Mama Told Me Not To Come...

Want some whiskey in your water?
Drambuie in your tea?
What's all these crazy questions you're askin' me?
This gotta be the craziest bike ride that could ever be
Don't show me the map `cause I don't wanna see

Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
That ain't to have fun, no, uh-uh

Got my mouth wide open, tryin to get air into my lungs
I think I'm almost chokin' from the smell of them brake drums
And the way those hills keep windin'
Don't scare me half to death
Ease off the hammer Smurfy you suck er, let me catch my breath

Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
That ain't to have fun, son
That ain't to have fun, son

The stereo is blastin', someone's knockin' at the door
I'm lookin' at my Bandit mates, they're passed out on the floor
I've seen so many things I ain't never seen before
Don't know who they are, I don't wanna see them no more

Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
She said that ain't (the way) to have fun, son
That ain't aint the way to have fun, son

That ain't to have fun, no
That ain't to have fun, son

With best respects to :-
ARTIST: Randy Newman
TITLE: Mama Told Me (Not to Come)
[As recorded by Three Dog Night]

Greetings from Corryong where Mothers fear their sons to tread ....

Todays Bulletin email comes under some duress. And the minimum of dress. We are at the Corryong Hotel Motel's 'Bottom Pub'. (yes *that* 'bottom') One of the 7 Horrors of the Earth...A rather quaint establishment with lingerie hanging from the ceiling (hah! - dont believe me do you? - go to the website and check). We are further entertained by lady in black leathers [currently belting out 'Mustang Sally']. How more kink y does it get you must be asking. Quite a lot actually ...but more of that later...

THE STATS
Trip 155km, Av Speed 29.8kmph, Max speed * * * 85.4kmph * * *, Height climbed approx 2000 metres

THE RIDE
The Bandits were THE LAST riders to leave Beechwoth today. Supremely confident of our prowess and basking... no, wallowing, in the expectation that we would be mopping up large sections of the feild with our irresistable surges. That bubble lasted an hour. Until Yackandandah Tea Break. Where the others were waiting patiently for us.

We tambangalanga'd past Tallangatta. Scene of several Murray sailing competitions assured El Pres. Bodies now fit and taut we had entered into that dangerous mindset of 'Piece of p*ss', 'What shall we do after the ride today guys?', 'These rides seem to be getting easier and easier'.... Further and further we dug, witless and unwittingly.... down into the black hole of despond.

Big bags of carrots got handed over to the pooped Bandits at Bullioh. Suck on those fellas. Welcome to the law of gravity...Phew the big back cogs got a serious workover today. Never ending.

Koetong Pub re injected some humour into the day. Full Monty Country Pub. They did us proud with a top job.

The last 50 clicks were a scenic set of swoops past Colac Colac and Cudgewa territory. Max velocity achieved by leg weary yours truly.

Corryong Hotel Motel has certainly been a first in terms of accomodatory excellence. For accomodation, the six of us have been housed in a shoebox on the middle of the main road. A puddle of spew was strategically placed near our front door. A sort of wlecome mat from the hard drinking 'Bushies'. The Bar Fridge is morgue size and hosts exactly one litre of milk. It makes a noise reminescent of the Battle of the Somme.. Washing facilities were non existent... so we used the sink, nicked the boat anchor rope from the boat parked next to our room. And we were in business. Except for internet - hence a late update. Apologies and grovelling folks.

We were hosted as above at the Bottom Pub. And thought. Thats it. C'mon boys... time for a Full Monty Shot for the archives. So so and so, the so and sos appear in a Bandit extravaganza : N aked. Completely and utterly bare botted at the website. The Full Monty Bandit Ambit.....If this doesnt give the site max hits, nothing will. How desperate is that ??

THE PROTAGANISTS

APB
PB had a few gos at hanging with his mates but there was just too much going on. Your scribe baited him a few times on the downhill runs but I got munched in the hills. PB nevertheless is looking slighly dissapated. The stats on hill gradients at Thredbo have creased the otherwise unfurrowed brow of the Punisher of Hills.

AL PRESIDENTE
AP compiled a solid day. Your scribe hammered past him on every downhill. But he would not be sucked in. A puny 73kmph max speed. He was, however, looking confident in the hills. A man waiting for the moment of truth at Thredbo.

CLIVE
Clive of India had a shocker today. We put him to straight to bed in Corryong. He is looking a lot better now. Post steak and bed break.

PHIL
Another contained ride from Nuggety Phil. Pacing himself for The Mother Of All Days. Looking nervous all the same

WAZZA
I awoke sweating today...I was in the hills. And they were tough. Causing that unfamilar pain in the thighs and shortness of breath. ....Then I realised... I am awake. I am in the hills. And they are causing me discomfort. Sweat and body odour.... That aint the way to have fun son. No, uh uh.

STEW
Stew has starting inviting the fairer gender for rides in the Porsche. Good move son. Good publicity. The elders are watching the youth of today closely. This isnt the rite of passage we were told about..... Moma told him not to come.

Tomorrow the nightmare begins .... Thredbo with an accumulated climb of approx four thousand metres.... Show time has arrived...

Cheers and Beers

ps : to see the latest news and pics go to
http://au.oocities.com/bbchallenge2001/index.html

or go to the Bandits Mega Site
http://www.baysidebandidos.com

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