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Urban Off-Road |
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Who needs a truck?! |
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1983 Pontiac Grand Prix floating the hill on Kentucky Ave. Fort Wayne, IN |
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Welcome to the exciting world of the Urban Off-Roading. Welcome to the exciting world of Urban Off-Roading. Not too many people know about how a vehicle can stand the punishment of off-roading, let alone where to do it. I have pioneered the Urban Baja of Fort Wayne IN. Not in a truck, but in a 91 Pontiac Grand Am. |
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I drove through obstacles such as Alleycross, Trashbashing, Shoppingcart Demolition Derby, Hotel Semi Truck Parking Area Mud Bog, Curb Surfing, and Rail Trailing (or Train Racing) |
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Alley Cross. An all out haul ass run across town avoiding driving in the public streets as much as possible. The challenge comes from skillfully maneuvering about potholes and bad paving and clearing the whoops and dips that will send you airborne across intersecting public streets. Take care not to excessively bottom out, as it will result in crooked bumpers and busted motor mounts. A car with good ground clearance best handles these obstacles |
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Score some point by taking out a few Trash containers. This is Trashbashing. Run over trash cans as you narrowly miss utility poles and parked cars to get the good ones. Try and hit the difficult ones while keeping headlights, bumpers, etc. intact. Be careful not to catch one under the car, or a fire may result a few blocks down the way. The best time to go Trash Bashing is the night after Trash Day after garbage men and the wind have left them strewn about. |
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Follow your favorite alley that leads to a place such as Wal*Mart. Now for something more difficult than running over garbage cans. Time for some Shopping Cart Demolition Derby. Line up a cart against your front bumper. A car with a straight bumper works best. Find a target such as a light pole, another cart, or the unexpecting parked car. Give yourself plenty of room to zoom along while concentrating on keeping the cart straight. At the last moment, hit the brake to clear the cart, and turn quickly to avoid following the cart into its path of destruction. |
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After Wal*Mart security personnel have run you out of the place, move along down to the hotels by the interstate. Find one of the cheaper Dollar Inns and pull up into the Semi Truck parking area. Look at all the green grass and patchy gravel as the rain pours outside. This calls for donut peelin' e-brake pullin' action. A FWD car like the grand am is fairly maneuverable with its e-brake and the ability to reverse donut quite nicely. just watch out for the potholes that will swallow a tire and bust a brake line. Be aware of nearby 4x4's to lend a tow. A rear driven V-8 powered car like an older Grand prix |
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has plenty of balls to sling mud forever, and the weight do bust a slide easily. A 4WD such a s a Subaru does excellent because of the traction provided by all wheels. Maneuvering shares all the tricks of both a FWD and a RWD. Just don't over estimate your traction or you may end up in a puddle up to your car's trunk lid. You would be surprised how long the spare tire well will hold water. It's a good idea to have tow and recovery on your insurance. |
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Coming across a train can slow you down. Take a turn off the road and follow the tracks. Usually there is enough room to try and match speed with a train. The challenge comes from controlling the car at high speed across bumpy grass that will throw you into the ceiling if you don't have the seatbelt on. You might even score some nifty junk like the time I found a pair of 14" rims that would fit on the '77 Mercury Bobcat Wagon being driven at the time. |
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Go find yourself some boofy tires for Curb surfing. Ever go to the mall at Christmas and find that instead of waiting in line like everyone else, it looked much faster to just skip the curb ad drive through the grass? Hell of a shortcut! A Ford Ranger is fairly good for this, but an Oldsmobile Calais with coil spring boosters does just as good. |
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Not all the fun is in the city. Some county roads offer neat-o railroad crossings that will send a loaded 87 Cavalier Wagon sailing into the sunset. My very first Baja Adventure was when I drove an 86 Oldsmobile Calais into a cornfield for a half hour. I got stuck and lost my exhaust as I was towed out backward. I delivered newspapers in the dead of winter, and i have been known to drive through people's yards and run over their driveway reflectors. I have even chased deer so they don't run out in front of me ever again. An old railroad that has been torn out can lead somewhere like the Wolcottville Sand Pits. |
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Damn near every car I have had have been back there. I even tore ass in my Subaru around my friend's back yard. |
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