The Jakarta Post, August 04, 2006
Untold story of polygamy in Cisarua
Mohammad Yazid, Jakarta
A reporter in the Reuters office in Riyadh, Souhail Karam, recently wrote an article
about controversial misyar contracts -- a kind of marriage contract under which the
husband and wife often live separately but get together regularly, sometimes just for
sex.
Misyar is allowed under Sunni Islam and it is legal in Saudi Arabia, the birthplace of
Islam. However, these contracts outrage many women's activists and intellectuals
because they leave wives financially vulnerable and almost 80 percent of such
marriages end in divorce.
Karam wrote that the contracts were largely the result of frustration among Saudi
Arabia's youthful population, bound by strict religious codes but exposed to Western
lifestyles through the media and the Internet, quoting Rima al-Shamikh, a Saudi
television presenter.
The article, published in the July 23 issue of The Jakarta Post, is a simplification of
the sacred message of matrimony in Islam. It is like the sharia rule permitting mut'ah,
which is a marriage between a man and a woman for a certain dowry and for a limited
period.
Similar types of marriages can be found in Indonesia, in the form of short-term
marriage contracts between Indonesian women, mostly divorcees or widows, and
Middle Eastern men. Most of these types of marriages take place in Cisarua, West
Java.
Vice President Jusuf [Moron] Kalla sparked controversy in June when he mentioned
the issue during a seminar on the promotion of Indonesia as a tourist destination in
the Middle East. [Moron] Kalla, himself is businessman, joked that these types of
marriages benefited both the women and the Arab men.
[Moron] Kalla issued an apology several days after making the remarks, which were
seen as disparaging women. But the question remains whether marriage contracts
hurt or benefit the women. Although some of these contracts have happy endings,
with the women being taken to Saudi Arabia and married officially, they all begin in a
manner that is very insulting to the dignity of the women.
On Monday, police raided several houses in Cisarua and arrested a number of women
involved in short-term marriages, and detained several Arab men. Police said the
mut'ah was against the law and Islamic teachings.
According to Article 1 of the 1974 Marriage Law, this contract system is unlawful
because marriages are supposed to be aimed at establishing happy and lasting
families based on a shared belief in One God.
From the viewpoint of Islam, although the contract system presents witnesses and
marriage officials, just like an official marriage ceremony, it can be considered
legalized prostitution because, in practice, the women are involved in the "marriages"
just for the money.
Another issue is the misunderstanding of the meaning of polygamy. The idea of
polygamy has been creating divergent views among Muslims for a fairly long time.
Those adopting polygamy argue that even Prophet Muhammad had more than one
wife and that the Koran allows polygamy, as written in An-Nisa (4:3), which says that
men may marry two, three or four women.
The question is whether this argument is strong enough for men to choose polygamy.
Those disagreeing with this custom regard it as a form of manipulation of Islamic
teachings to satisfy bodily desires. Defenders of women's rights call it a form of
discrimination against women. What is the source of these diverse interpretations?
From a fiqih (legal) standpoint, polygamy is certainly lawful. The problem is whether it
is sufficient to make a decision on this matter on the basis of fiqih alone. The
polygamy practiced by Prophet Muhammad should be seen in its historical context,
fitrah (natural tendency) and prevailing civilization, which were obviously very different
from today.
The meaning of the An-Nisa chapter should be taken as the attitude of human fitrah.
Men have the natural tendency of wanting to possess more than one wife. But one
must not forget that women have the natural tendency of refusing to be made
co-wives. To avoid misunderstanding and ensure fair treatment in family life, it is
suggested that a man take only one wife for the sake of justice.
Therefore, by taking account of the An-Nisa provision and the other chapters in the
Koran, one can conclude that Islam actually teaches monogamy while respecting
polygamy and putting it in its proper perspective.
The Prophet himself taught monogamy to his companions so that none of them
practiced polygamy, not even his close friend Ali bin Abi Thalib was granted
permission to take a second wife.
Those choosing polygamy for reasons of following the Prophet's sunah (teachings) in
fact should ask whether what they are doing really conforms to Islam. Islam considers
marriage to be sacred, with the intention of worshiping Allah instead of merely
satisfying bodily desires.
In this context, the marriage contracts practiced in Cisarua are hard to comprehend
when compared with the Prophet's guidelines, as is also be the case with misyar in
Saudi Arabia.
Amid the controversy over the pornography bill, these marriage contracts should
receive more serious attention so as not to disparage Islam or violate anti-pornography
provisions, let alone their impact on the women and the future of their children.
The writer is a staff member on The Jakarta Post's Opinion Desk. He can be reached
at yazid@thejakartapost.com.
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