In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man 

   and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has 

   rested. 

  

  My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state 

  troopers and a dog. 

  

  Why do men die before their wives? They want to!! 

  

  Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mother-in-laws!! 

  

  Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man 

  doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every 

  country, son. 

  

  A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he 

  received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can 

have  mine." 

  

  The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it 

  once. 

  

  Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life 

thinking they had no faults at all. 

  

  If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every 

word you say, talk in your sleep. 

  

  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the steet with 

a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful