Survivor Barbra: The Island nears the end. The Island's last seven characters flew back to serve as jury and vote for the winner. The cast found out a distinguished past winner Judge Maxwell, Judy's daddy, would preside over the last tribunal.
The jury took its place.
The Remaining Survivors:
1 Fanny "Good Funny Girl" Brice Arnstein
2 Katie Morosky
The Jury:
1 Esther
2 Claudia
4 Judy
5 Yentl
6 Lowenstein
7 Good Rose
At the Final Tribunal Council (or as Katie sarcastically referred to it, “commencement”) the last seven players voted off The Island would act as jury to determine the winner. Each juror would be able to ask a question or make a statement. Fanny and Katie would then be able to make a speech before the vote would be taken.
“Welcome to the Final Tribunal Council,” Judge Maxwell said. “Funny word for the end,” Katie said under her breath. The judge lectured Katie, “I will have order in my court.” “Pastrami on rye,” Fanny joked. Judy (not joking) said, “Hhhhhot fudge Sunday with a diet bottle of anything…” “Order, ORDER,” the judge bellowed! Claudia couldn’t control herself, “Let them speak!” “Young lady, you’ll have your turn,” Judge Maxwell yelled back. “Young lady?” Claudia said flattered as she quieted down.
“At this time”, Judge Maxwell continued, “I would like the jury to, one by one, take the stage and state your question or make your statement.”
Esther was first. In lieu of a question or statement she chose a seven-minute close up while she sang “Watch Closely Now“.
“Oh, that was nice”, the judge said. “But my Judy sings better. She doesn’t go for that rock garbage. Give her a piano and Cole Porter and she turns into an angel.”
Esther shook her head and handed the microphone to Susan Lowenstein. “I was going to sing a song also,” Susan started. “But then I realized it wouldn’t belong at the end of this game because this trial is all about you. Why should I sing when this is your story? So I’d like to ask a question instead. Can either of you order a meal in French?”
Katie grinned ear to ear as she rattled off her knowledge in French.
Fanny thought and answered, “When we were dating my ex-husband, gorgeous!, ordered meat and potatoes once for me in a hotel room, but I didn’t pay much attention to what he said.”
“Judy can order in any language,” Judge Maxwell stated. “Judy… Sumtauew?”
“Too egg rolls!” Judy responded.
“Soup du jour” the judge quizzed.
“I believe that would be Chicken noodle, Daddy,” she said looking toward The Island chef. He nodded in agreement.
“Excellent” Judge Maxwell cried out!
Claudia took the stage next and asked with a scowl, “Have either one of ya ever given head”?
Fanny was oblivious to what Claudia was asking. “Head? The only head I know from is ‘Head of the Network’”.
Katie was a bit more with it. “I believe my 1st Amendment is being violated by that question. I take the 5th,” she responded.
Judy, fresh from driving school asked, "What does D and R mean in a car. I always get them confused.”
Fanny shrugged, “Don’t Rain? I dunno, I have a chauffeur"
Katie rarely drove so she had to think back using word analogy. “R is for Republican. Voting for them means the country will be going in Reverse. D is for Democrat. Voting for them means going forward, which means as a nation we will Drive ahead - Reverse and Drive”, Katie answered with a big smile.
“WONDERFUL question Judy”, her Daddy squealed enthusiastically. “Very insightful!”
Up next Good Rose asked, “Are you a Mets or Yankee fan?”
Fanny looked puzzled, “What’s a Met?”
“Good answer!” Rose smiled.
Katie frowned and said, “Who cares?”
“WHO CARES?!?!?!” an offended Rose shrieked. “When your team wins The World Series, as most of you know, it feels freakin’ GREAT!” Katie just stared at Rose, speechless.
“Judy likes sports”, Judge Maxwell interjected. “She was a champion cyclist back in San Francisco.”
“And a champion bay swimmer”, Judy added as she batted her eyes.
Yentl was last up. "Pick a number from one to three", she asked.
Katie picked two while Fanny went with one and three quarters.
With all the statements and questions out of the way the two survivors had a chance to make their own statements.
Fanny started, "I’ve never been good at games but I am a star. The star of stars, The GREATEST STAR. I deserve to be the winner. Oh… and I won an Oscar!
Claudia, Susan and Yentl’s faces dropped with that last declaration. In fact, only Esther smiled when The Oscar was mentioned. Fanny, sensing she said the wrong thing did the only thing she could: Tap-danced her trademark move, finishing with her arms stretched out.
Crickets… no reaction from her colleagues.
Katie smiled and began her pitch. “While I have experience standing on corners asking people to vote for someone else I never had to ask people to vote for me. This is hard. I don’t come from Beekman Place. I’m not a big Broadway star or exaggerate my achievements like some. I am a common person just like you. I just want to get back to the states so we can all go back to the way we were. Memories can be beautiful and yet”, she finished with a dreamy look.
“This is a vote for the winner,” Judge Maxwell reminded the jury before they began their secret vote. "The Governor of The Island will tally the votes and I will read his results, one by one from a list he will prepare."
When the voting was done Judge Maxwell commenced reading off the votes. “Katie… Fanny… Katie… Fanny… Judy?… Judy?”
“Judy?” He read the last vote in astonishment. Judy, embarrassed by the attention looked up from the blanket she was hiding under… “Hello Daddy” was all she could say. Apparently her Daddy being a past winner and his talking Judy up after each juror’s comments influenced the jury vote.
Katie countered, “You have to throw out Judy’s votes. They can only vote for one of us,” Katie complained.
“Where is it written,” Yentl countered.
“Re-vote” Fanny shouted, knowing like her Oscar the vote was tied if all they did was throw out Judy’s votes.
Susan stared at The Island Governor’s name tag then said, “We need an independent re-count of the votes.”
Governor Jeb Maxwell took offense to Susan Lowenstein’s request.
Claudia then noticed the Governor’s name tag and screamed, “WE NEED A LAWYER!”
To be continued…. (Vote to determine what action should be taken now- art imitates life <g>)
