BANANACUE
REPUBLIC
Vol I, No. 14
Dec 08, 2004

 
 
 attitudes by H. A. de Veyra

CONTENTS 


Website:
100plus1

Submitting to the Submissive in Us
(Disclaimer: Only for the open-minded and kinky. Read at your own risk or pleasure)

Sometimes, when I can't sleep at night, I surf the internet and read others' blogs (short for web log). A blog is the latest trend in journal writing, it's a little exhibitionist because you post it out there for everyone to see, well, if anyone cares to read it which no one really does. Blogging my journal is more of a convenience because I don't have to carry a notebook with me, all I have to do is go to an internet café and access my journal from the web. Next, I don't have to worry about losing my files or forgetting my filenames, or carrying a laptop when I travel.

Keeping an online journal is a little exhibitionist, but I didn't know how much until I came across some blogs that were sexually explicit. I found two that fascinated me because of the surprisingly good writing in them, a black man's journal (composed of his letters to his girlfriend), and a woman's journal about her sex life with her boyfriend. They are both good writers and following their sexual escapades is like following Lara Croft's archeological expeditions. Suffice it to say that these two sites have been keeping me awake for two nights now. I feel like a voyeur but just like we can't put a good book down, so can't I with these blogs. I've finished reading the archives of the guy's but I skipped most of them because they were too macho for me with his 'lectures'. The woman's journal is more entertaining. She's one of those submissives that loves hard and painful sex. Everyone who's so uptight about sex should read her and learn a few things.

Anyway, my point. These two blogs have one thing in common: bdsm sex (although of the milder type). The black guy (Neko) is a sadistic dominant and he writes letters to his girlfriend about the things he will do to her in and out of bed. He is always in control and is always the one who decides what to do. When it comes to sex, his girlfriend has no option. She just takes. I liked one of his letters that describes what's GOOD sex, BETTER sex, BEST sex. It's like a questionnaire of how prudish you can get. Before reading further, you've to remember that a black guy wrote this. They're known to enjoy sex more than anyone else and has made it an art of control and pleasure. So please try not to compare yourself to them, or you'll only fall short. Here's what Neko wrote to his girlfriend: (disclaimer: blah, blah, blah)

"Having you suck my cock is good. Taking a fistful of your hair while you suck my cock is better. Taking a fistful of your hair, and forcing you to take more of my cock into your mouth is best.

Holding your hands over your head while we make love is good. Tying you to the bed while we make love is better. Tying you to the bed, then teasing you till you beg is best.

Doing it doggy style is good. Holding you down while I fuck you from behind, over the side of the bed, is better. Tying your hand behind your back, spanking you, THEN fucking you hard is best.

Knowing you want more is good. Knowing you love me is better. Knowing that you know I want to do nasty things to and with you, and loving me for it is best."

I know, I know... but I did put a disclaimer at the top of this article. Sarah, of the other site wrote of her boyfriend:

"He called me His cunt, His slut, His bitch and other names, hitting me to mark me with each word. He told me to kneel and I shifted and He slapped me across the face again... He asked if I was still coming and I told Him I was and He laughed and called me an easy fuck. He grabbed my throat and slapped my face again and again, one cheek then the other over and over. I couldn't breath and I needed to cry and I couldn't wrap my thoughts around what was happening. Then He stopped hitting me. He leaned over and spat into my open mouth and I felt like my body was exploding in pleasure. My consciousness started to slip."

A friend of mine said I couldn't write about submissives because I don't know anything about the topic. She's right, that's why I posted these posts here so you can figure it out yourself. A submissive is someone who submits to her dominant master because that's what gives her pleasure and for her, that's a sign of his love for her. The man makes all the decisions, tells her what to do and the woman is there to serve him and please him. It's mostly a symbiotic master and slave relationship, which some kinky people go for.

But as I was reading this, I got to wondering... the other day, I was with my friend and one of them is this passionate and strong-willed woman, who, whenever she gets into a fight with her boyfriend, literally cowers when her boyfriend shouts at her. Not because she's afraid he'll hit her, they're talking on the phone after all, but because she's... I've no word to describe it but to say 'submissive.' Not the kinky kind maybe, but still, submissive. How can this strong person give up all that she stands for and believes in, in the name of love?

I remember a part of a movie (I forgot the title now), where Whoopi Goldberg was saying, "Why can't we remain the way we are regardless of the man we are with?" I know a lot of friends who lose their self-esteem and self-identity once their man is around. What goes on in their bedroom is none of our business, and so with what goes on outside. But I wonder how it is that we're willing to submit to our partners' wills, serve them and please them and put our needs only second to theirs.

Relationships are a very complex topic to tackle, and this one isn't an exception. I know though, that people crave to have strong personalities around them, even if they're not the submissive types. I know that once a strong personality enters a room, almost all are willing to let him make the decisions for them. There's something comforting about having someone strong around after all. And for those who make too much noise, either they're trying to be dominants and not succeeding, or they just want to be noticed, to be nurtured and pleased and protected, so they can submit.

Submitting, and relinquishing your rights is easy. You wash yourself of any responsibilities that go with being a dominant. You don't have to make any major decisions, you don't have to choose, all you have to do is follow and do what you're told. I'm sorry to say, but for all those who are in denial, that kind of describes us all. Of course, I'm not talking about submissiveness in the bedroom anymore, or a relationship with a lover. I'm now talking about another kind of relationship, the ones we have with society, with our government, with everyone around us. The choices we say we're free to make has been boiled down to "which (chosen) president to choose from", "which toothpaste brand to buy", "do I need a liposuction or not?" These are choices usually relegated to 'girls' and we've all been conditioned into subs without our knowing. It's for us to ask now, who really are the dominants in our lives? Who holds the power over us? Who stops us from doing what we want, and who gives us pleasure by deciding for us, for providing us comfortable choices, and protecting us from harm? And worse, who punishes us when we go beyond our set boundaries?

All I'm saying really, is that we're no different from the Sarah's of this world. We give in easily without a fight, our pleasure comes from not having to make difficult choices, our Master is there to protect us from harm, and love and contentment is measured by the pleasure our Master decides to give us.

Some of us have the potential to be Nekos, by taking what we want and calling it providing pleasure and loving. If we think this type of loving is harmful to the submissives, it's because we don't understand the dynamics behind the relationship. To understand them is to see ourselves in them, to demean that kind of behavior is to ignore that part of us that submits or dominates.

I wonder what will happen to the world if we each decide to become strong dominants, ready to take responsibility for our happiness and our own fate? I wonder what will happen if we all choose 'best sex'?

Posted 12/07/04.  Send your comment to bananacue_republic@yahoo.com

"We give in easily without a fight, our pleasure comes from not having to make difficult choices, our Master is there to protect us from harm, and love and contentment is measured by the pleasure our Master decides to give us."