Last time, I wrote about the media’s influence in shaping our lives. How we look at ourselves, our neighbors, and how we behave, who we want to become... these are all influenced and "programmed" into us by the media. Do you have good family values taught to you by your parents? Ask yourself where they learned those values. Try to find the real source of what they uphold. I’m sure they’re from the ‘Brady’ and/or Bible generation. When growing up, were your parents liberated and did they allow you to find your own way? They’re probably from the Flower generation. Or maybe a mix of the two, or three? I’ve tried to find the source of all our desires, and I tell you it’s something someone told us is "good". It’s something someone defined as desirable. The media has taken advantage of our desire to be accepted, and to belong.

That’s what drives most of us normal people. We want to belong. We want to be accepted. And because of that want, we’ll do anything to get what we want. The sad part about it is that we’re not even aware we’re doing this. We’ve been doing this on automatic mode that we always assume that we should all look the same, think the same, and behave the same way. Don’t you ever criticize a neighbor for not having the same values as you? Or not having the same set of behavior as you? Or not having the same thoughts and ideas as you?

I am not arguing for diversity, nor am I against uniformity. But I do believe that we should all question our desires, our wants, and our current habitual behaviors and patterns. Are these who we really are? Are these who we really want to become? Are these really our own desires? Are we happy? Are we contented? Do we want more than what we already have? And are these really our own wants?

We’re a lucky generation. We have the ability to recreate ourselves. We have the tools, we have the spiritual teachers and gurus coming out in the open, we have the technology and we have a more open-minded and experimental society. We are not afraid to change our looks, nor our behaviors, and we’re not afraid to do new things. The danger arises when we allow ourselves to be guided by others’ "definitions" of what’s good for us, even when they’re not. We do this without using our own inner ‘judge’. Without using our reason and logic. Without questioning. That’s too bad, because we have the power to recreate ourselves according to what makes us feel good inside. We can choose happiness over something meaningless we do day in and day out. We can decide that we don’t anymore want to hear ourselves complaining about the life we have. We have that choice.  

Recently, someone just gave me the best advice I’d ever had. "You only got this body this one life, so make it count". This wasn’t about making the most of my time here and doing my to-do list because maybe this is my last day on earth. This was about choosing to live a meaningful and fulfilling life, as opposed to "fluttering about" and doing all sorts of things. This was about choosing how I want to live this one life, what I want to do with it, and making it as meaningful and fulfilling as possible. And to get that, I had to ask myself hard questions that needed honest answers. What do I really want? What do I enjoy doing? What makes me happy? What is meaningful and fulfilling for me? And, am I doing these things? Am I working towards what I want? Am I doing the things I enjoy and love? Am I doing the things that make me happy? Am I living a life full of meaning? Do I feel fulfilled with what I’m doing?

What I loved about this advice was that it came when I was asking myself what to do with the rest of my life. And it made me realize how superficial my desires and goals had been, and only because I hadn’t been choosing and focusing on the life I really wanted for myself.

My point is, we can’t waste anymore time doing the things we don’t even like, and being the kind of person we don’t even want to be friends with. We have to know who we really are inside, who we really want to become, and what we really want to be doing. We have to decide and choose what to do with this body we have in this one life, and as my friend said, we have to make it count.