CLINTON AT HEAVENS GATE 

  Clinton died and went to heaven -- or, to be more accurate, 

approached 

  the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. 

  'Who goes there?' inquired St. Peter. 

  'It's me, Bill Clinton' 

  'And what do you want?' asked St. Peter. 

  'Lemme in!' replied Clinton. 

  'Soooo,' pondered Peter. 'What bad things did you do on earth?' 

  Clinton thought a bit and answered: 



  Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me 

because I didn't inhale. I guess I had extramarital sex, but you shouldn't 

hold that against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations' And 

I  lied, but it wasn't perjury.' 

  

  After several moments of deliberation, St. Peter replied, 'OK, 

here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we 

won't call it Hell. You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but 

we won't call it eternity And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, 

just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.