The Wheel
Book Three: The Fool
by Cynamin

It was two days after Buffy’s return before Riley showed up at the mansion. Everyone else had been in and out of the place several times, but Riley had other obligations he couldn’t get away from. When the battle was over and Sunnydale returned to normal – or as normal as it ever was – the Initiative scientists returned and Riley was the only one in the position to tell them what had

happenedStanding outside the mansion, Riley took a deep breath. He couldn’t understand why he was so nervous. He’d spoken to Willow over the phone since the battle she’d called him to inform him of Buffy’s ‘return.’ He hadn’t yet gotten to speak to Buffy, though. Maybe that’s what was making him so nervous. Or maybe he was feeling like this because he didn’t quite believe what Willow had told

him.Riley’s problem lay in several places. One was simply that Buffy had died over two weeks ago. He’d been very shaken up about it. And he was still mourning her, but the worst of the pain had passed by the necessity of action. Strange things happened in Sunnydale, but going to talk to Buffy *now*, after everything, just felt beyond bizarre. It was…wrong.

And there was another problem, one that Riley was trying to ignore. Facing the mansion door, though, he had to face this fact as well. There was nothing at all that Riley could have done to bring Buffy back to life. It had taken her vampire ex-boyfriend and some mystical connection to do that. Riley didn’t even pretend to understand.

With a sigh, Riley knocked on the mansion’s door.

It took a second before someone answered. The man who stood on the other side of the door wasn’t one that Riley had gotten to know - Angel’s British friend. He stood aside when he recognized Riley and allowed him into the mansion. “She’s in the garden,” he said, closing the door behind him. He pointed in the appropriate direction.

Riley nodded his thanks and followed the older man’s directions. Walking through the sunlit main room, Riley braced himself for what he would see. He had no idea how he’d react.

Stepping outside and into the garden, he spotted her quickly. She sat on the edge of the old, stone fountain, the sunlight making her blond hair glow. Her head was tilted up slightly so that the sunlight fell full on her face. She looked positively angelic, and Riley couldn’t help but gasp.

Buffy turned to see who was there. “Riley,” she acknowledged, smiling slightly.

“Buffy,” Riley whispered back. He was frozen in shock, never mind that he’d been told Buffy was back. It was one of those things you had to see to believe.

She smiled at him tolerantly. “Come, sit down,” she requested, holding out her hand to him.

Riley came and sat next to her in silence. He hesitated for a second, then placed his hand on top of hers. Buffy looked at it for a second, then tilted her head back up towards the sunlight.

“Have you ever really taken the time to enjoy a moment?” she asked softly.

Riley didn’t know how she wanted him to reply to that, so he said nothing.

“I never did either, before.” She sighed. Glancing at Riley, she looked a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I’m being weird, aren’t

I?”“This whole situation is weird,” Riley replied softly.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said again, but they both knew it would take a whole lot more than ‘sorry’ to make the situation comfortable. More than likely it never would be.

“So,” Riley said after an uncomfortable silence, “what happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy replied.

The silence continued to stretch between them. “I’ve lost you, haven’t I?” Riley said, looking at the sky instead of at her.

“What?” Buffy asked in surprise.

“I never had you,” Riley clarified. “I think I realized that the moment I saw Angel. You never even mentioned him, but I saw him after you…died. And I think…I think there was something between the two of you that you and I could never duplicate.”

“I…” Buffy faltered. “Well.”

“Yeah,” Riley said back.

“You know, it’s not like it’s ever been easy between Angel and I,” Buffy said after a long moment.

“If it’s worth having, it’s worth working for,” Riley replied.

Buffy tore her gaze away from the sky and looked at him in surprise. “You’re being remarkably…understanding about this.”

“I don’t mean to sound corny, but I saw you in his eyes,” Riley explained. “Somehow, I know you love him, not me. I love you, and I know you *like* me, but you have to decide what it is you want. On one hand you’ve got a normal guy who loves you, and on the other a vampire whose feelings you return with your whole heart.” It pained Riley to say it, but he knew it was the truth.

The silence stretched between them again. Buffy looked up at the sky and sighed. “Do you know that Angel gave up the chance to see sunlight again – to be human – twice, so that I could live? He could have been human.” She smiled to herself. “If he can sacrifice his life for mine…well, then the daylight isn’t so big a thing for me to give up in comparison.”

Her final decision hurt less than Riley expected it to. Maybe that’s because he has already said goodbye to her in his heart. “I think you made the right choice,” he said.

“Thank you, Riley,” she said sincerely, standing. She met his eyes for a moment, then gave him a gentle kiss. “Thank you for everything.” She smiled at him openly, then walked back into the mansion.

Riley sat there, watching her leave and feeling the empty space she left behind. He could still feel her lips on his and smiled. “No, Buffy,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

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