I'm now in the threshold of Cronehood. I mean, no age-telling here..but when I open my cellphone the first words that greet me are "You've got the GOLD, GOLDEN GIRL!" and it starts my day right among all other things...

Among other things is starting the day right. Self Assurance come by Daily Affirmations and a round of Meditation...Prayer to the Divine and greeting the Elementals and getting hugged by Jesus and Mama Mary as I saunter in my nightgown/smock to my studio. Eucalyptus tea? Yah..that will do. The night that passed was filled with my insomniacal daemons that robbed me of my commuter pass to Dreamland, and the Incubus called Perimenopause was at bay beside my bed---impregnated me with flatulence that the first thing I did was to rush to the bathroom at 7am to deflate...

I've been living this Magickal life since I was an adolescent..when I touched the earth beneath my feet and it moved! It was like touching a pregnant Belly...and everything, the sky, the trees, plants and birds flying all around me pulsed to a Harmony which was in a continuous flux..the coming, the going..births, metamorphosis, transitions, deaths...and then it starts all over again...This wonder, I still breathe in every morning even thru migraines, itching, hot flushes and memory lapses...

Brown bread or Oatmeal.  No no sausages..Ah Mangoes...Ibus..Suman. Breakfast as I dust the studio..Prepare my canvasses. Ruminate..or sort thru last week's sketches. Ho hum I need more Titanium White..I forgot to clean the sables. I light a scent diffuser, get my wand and cast a circle and summon the Guys (the Archangels): Hey c'mon over Gang, I'm starting to paint! What will it be Now? What Cerebral Channel will I watch? I check the whiteboard: Mount this-and-that exhibit, Check term papers, Workshops, Art Sessions...Estrogens, estrogens, estrogens...

They're on their own now.

"Mommy?" my daughter Dewi calls over the studio door, "the henna butter is ready now, shall I spread them over the white roots?"

"What white roots?"

"Er...roots..scalp..hair..."

"I think I'll let them grow an inch then you can start on the next inch of growth. Was thinking of Zebra stripes though.." I said, cackling...

"MOMMMYYY!!"

Okay I'm all buttered up for 45 minutes while Dewi prepares the rinsing bath. I glance at my scrying mirror and grimace that I look like a puffy version of Antonio Banderas with Tres Marias pomade.  Then I daydream about Conception...

"Pagmunimuni"
(Mixed Media Painting by Dulz Cuna,
Campana Collection)

Oh, the babies came..One Duane, Two Dominic, Three Dane, and Four Dewi...My Celebrations of Life.. Conception was the most beautiful phase..Carrying the babies to greet this World was always making me feel like Boticelli's Venus floating on a pearly shell with a pregnant belly. The sweet pain of delivery, the satisfaction of nursing enthroned me as the Blessed Aura of Motherhood..

Thru my studio window I watch a maya build a nest in my overgrown santan. Attagirl, I say..make the Rockabye strong there, huh...You don't want them babies to fall down.  Then that starts me worrying about my own.  I rub my body with menthol oil and murmur an incantation and fly via Besom (broomstick) to Manila to check out on Dominic, or wake sleepyhead Duane, or check out Dane in a friend's pad in Palo, or talk to Dewi in her head not to touch that Mr. Goodbar in the fridge...my Depression tamer...All this I do in a Trance in my studio.

But now, the birdies have wings of their own...

With a sigh, and a sip of tea, I open a bound craftpaper book which I call Book of Shadows (Consilium) and write down the "Samadhi" (awakenings) of the day...