(or
Operation Somers 2)
July 7 2002PRE RAID BRIEFING
0530hrs
Notting Hill Bunker
Dido Dispatch
Morning men, sorry I had to wake you at this ungodly hour but once again destiny beckons
us. I know a few of you have it in for destiny but he's only doing his job. Please read
the following very carefully as I can only send it once. Our supreme commander has issued
instructions that volunteers come forward to help in putting down a localised outbreak at
one of our previous victorious battle grounds, that's right men once again we return to
mop up some divisional skirmishes in Operation Somer's 2.
Priv Mel Way has spent many hours looking over Arial photographs and
believes that Somers is still in the same location as before, 194 C9. To those having
fought on this hallow ground previously you will know that we will travel over fast flat
terrain which is open to the elements. I feel this time thou, the enemy is on to us and we
might have to break into several opposing units.
Stay undercover as long as you can men (naturally this doesn't apply to
Col. Elvis or his very loyal Aide de Campe, Trooper Mavis as they are not happy unless the
wind is their face and the rest of the regiment are eating their dust) for there will be a
foreign spy by the name of Big Bad Bill (BBB or 3B) who will be looking at individual
physical performance especially as we head towards Operation Undress. 3B is very keen to
give any strong soldier a tougher assignment and I fear the worst is yet too come.
I would also ask Trooper Mavis to have his brother in law not position
the undercover Ute as a diversion in site of the enemy as we storm there line this time.
In case there are casualties you will be pleased to know that we will be
joined by nurse Major Ellen Houlihan (now we know why Wayno Q Klinger has been in the
infirmery so longggggggggggg). Our commander would appreciate it if you could do battle
first prior to committing to the infirmery with serious battle scars. (Undercover agent
Mel Gibson please note that old dog scars or Mordi fall over scars do not count, I know, I
know but that's the rules).
Rev Sandy Bottom will be performing (!!) or sending a blessing prior to
battle.
Once again the bayside convoy will leave the Court of Wayne in the
shadows of Station Street this Sunday morning at 0715hrs.
Rest well men as there only so many sleeps before we face the enemy and destiny stops
blowing that f@#$%&! bugle.
Over and slightly out
Priv Brooks
Report from the Battle Front Operation
Somers 2 - 7/7/02
From: Trevsey <El.Vendorino@Fashion.City.com.au>
Subject: Report From the Battle Front
Date: Tuesday, 9 July 2002 10:03
Report from the Battle Front Operation Somers 2 - 7/7/02
Combatants listed herewith-
C DIVISION
Show us your privates (Brooks)
Mel Gibson(Ricardo)
Aide de Campe(Mavis)
Trevsey(Trevsy)
Agent Codds(Codds)
Col Pyper(La La)
D DIVISION
Major Ellen Houlihan
Maaaaaario(Mario)
Apologies from Elvisąs Mum.
Once again another almost successful campaign was mounted at Operation
Somers 2. We decided to split ourselves over two divisions so as not to draw
too much attention to ourselves, although someone should have told Col
Pyper, as on our arrival there he was resplendant in Bandido cap. A quick
undressing by privates had everything under control.
After getting into our undercover battle dress inc. Bandido socks we were
ready for the skirmish.
Maaaaaaario and Major headed off with D Division with Maaaaario declaring
that he was going to show them how to win.
Under hushed tones the plan of attack was spread amongst the undercover
agents by privates, Aide de Campe anxious to show C Division who he really
is.
After one and half laps of the six lap skirmish with agents La La, Privates,
Codds and Trevsey in control of C Division, Aide de Campe and Mel were
launched off the front into the battle! Unfortunately B Division which were
having their own private skirmish a couple of hundred metres further up the
road didnąt appreciate Aide and Mel joining in. This was evident to those of
us back in C Division by the language and shouting that came back down the
road, what spoil sports!
In fact Mel who is so used to people talking and laughing with him was so
overwrought by this attention that he retreated to the comfort of C Division
leaving Aide out there to do what he does best grind them into the road.
In fact that was the last we saw of Aide de Campe until after the battle was
over, we hoped and prayed that he was ok. As for the rest of us undercover
agents we followed privates and La La, wherever they went, we went. After
behaving ourselves for the duration of the skirmish and all out assault was
made for the enemy line with all agents finishing well up, but careful not
to record any placings as instructed by his privates, except for one. Yes,
Aide de Campe had decided early on that hiding within C Division wasnąt for
him and not only did he win but he won by something like half a lap!
Awesome, unbelievable and has done wonders for his handicap.
Meanwhile in D Division Major Ellen had decided to act as a diversion by
dropping out of the Division hence drawing a number of combatants with her
leaving Maaaaaario to deal with the rest, finishing well up at the finish
just outside the placings as per intructions from privates.
All in all another succesful mission with once again another de briefing at
the local Somers Coffee shop with undercover agent 86 (disguised as
Australia Post box) in attendance.
Looking forward to receiving our next briefing from his "very privates all
over the place".
Over and coming out,
Trevsey (Trevsy)
the end….
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