Humor and Mathmatics  
 
 
 ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
 Smart man + smart woman = romance
 Smart man + dumb woman = affair
 Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
 Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 OFFICE ARITHMETIC
 Smart boss + smart employee = profit
 Smart boss + dumb employee = production
 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 SHOPPING MATH
 A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
 A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
 need.

 GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
 A woman worries about the future until she gets a
 husband.
 A man never worries about the future until he gets a
 wife.
 A successful man is one who makes more money than
 his wife can spend.
 A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 HAPPINESS
 To be happy with a man, you must understand him a
 lot and love him a little.
 To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
 and not try to understand her at all.

 LONGEVITY
 Married men live longer than single men, but married
 men are a lot more willing to die.

 MEMORY
 Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's
 no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 APPEARANCE
 Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
 Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
 he doesn't.
 A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
 change, and she does.

 DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
 A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
 a man says after
 that is the beginning of a new argument.

 COMPREHENSION
 There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a
 woman - before
 marriage and after marriage.