Women's English:
>>>
>>>  Yes = No
>>>  No = Yes
>>>  Maybe = No
>>>  I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
>>>  We need = I want
>>>  It's your decision = The correct decision should be
>>>  obvious by now
>>>  Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
>>>  We need to talk = I need to complain
>>>  Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
>>>  I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
>>>  You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
>>>  Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
>>>This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
>>>I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and
>>>   wallpaper
>>>I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
>>>Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
>>>expensive
>>>How much do you love me? = I did something today you're
>>>going to hate
>>>I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and
>>>find a good game on TV
>>>You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
>>>Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]
>>>  ~~~
>>>    Men's English:
>>>
>>>  I'm hungry = I'm hungry
>>>  I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
>>>  I'm tired = I'm tired
>>>  Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to
>>>  have sex with you
>>>  Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to
>>>    have sex with you
>>>  Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have
>>>  sex with you
>>>  May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have
>>>  sex with you
>>>  Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
>>>  You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
>>>  fondle you
>>>  What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological
>>>  trauma is it now?
>>>  What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
>>>  I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
>>>  I love you = Let's have sex now!
>>>  I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex
>>>  Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better
>>>  before
>>>Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep
>>>  guy then maybe sex?
>>>  Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to
>>>  have sex with others
>>>  I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well
>>>  together = I'm gay
>>>