| Journal Dear Journal, I've done alot of thinking lately about everything in general. Just like how Var is going to become Lord Heir and why Nerloi's a greenrider. I've decided that it has to do with life and that it's not fair. I should of realized that life wasn't fair before, I know. But I guess that I always had trouble with that. I never could figure out why things happened, like why Var was so much like father and I'm so much like mother. Or why Nerloi was Searched after she back-talked the greenrider who Searched her! If I was rude to a Searchrider, I'll be that I wouldn't be Searched. It only works for Nerloi; almost every male drudge in the entire Hold was falling over her, as well as the heirs of several neighboring Holds. But she goes off and Impresses. Okay, so I'm jealous. I'd love to Impress a dragon, but just haven't had the chance yet. I wish that someone would give me that chance, but, well, you live with what you have, I suppose. You can't make things happen that you want to happen, you just have to wait for them to come to you. I'll just wait for a Searchrider to come to me. They come pretty often, but usually take drudges, and father might be a bit reluctant about letting me go to a Weyr. I'd do it anyway, though, becaues he named Var heir. I am really jealous of Var, but, well, I'll live with it. Life isn't fair. Dear Journal, Just when I thought that life was turned against me, I realized that it's really not. Why this sudden change of attitude? Easy! I was Searched by Amaykala and her green Mayeth for Mayeth's own clutch of eight. I'm so happy that I could dance, even though I'm pretty sure that I'll get a sapphire. Sapphires are wonderful, though. I'd just prefer a terra, because Nerloi always made jests at me that the only color that I'd ever Impress would be a sapphire, and I'd kinda like to show her that she's wrong. She'll never admit to being wrong, of course, but it'll still be cool. On another note, they only need two more female Candidates and one more male Candidate before Mayeth's clutch will hatch. If they don't get some soon, I'll probably reccoment a few of the drudges and kitchen workers to Amaykala and Mayeth, so that might help some. I hope that the clutch hatches soon... I'm beside myself with anxiousness. I punched a Candidate today, and I don't know why. It's horrible, isn't it? I don't know, he just insulted Nerloi and I got all mad. I've never even felt protective of my sister before, so I don't know where that came from. Ah, well, life isn't only not fair, but it's also terribly confusing. Ocean Side |