Excerpt: -
Wisdom from Drunks
by
A. MacDarragh B., MD
COPYRIGHT 1998 BY A. MacDARRAGH BURKE, MD
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
No part of this book may be stored in any data retrieval system, translated, photocopied, recorded, reproduced in any way without prior written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief passages for review purposes.
A. MacDarragh Burke, MD,
10645 N. Tatum Blvd., Suite 200-126,
Phoenix, AZ 85028.
DISCLAIMER NOTICE
The Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and a brief excerpt from AA literature are reprinted with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Permission to reprint this material does not mean that A.A. has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication, nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. A.A. is a program of recovery from alcoholism only - use of these excerpts in connection with programs and activities which are patterned after AA. but which address other problems, or in any other A.A. context, does not imply otherwise.
INTRODUCTION
I am now seventy years old and I have been sober and in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous for the past 32 years. Without AA I would be dead long ago and I have the lab results to prove it. When I came into the program I was in liver failure with jaundice, nose-bleeds and a profile of enzyme studies that I had often seen associated with death in about six months.
In spite of myself, AA not only cured my alcoholism but showed me a new way of life, a way of life that has enabled me to live as a productive and happy person; a person who looks at life realistically, and who seeks to be open and honest in all my dealings.
If you told me when I came into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that my life would develop as it has, remember that I was looking at certain death in six months, I would not have believed you and dismissed you as crazy. Yet through no merits of my own but through practicing the AA program, I am booze free, healthy and happy thirty-two years later.
Over my years in AA I must have attended thousands of meetings and at each meeting I was impressed by the profound sayings and thoughts of the members. 'The wisdom of drunks' I call it. This little book is an attempt to bring that wisdom to the many people who are not in AA and who may not even be alcoholics. It seems to me that in today's world we need all the help we can get.
It may be that some of these sayings may strike some people as banal and for that I apologize. I have found over the years that one man's banality is another man's wisdom.
In trying to present this material sensibly I have decided on the following format:
1] Those items quoted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous are presented in bold type,
2] The quotes from meetings are printed in italics and
3] Any comments I may have are printed in normal type.
The A.A. program worked for me and you don't have to be a drunk to benefit from it.
A. MacD. B.
Excerpt: -
What it is that A.A. does not do.
1] Does not offer initial motivation for recovery of the alcoholic nor tries to persuade anyone to belong to the group.
2] Does not keep archives or clinical records.
3] Does not take part in investigations or sponsorships.
4] Does not join any social agency as consultants although members or groups of A.A. often co-operate with such agencies.
5] Does not try to /control its members.
6] Does not make medical or psychological diagnoses.
7] Does not supply hospital services, nurses, drugs, or any type of medical or psychological treatment.
8] Does not offer religious or spiritual services.
9] Does not take part in propaganda or education about alcohol.
10] Does not supply housing, food, clothes, work, money or any other type of social service or charity.
11] Does not give any type of vocational or domestic advice.
12] Does not accept money for its services or any other type of contribution from sources other than A.A.
On First Coming into the Program
When I came into A.A. all I wanted to do was die.
I would have committed suicide if I had the courage.
In A.A. I felt I came home.
A.A. is a program of hope. Essentially the newcomer is saying, "If they can do it, I can do it.
These people are much too happy to be drunks.
"Why are these people laughing. Don't they recognize that this is serious business and that I have a unique problem?"
Everyone is cordially welcome in A.A. if they have the desire to stop drinking and if they mean business.
I was dying when I came into the program and I was looking forward to the end.
I was terrified.
I don't belong here.
You have to be desperate to do something you have been putting off for years.
"Why are they all laughing and happy?"
I want what they have.
I walked into my first meeting and I was through drinking.
I hid my car two blocks from the A.A. meeting.
I went to my first meeting expecting to find depressed and depressing drunks; instead I found happy and smiling people.
I didn't want to go to A.A. because only drunks went there.
It wasn't suitable for me to go to A.A.
I came into this program kicking and screaming; I had tried everything else first but nothing else worked.
Sit down, shut up and listen.
Few of us came to A.A. willingly; even though our lives were a shambles we would prefer to go on drinking if we could. However, circumstances or our families or a judge forced us to come to our first meeting.
The reactions to the first meeting are as varied as the above comments. I especially liked the remark of an attractive grandmother, who said, " It wasn't suitable for me to go to A.A." Many of us felt like that, even if we were falling down drunks and everybody who had anything to do with us knew it.
This kind of heavy denial is very common to the alcoholic, especially those who are approaching the last stages of their drinking or their lives. To go to a meeting would be to admit that they were indeed drunks and that everything that they had been told was true. To some people Alcoholics Anonymous is a stage below the gutter drunk and they cannot bring themselves to face that.
In my case, I knew about A.A. but, instead of regarding it as something I couldn't face, I looked upon it as a safety net that would be there for me when I couldn't drink anymore. That was how things turned out for me and once I came into the A.A. program I never drank again.
I have often laughed when I saw the look on the face of a newcomer when he is told to "Sit down, shut up and listen." Here he is at his first meeting and already he is being insulted. He may be feeling full of pride and self-justification at having come to his first A.A. meeting only to be met with rudeness. I have seen a few prospects leave at this stage and some do not come back.
This is unfortunate, as the secretary of the meeting was not being intentionally rude; he was just trying to point out that the neophyte had little to contribute. This is especially so if along with his pride the newcomer is full of booze and in that case this is the only way to get through to him.
Admittedly I have seen other secretaries handle the newcomer more tactfully but the message is the same 'The new member is there to learn; he can contribute later when he knows more about alcoholism, the A.A. program and himself.
For most people going to that first meeting is an act of desperation. They know that they are doomed if they go on drinking but they also know that many of their friends have recovered from alcoholism through the A.A. program. They know that the program does not help everybody so they come in the hope that they will be among the lucky and successful ones.
The fact of finding the A.A. meeting a happy place comes a huge surprise to the alcoholic at his first meeting. We usually go to that first meeting depressed and in despair and totally wrapped up in our own misery. Often we feel that these people can't know the degradation that has become our lives and so they can't possibly help. Then we hear the stories of the members and realize that many of them have sunk even further than ourselves. So we feel we have come home as these people have been to the same place we have been and have suffered as we have. They are not spouting theory; they are relating actual experiences and for that reason hope springs from their stories.
We begin to realize why these people are happy. They have slipped the bonds of alcoholism. No wonder they are smiling.
From that moment the determination to become a successful recovering alcoholic is born in the new member as he says to himself "If they can do it; I can do it." The road to sobriety will not be easy but the newcomer now has hope, often for the first time in years.