The Wheel
Book One: The Hanged One
by Cynamin

The gray felt familiar now, like an old enemy. It stretched in endless monotony, broken only by the path beneath Angel's feet. At times it seemed like cement, others cobblestone, but it was always the same gray as the mists around it. Angel had the strangest fear that it was leeching color from him as well and he would soon be as gray as everything else.

Buffy though…she was the only spot of color in this world. She was vibrant and shining, too brilliant to be dimmed by even the darkest night. She was the Slayer - even the darkness she fought failed to dim her brilliance. Not even death….

Angel's unbeating heart clenched in sudden despair, and he closed his eyes as he fought against it. For a moment he had forgotten forgotten the pain that would always plague him, forgotten the loneliness, forgotten that the one who walked beside him here was little more than a ghost. He felt himself slipping away and didn't care.

"Angel!" Buffy's hands were harsh on his shoulders and he gasped as his eyes snapped open. He shook his head furiously. She was dead. She was dead….

The gray seemed to now be oppressive and dark. "Don't!" she snapped at him. "Don't become lost on my account. The world needs you. I need you. I need to know you're okay."

"But you're dead," Angel whispered. He felt his cheeks grow damp. A soul's tears….

"Angel," Buffy whispered sadly. She touched the tears resting on his cheeks. "Don't cry for me," she begged.

"I always will," he replied. "You were supposed to have a normal life. A long life." He'd given up everything for that.

"Without you?" Buffy asked softly.

Angel nodded.

"But I never wanted that. I'd rather have a year of happiness with you than a lifetime of loneliness without you." As Angel began to sink further into despair, thinking of what they could have had, Buffy gently held his face in her hands. "I don't say this to make you regret what you did. It's just that…don't you think we're rewarded in the end?"

"Not me," Angel replied in a barely audible whisper.

"Especially you," Buffy said. "No one should have to live with the pain you have. You didn't have to fight - you had more of a choice than I did. But you fought. If anyone deserves some beauty and happiness in the end, it's you."

"You are that beauty and happiness," Angel replied.

Buffy smiled sadly. "Maybe," she whispered. Still holding his head, she leaned forward and caught his lips with her own. It overwhelmed him in an entirely new way. Souls touching, he could feel the love that they shared, the love that she held for him. He returned it - he always had - but now he could express it in a new way. *I love you* went unspoken, but was heard nonetheless.

They broke away and Angel saw that love reflected in Buffy's eyes. She was smiling. "You still…?" Angel asked in surprise.

"Always," Buffy replied.

Angel blinked as if in a daze. They gray was changed, glowing as if lit by sunlight. The scent of flowers and growth hung in the air, welcoming and warm. It was no longer the absence of color, but the potential for all color. There was an air of contentment all around them. A moment ago this place had perfectly reflected the anguish he'd held in his heart. Now it shown with the love and joy that had replaced that sadness. Angel looked at Buffy in surprise and wonder.

She smiled. "Love transforms," was all she said.

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