The Wheel
Disclaimers: See part one.
Part Eight
Angel's gaze dropped back to his hands and a silence stretched between them. "'I never forgot,'" he whispered. "For some reason I'm not as surprised. She…was near death, after all. 'The soul never forgets.'" He sighed. "But you have no clue what I'm talking about. You told me your story, and I suppose I owe you the same.
"It was when Buffy came to see me over Thanksgiving. Did Buffy…ever tell you about the demon that attacked us?"
"She didn't say much about seeing you," Willow said, unsure of how Angel would react.
Angel just nodded, though, as if he'd expected as much. "Well, to explain…Buffy didn't just visit for five minutes. She was there for five minutes and a day…except the day didn't happen."
To say that Willow was confused would have been an over-simplification. "What…didn't happen?"
Angel leaned back on the couch and did not meet her gaze. "A demon crashed through the window while we were talking. The first time - we fought it but it got away. We tracked it into the sewers. I caught up with it, fought it, thought I killed it…and when I stabbed it some of its blood mixed with mine. It made me human."
Willow gasped and Angel's gaze met her own. "Huh?" she squeaked, flustered by Angel's revelation. "I mean…what?"
Angel smiled a touch bitterly. "You heard me," he said softly. "It was real. Heartbeat, hunger, reflection… Do you have any idea how strange it is to suddenly see yourself after 200 years?"
"And you were with Buffy," Willow said in understanding.
Angel just nodded.
"So what happened?" At Angel's odd look, she tried to amend her statement. "I mean…uh, that is…what went wrong?"
"The demon didn't die," Angel said after a moment. "I tried to kill it for real, but I was too weak…. I found out Buffy would die when the End of Days came. So I asked the Oracles to turn back the day so that I could kill the demon before it made me human. And…that was that."
A silence stretched between them again. "but…Buffy did die in the End of Days," Willow said after a moment.
"Exactly."
"So you've been doubting your decision."
Again Angel nodded. "If she was meant to die anyway…couldn't we have had those several months of happiness together?"
"Maybe not," Willow said. "Maybe if you'd been human you'd both have been killed. We've got a big battle coming, and we're going to need you. The world needs you. Where will we be if you aren't there to fight?"
Angel smiled very slightly then. "Same to you," he said.
"What?"
"Maybe you're needed when all this goes down, too."
"Me?" Willow squeaked. "But Tara…"
"Isn't used to working with this group," Angel interrupted. "Am I right in assuming that she was not used to doing magic in…a combat situation?" At Willow's nod, Angel continued. "You're a powerful witch, Willow. You've done a lot of good. You restored my soul. So don't doubt your importance. Don't regret that you lived."
Willow nodded. "Will you do the same for me?"
"What's that?"
"No regrets, Angel."
It was a big thing to ask and for a moment Angel did not reply. But regrets got in the way of fighting and there was some major fighting ahead.
Finally Angel answered as best he could. "Only small ones," he said.
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