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And this one is for the SEXY guy I met at South Center Mall (He didn't even know I was attracted to him while we talked. Keep in mind this is a total stranger to me.)
[Webmistress Note: Becca's letters will be in red.]
Okay Mr. X,
Remember that chick you gave your email to at the mall? I had that red plaid mini skirt on. Sunglasses. Knee high leather boots. Well. Procrastination isn't exactly my style, as my signature suggests. So here I am writing you already.
I wanted to stop you in the middle of your questionaire and had my way with you in my car outside. I don't even know at what point in your speech my labido clicked on. You have a clever wit. Nice, ever so lovely package you were. God. And I don't even know your name. If you ever want a girl to talk dirty to you, please consider me. I can be delightfully descriptive.
Here's my home phone #: (***)***-****.
Don't worry, I am not looking for a "boyfriend". I am currently at lust right now. Lust is really under-rated. I highly recommend letting your sexuality flow. Go ahead at just allow yourself be completely horny. Outright. Don't hold back your sexual intentions from this little girly.
Permission granted.
He responds....
Crazy, at least I know where you're coming from. Your
number is in my book. I like your email. Keep up with the creative writing.
X
And here is ME again....
So. What would I have to write to get YOUR home number. Hmmmm. I know that I have to gently coax you. All non-threatening like. Lay out my sweetest lures. Display my soft affections like a fresh little school girl smitten with puppy love. I pout, with my loose lips all mooshy. What can I do for
you, my fair Mr. X? How can I ask you sweet enough for your home number? I can open my pouch of magic for you, if you just whisper to me your wishes. My best friend Damon found my friendship with a game of Questions. I ask you 5, you ask me.
MyTurn!MyTurn!MyTurn!MyTurn!
1. Where is your favorite place to be alone?
2. Name 3 famous people that you identify with, and the short version how.
3. If you had to wear something furry, where would you hang it, and why there?
4. Tell me something you've done recently that was daring or exciting.
5. What is your impression of me so far?
[Webmistress Note: The following was forwarded to Emorog, and I think I'm missing a response from Priest.]
This is the mall boy I like. I am trying out my seduction skills on him. Don't worry, I am not being a tease. I fully mean to live up to all my intentions for this guy, (and then some). Sent this morning, Jan 20th......
Priest.
Mmmyeah. Okay. I want you to know how MUCH I loved your last email. I was hoping I wasn't too much of a mouthful for you. If you never wrote back I had to assume that you had another thing going. So sad. I have so many things I would've liked to show you. I could hardly contain myself waiting for your response. Thought about many different scenarios of seeing you again... but it was your turn to write me. Couldn't push it, even though my body urges me so. Oh so many secrets you have. Each secret I will try to massage from you. If you invite me. Priest, yeah.
I like your details.
So nice to meet you Father X. I don't believe we've met. I am the lovely sister Rebecca Areola from the dairy state and I would love to model all my delightfully blasphemous "habits" for you. Here. Let me display my soft wide tongue so you can mount your host upon it.
Woe. How's that for roll playing?
You have five questions to answer yourself now. You have one day.
So, without further ado, here are The Sister's answers:
>1. Where is your favorite place to be alone?
My car. I put on an act for other drivers on the highway, applying lip gloss, practicing my winks and lurid mouth movements. My car is a Geo Metro, so not much for balls. But that little bugger and I? We match. I have sentimental value on it's every dent. I know her, she knows me.
>2. Name 3 famous people that you identify with, and the short version how.
Of course people identify with their own circle of friends best. I like meeting people. I like to see what other people have figured out already. But I also like to put on a good Gary Oldman attitude if the mood hits me. Oldman in the Professional. Fuck me now. Have you seen that silly old 80s movie called Real Genius? Well, I relate to the character known as Jordan. She is hyper, sexy like a busty little auto mechanic, does magical unusual things with her hands, and wears lip gloss as opposed to lipstick. Then I relate to the sex in the voice of Garbage.
>3. If you had to wear something furry, where would you hang it, and why there?
Actually, I like your answer. Ohhhh furry undies. Rabbit pelt on the INSIDE. And I almost bought a shag carpet on Sunday so I could have that full body furry feeling.
>4. Tell me something you've done recently that was daring or exciting.
I just stole a sign from the Citco station by my apartment, it says: SMILE :-) You're currently being monitored by a servalience camera. I put the sign on my bedroom wall. And some day, my bedroom will have a real servalence camera. You can get them disguised as a smoke detector or a doorbell. COOL!
>5. What is your impression of me so far?
Since all I really know about you is from your last email, here's my comments...
[Priest's answers to the same questions, from the theoretical "missing email link."]
1. The woods, or a certain park on Queen Anne that overlooks the city.
Cool, you like the outdoors. I love to camp. I got a little Ranger Rick in my blood, so one day I bought $300 of camping gear. I use the tent as my bed right now. (NO SHIT. It's really a kick in the pants, you should see it!) I got really stoned one night and bent the fuck out of one pole trying to get it in the wrong loophole, and you gotta KNOW YOUR HOLES or you risk warping
your poll.
Famous people:
1. John Cusak
John and his sister Joan went to a college in my home state
of Wisconsin. A University in Appleton. John's coolest part in my opinion was Better Off Dead, Joan's was Hero.
2. Robert DeNiro
I like DeNiro, but I haven't followed his performances as
much as I would like. My best friend in California (Damon) says that he would like to get DeNiro to play him in his autobiography. I would get Meg Ryan to play me.
3. Johnny Depp or Sean Penn
Depp is cool. Not just a pretty face. I just saw a stunning
performance of Penn in a terrible movie: Hurly Burly. But his acting, separate from the plot, was pretty badass.
Draw your own conclusions...
Hey, can I draw you? I am a professional 3D modeler, animator and concept artist for a computer game company. We're working on this top scrolling D&D type game called [...]. Maybe you've heard of it. Anyway, I REALLY CAN draw you like I know what I am doing. I could transfer the image to scratchboard if you like. Fuck, who am I kidding. I would just like to get you in front of my desperately horny felt tip pen and make some meaningful strokes....
3.What kind of question is that? I would wear furry underwear of course!
Yeah! Tell it like it IS!
4. Do you expect this one to involve sex?
Everything is sex to me, but you are free to answer as you
please. No pressure.
5. Your bluntness makes people evaluate how they really feel. You make people question everything they have taken for granted their entire lives and probably don't' swallow anything without developing a very personal opinion on it first. Life is the biggest evaluation. Now, you can always study life through
philosophy, and predictions make great fantasies, but I prefer to study life more hands-on. You know, so I can be there when it's all happening.
Interactive living. What a concept.
You have one day.
I like your urgency. I know what urgency feels like, believe me. Isn't it nice to know that I am ready to GO whenever you please?
New Questions:
1. What would you like me to roll play for you?
2. What would you rather be doing right now?
3. (A question inspired by MIB) What do you like to do by yourself at night?
4. What kind of undies do you like to see girls wear? (Velvet, corset, strapless, pasties, leather, lace, bustier or maybe something weird....)
5. What could you show me that you are really proud of?
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