September 9, 1999 |
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(Jamison and AL are the same person- in case you didn't know) Just got back from Alabama two days ago. Jamison's Mom is a cuddly person. Jolly, and only wants to feed you her loving hospitality. She has a lovely new house in a part of town that Michael Jordan has a house in too. I met Jamison's sister Amethyst too. She has the most stunning blue eyes and likes to give hugs. Unfortunately, she is married to a bitter young man she knew from highschool. Her husband Dirk doesn't let her have male friends, and is forcing her to get pregnant right away. He keeps a shotgun under their bed and lives in a trailer just outside the military base. Dirk got really drunk one night and puked in the sink. But, that's excepted because everyone drank heavily down there. While drunk, oh was Dirk ever going on and on about how Democrats are ruining the US . According to him, and most other Alabama people, Reagan was the best president America ever had. (Whatever Dirk- now go puke in the sink again.) Jamison looked REALLY hot in his military formals for the wedding Saturday afternoon. (double meaning) Literally, he was sweating buckets. It was about 90 degrees on Saturday. But you should have seen him in that black bowtie, the green lapels decorated with shiney medals and his name patch. He was the Best Man, and he kept the rings on his pinky finger. After the vows, the bride and groom had to walk under 6 swords held by military friends. It was kinda classy seeing them pass below the swords on their way out of the church. We blew bubbles instead of throwing rice. Jamison missed the garder and the bride bouquette fell on the parking lot. Alabama was humid, sundried and quaint. No one has ever heard of a brat, rhuebarb, cheese curds, vegetarian hotdogs, sushi or vegans. They tended to like luxury cars more than the rest of the country. Everyone had Jamison's accent. I got a door opened for me everywhere. I was always addressed as Ma'am, even by other ladies. Alabama women are quite beautiful. They tended to have graceful bodies, blonde hair and blue eyes. But Alabama woman generally were only interested in getting married and raising kids, so single Alabama beauties were hard to find. Alabama men never interrupted me. They never let me pay for my meals. But I hardly ever saw an attractive man down there. Jamison pretty much cornered the market for handsome men. You can't buy alcohol on Sunday in Alabama. It's the law. But boy did that state ever have extraordinary butterflies and hummingbirds! Jamison showed me 2 sunsets that made my jaw drop. And the moths were the size of my hand. I also met his great Aunt Dora and both his grandmothers. His granny Barry was 6 feet tall and used to look like a model. Now she is a sweet old lady who lives alone. She almost tried to recruit us into the Christian cult while we were visiting her house. Jamison changed the subject in time. His Grandma on his Mom's side was kind of senile. She didn't mind eating with food falling out of her mouth. I caught her picking her nose. But eh. Nose picking never really bothered me much. Overall I had a GREAT time. Jamison was tender and always kept me entertained. I owe him a tour of Wisconsin now. |
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