Subject: Love, Lust, Marriage







LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.

LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.

MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.



LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."

LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."

MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?



LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.

LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.

MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.



LOVE - When you share everything you own.

LUST - When you steal everything they own.

MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.



LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.

LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.

MARRIAGE - What's a climax?



LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."

LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.

MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch.



LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.

LUST - When all you write is your phone number.

MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.



LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.

LUST - When you couldn't care less.

MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.



LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..."

LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."

MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.



LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.

LUST - When you only see each other naked.

MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.



LOVE - When your heart flutters everytime you see them.

LUST - When your groin twitches everytime you see them.

MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties everytime you see them.



LOVE - When nobody else matters.

LUST - When nobody else knows.

MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.



LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.

LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.

MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.



LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.

LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.

MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought.



LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.

LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.

MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.