Cooking with the Mazoku…

       Written by: jaded girl ^^

 

Scenario: The 5 Leaders of Darkness of Shabranigudo are really hungry… but they’ve given their minions an off, so they’re stuck with once another with nothing to eat…

 

Xelas: *stomach is rumbling* I’m really, really hungry, you guys!!!

Garv: You think you’re the only one suffering?!

Graushaila: Why don’t you just cook for us, sister dear, since you’re the girl!

Xelas: Why not let Dolphin do it! She’s also a girl!

Dolphin: Just tell me if all of you want to die early and I’ll definitely cook for you!

Fibrizo: I’m really hungry…maybe we can cook our own food!

Xelas: Are you crazy?! I might cut myself with the knife!

Graushaila: NO! The stove is too hot to handle! I can’t take that!

Dolphin: SEAFOOD! SEAFOOD! SEAFOOD!

Garv: Just don’t cook any dragon, okay?

Xelas: Nice dish! Okay, let’s cook DRAGON STEW!

Garv: WHAT?!

Dolphin: SEA DRAGON! I’LL GO GET A SEA DRAGON!!!

Fibrizo: I want pasta!!!!!

Graushaila: Ick! Dragon Stew?! Are you nuts?! Why not Iced Lollies?

Fibrizo: *ridiculous look* Iced Lollies for lunch?! Are you nuts?!

Graushaila: Hey, I like them!

Xelas: It will melt by the time we eat it. Let’s go for Dragon Stew!

Dolphin: *cheerfully* Yay!!! Dragon Stew!

Garv: Hold on a minute, you girls! There’s no way I’m eating that!

Fibrizo: Then don’t eat!

Garv: Why you twerp…

Fibrizo: Stop it, you turd! If you keep on making stupid comments, you’ll be the main ingredient for Dragon Stew!

Graushaila: I DON’T WANT NO DRAGON STEW!!!

***

Scenario: The Kitchen…

 

Dolphin: *enters with the slaughtered sea dragon* Here you go!!! *puts it down on the kitchen counter* I also cleaned it on the way.

Xelas: *with a huge butcher’s knife* I think this knife won’t do…

Fibrizo: Hey, Garv! Maybe you could use your sword to cut this thing into cubes!

Garv: No! That’s a Dragon! I’m the Chaos Dragon! We are dragons! I can’t do that! It’d be cannibalism!

Dolphin: Hey, I’m a sea creature. That’s a sea dragon. We are sea creatures. I’ll be eating it too!

Garv: Hah! Coz you’re crazy!

Fibrizo: Enough, the two of you! I’m already starving here! Let’s get on with it!

Graushaila: *mutter, mutter, mutter…*

Xelas: If you don’t wanna do it, I’ll cube it myself! *grabs Garv’s big sword and begins to cube the huge dragon in a violent manner, messing up the place and bits and pieces of the dragon flying around.*

Garv, Graushaila, Fibrizo & Dolphin: How unladylike…

Xelas: *finished* Okay! There! Now what about the sauce…

Dolphin: DRAGON BLOOD!

Fibrizo: Cool! I’d like that!

Graushaila: I thought you want to eat pasta…

Fibrizo: I do! But I think Dragon Stew is better!

Graushaila: Hey, guys, can’t we just have pasta?

Dolphin, Xelas & Fibrizo: NO!

Graushaila: Aw, c’mon?! I can’t eat that hot thing!?

Xelas: Then freeze it, stupid!

Graushaila *struck* what did you just call me?

Xelas: Stupid!

Graushaila: I ain’t! You are!

Xelas: *lets go of the Garv’s sword and grabs the butcher’s knife again* Damn you! You’re so spoiled! You always want things your way!!!

Graushaila: Haha! Look who’s talking!

Xelas: *chases Graushaila around with the knife*

Dolphin:  Okay, while they’re chasing each other, let’s get on with the sauce! *brings out 10 buckets of dragon blood*

Garv: Where did you get the blood?

Dolphin: I cleaned the dragon, remember? While doing so, I extracted all the blood! We just have to add some cornstarch and spices to it while simmering it on low fire.

Fibrizo: Cornstarch? What for?

Dolphin: To make it rich.

Fibrizo & Garv: Oh…

Xelas: *returns* So, what’s going on?
Dolphin: I’m just preparing the sauce.

Graushaila: Hey, you forgot to measure the quantity! We are only 5 & the dragon is too big! We can’t finish all of those!

Xelas: We can always reheat it for later, right? Besides, dragon meat takes months to spoil.

Fibrizo: Hehehehe…and Graushaila can freeze it!

Graushaila: *mutter, mutter, mutter…*

Garv: Reheated food?! YUCK!

Fibrizo: You have lots of complaints!

Xelas: So, you know how to cook Dragon, huh? *to Dolphin while getting the saucepans and the casseroles.*

Graushaila: Let’s scram, Fibby & Garv. Let’s leave all the cooking to the ladies.

Xelas & Dolphin: *glare*

Xelas: You leave us here, you don’t get any!

Fibrizo: *sweat* Okay, okay, okay! *goes to the stove* What do you want me to do? Can I light the fire and do the mixing?

Xelas: No, I’ll do that. Maybe you can set the table.

Graushaila: I’ll just clean up this mess…

Garv: Man! I’ll just see if there are more edible things for me to eat! *going to the door*

Xelas: If you are not going to eat our Dragon Stew, it’ll be an insult! You want me to tell on mom?

Garv: *stops and then faces them with a silly smile* Okay, sister dears, that’s a man’s job! Give the casserole to me! *goes to them*

Dolphin: And then suddenly, you’re helping… *handing the casserole to Garv* You can start by boiling the meat.

Garv: Yeah, yeah…

Graushaila: Yuck! Now I have to clean myself up!

Xelas: You’re dirty to begin with…

Graushaila: Hmf! *heading to the garbage can with a big garbage bag filled with trash*

Dolphin: *putting pepper on the saucepan where the blood is* uh-oh… haa…ha…ha…HACHOO!!!

Xelas: *mortified* HEY! YOU JUST SNEEZED ON THE SAUCE!

Dolphin: Uh…no?

Xelas: Yes, you did!

Dolphin: *smiles* yeah, so what?

Xelas: Now it’s contaminated!

Dolphin: It’s just me, Xelas!

Xelas: Ick! You make me sick!

Dolphin: You’re spraying your saliva all over me and the sauce!

Garv: Will you stop fighting!?

Xelas & Dolphin: SHE STARTED IT!

Fibrizo: *enters* Where are the plates?

Graushaila: Well don’t ask me!