck with my life like this. Alright, they did have some right, but nowhere near the level they’d taken the game to. I swore that despite what Jean-Claude said I’d slaughter the first of Belle Morte’s people to step into my sight. Hell, if Edward was up to it we could go after the Council itself. On second thought, maybe not. Wouldn’t want to start a major war. But it would be nice to see them all dead for good. It’d make my life a whole lot easier.
The phone on my nightstand rang and scared me silly. I hoped it was Dolph, needing me to come down to a crime scene. “Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Nathaniel. I wanted to make sure you hadn’t left.”
“Left where?”
“The country, the planet. You seemed very upset.”
That was an understatement. “I’m still here, Nathaniel. What’s up?”
He blew out a breath. “I think something’s wrong with the vampires. They’re acting stranger than usual.”
Oh, no. “Stranger how?”
Nathaniel seemed to struggle for the right words. “They’re talking in French a lot, and when they talk English, it’s way formal.”
“Who’s they?” I asked.
“Jean-Claude and Asher. None of the other vamps are here.”
“How’s everyone else acting?”
“Edward’s still not Edward. The other weres and I feel like something’s going on.” He cleared his throat and I could hear him talking to someone.
“Nathaniel?” He didn’t answer for a moment and my heart was in my throat.
“I’m here. That was Richard. He wants to know if we can come to your house.”
I sighed. So much for alone time. But if the vampires were creeping everyone out, better to be prepared. “Who all is we?”
“Like I said, me, Jason, Cherry, Zane, Richard, and Micah. Please, Anita?”
“Yes. But aren’t Jean-Claude and Asher going to be suspicious of you all leaving?”
“No. I’ll tell them it’s pard business and that we’re keeping you company for a while.”
“Fine. Get here as soon as you can. Call me if anything happens in the meantime, okay?”
“Okay. Bye.” He hung up. I took a deep breath and prayed that I’d wake up soon from this never-ending nightmare.
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