THE STATS
Trip 106km, Av Speed 26.9kmph, Max speed 74kmph , Height climbed approx 500 metres, 3.8 hours effort.
{cf : Av speed up to Robertson was 33kmph [where all the hills were] }
Elapsed Distance : approx 1100km

THE RIDE
The ride started in the usual ad hoc fashion. He of India started first to get the legs warmed up without the stress of the other happyhammering Bandits pushing the pace. AlPres and Nuggety somehow snuck off. Leaving Waz and PB to soak up the last few photo opportunities. I dont know how it works but we set off in a very spring-has-sprung, amiable mood, and, as the sap started to rise, well, er, the pace sorta picked up, and, before we were really aware of it, we were absolutely bulletting down the road. Looking for the yellow tyres, blue shorts and white vests of our prey.

After 20 clicks, we found Clive with a big group of 20 riders just after Mossvale. Munch. Thats them gone. Crank crank crank...Phew. Gasp. These hills are big. Why did the map profile look so flat. This is lumpy stuff. Pant pant. Hammer hammer. Where are those other two.

Meanwhile up the road Al and Phil had taken a similar view of the procedings and were pumping away up the front...

Back at our end. We kept at it. 30 kays went by. Still no sign. Legs now starting to send up urgent messages to the brain. "Hey we made a deal up there!!" ...You be nice to us, and we'll be nice to you. Shortly after that the stomach joined in. Me hungry. Brekky was over an hour ago. Water will not do. Me want serious carbo stuff. Muffins, bananas, cheese cake, ginger biscuits. Bring them to me or pay the price. Blo ody body, never satisfied. Take it out for a little ride and all you get is complain complain. I want this. I want that. Legs too sore. Nag nag nag.

Some very big hills hove into view. Brain said oooooo deeaaar. Legs said what the hell is going on with you nutter. Punisher said yesssssssssss. Come to me BABY !! Like a ship in full sail he cruised up and away. {thats an amazing thing about PB, he NEVER hammers or shoots away...he just cruises off..... This makes it much much worse. A gap opens. And you try and close it. Another kmph into the red line. Then another gap. Oooooomph. Another kmph into overdraft. Another follows another. And then. Suddenly. Im dead. Legs have gone on leave. Message posted to brain : "You sort it out - we're history" .....BONK !!!

Luckily the BONK was minor and I still had him visual.

ZZZZzzooom ...thru Robertson. Huh! What! Wheres the tea break. I am needing one REAL REAL bad now. Another big hill. Mutter mutter. Then down a big pass on the other side. The Maquarie escarpment now becoming visual. and then. Ooooh ahhhh riders ahead starting to stand up, turning into ...A RESTUARANT.... yes thank you thank you

Hey Waz - youre looking good mate ...yeah eeeeaazzy guys. A bit hectic for your scribe.

That restuarante got very favorable raps providing mugachinos at such a tactical spot. Sue & Co will be remembered for the Coffee scrolls. Whacked off about 2 of em between breaths.

From this point the ride became very very interesting. Poor Phil McDonald had not received mandate from the authorities for the Challenge to decend Macquarie Pass. So we went ahead as individuals. What a ride...

The Pass descends about 800 metres. It is a series of tight switchbacks. The surface is Grand Prix standard bitumen. The corners are cambered. Surrounded by Rainforest. The promised land for downhill riders.

Many promises made to not do anything stupid with pointed remarks to Al (Crash Harry) and Waz (the destroyer of wheelie bins). Then down we went. First impressions : very chilly.
Second impression very soon therafter : very very steep. (silent thanks to PB for adjusting our Porsche brakes beforehand)
Third impression : phewwwww this is a touch scary.
Fourth impression : Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

From third impression onward we were in heaven. Taking wide sweeping turns, banked right over like Mr Valentino Rossi (sort of). Braking early and then accelerating thru the bends. No cars could come near us. Fan bloody tastic. Those who did it were as impressed. For us : the best 15 minutes of cycling we have ever experienced. Absolutely Electric.

We saw two folk pedalling up. Briefly. Poor sods. It looked like about 4 Arthurs Seat rides.

At the bottom the riders regrouped and we all had a great convoy ride into the Gong. Lots of chatting and war stories.

Great lunch at the Lighthouse and harbour area. The souvlakis were great.

Then a pleasant ride down the cycle path to the accomodation.

What a ride. A good mixture of riding. Very eclectic.....

.

COMMENT OF THE DAY
"I feel flatter than a dunny mans hat"
Al, commenting on his lack of energy attacking the hills (again)

"my b*tt feels like its been worked over by a belt sander"
comment heard in the peloton going thru Wollongong

"if i didnt have my balls in a bag, i'd lose them as well"
comments from the scribe, clearly the messiest puppy on the trip, looking (again) for his meal ticket

THE PROTAGANISTS

APB
The Punisher again the strong man. Showed his racing experience as he screamed down Macquarie Pass. Some corners I thought he was gone but he had good lines and made our job easy as all we had to do was follow his trail down those big swoops. Also had enough in the tank to organise our bikes and lunches. An athlete and a gentleman....

AL PRESIDENTE
Still moaning about his knee but refuses to render it to the higher authorities. Kassan the Physio has done a great job on all sorts of injuries on this trip. But she has not been visited by the president. AP prefers to wait for the attack of gangrene or an exploding joint or at least large buckets of blood before going to the medical authoritiies. However riding the bike does seem to affect the afflicted area.

CLIVE
The Mystery Man started slowly today. Seemed to be struggling and then by mysterious and magical means picked himself up and flung himself down the road. He was actually the first Bandit into Wollongong. So there. Another rabbit out of the hat for the magician

.PHIL
The records show that Nuggety was first Bandit in at Robertson.The small point of sneaking off early seems to have been lost. But then the graciousness of the scibe is even more conspicuously absent. Big things are expected from The Nugget tomorrow. It must also be pointed out that Phil is the most improved bandit this ride. His hill riding has become more prounounced. For example he no longer uses the word hills. He will only pronounce 'mountains'. Expect sparks to come flying from the pronouncer of mountains as we ride into a new future, a new riding career for Nuggetty.

WAZZA
Flames were coming from every orrifice today. The leg of fire has started to spread to other parts of the body. A comet like trail was laid down the road today. However the comet is kinda running low on metho, drambuie and other inflamable materials. Tomorrow could be dodgy for the the scribe. The hills are taking their toll, the sun is taking its toll, too many jokes in too short a time, too many emails late into the night . . . . ge t t i n g . h a r d . to.. t. y. p. e.. ...m u s t.... s l e e e p...

(....all whilst the Punisher charges up....i can see green flickering lights coming from his window as i type .... there is a man in his room with a bolt thru his neck. he is walking around with jump start leads... there is a humming noise coming out of the Punishers chest...)

KERITH
KB kicked many big goals today. Im SURE she gave Phil and Al a lift to Robertson today. Damn.
Continued to provide good logistical support today.
The racing driver is now calling and taking the shots. Her photography has gone from zero to 90% in the space of a day. We have a feast of over 20 pics on the site (when I get the time to load em) And whats more they are a heck of a lot better than the junk i took. So a more human, feminine look will be gracing our pages henceforth.

..

BANDIT GUEST INTERVIEW
[We will be trying to provide a guest interview on each remaining day....]
Today we feature the Big Hitting girls of the Ride. They may be the fairer gender but these creatures are not to be toyed with or pandered to. They are serious about their cycling and do not tolerate any whiff of chauvanism or condescendtion (did i just make that word up?)

First up we have Mary Lou. By common consent the Meanest of the Female Machines. Also a fashion machine. No hair out of place with this lady. No colour in conflict with another. She wears the same Briko sunnies as Marco Pantani. La Bella Pirata. One has to be careful wearing these glasses. Akin to matching pirate eye patches with a very aggreesive slant, they emit a very serious vibe. Put them on the unfit non hill crunching person and they would look more like The Fool than the The Pirate...I for one am not ballsy enough to wear such equipment. A Ricardo or an Elvis Maybe. The scribe spotted her on the the first day. All decked out. What the heck is that ?!? (he thought) Later as the hills hove into veiw and Waz wasa making his way thru the feild trying to sift the wheat from the chaff. La Bella Pirata appeared.... Hmm good style in the hills. Strong too. Puff puff. Very strong indeed. I decided to hang behind her and not look foolish by overtaking. Often seen hammering with the Furious Four.

We also have Shiralee. Wow was this girl popular. Boys were drawn to her blond and honey locks like bees. Shiralee hails from Briso and has a very loud voice. She carries a very large hammer in her back pocket. Often seen coming back down monster hills to offer support to the less endowed. With strength that is. Had only one gear. The one marked Flat Out. I was informed that this blonde is not 100% fit and that she will be having some medical attention to get her up to scratch. Look out for her in the news.

I call Tabatha "The Pocket Rocket" This compact lady is a power machine. A natural sprinter who rides in the crouched position ready to burn off anyone who is showing a bit of zip. And can she go. There were a few boys who tried but they were soon punished. The Rocket could also go the distances and was never far behind the big hitters. Pleased to report she is from Melbourne and has offered to teach the Bandits how to ride properly.... Heyyyy ...who typed that ?!??!

[A NOTE FOR THE ORGANISERS]
A special note for Greg the mechanic. Greg gave all our bikes a good tuneup on the second day and i found i had another 6 gears to chose from. I think most riders will have similar laurel wreaths to lay at his feet. Last night he was on the job providing a custom deraileuer hanger for one of the OCLVs. A very tricky job. But he had it all ground and screwed in place, ready for the next day. Almost worth while bringing the old stuff ed bike on the ride so Greggy can make it like new for when you get home...

Tomorrow we make the final trip to Sydney.............but the Bulli Pass awaits (the old one) ... should be good

Cheers after way too many beers .........We had a huuuuge night to nite ... many awards...lots of singing...lots of cheap red wine (except for that $35, 1979 Cab Sav pearler pulled out of the hat by The Magician)

PICTURES : Only doing a few at a time - will catch up when i get back. Plus put em all in the Gallery...

! ! ! ! ! ! BEST WISHES TO THE BANDIDOS ON THEIR "ROUND THE BAY IN A DAY" ! ! ! ! ! ! !

POSTSCRIPT FROM BACK AT THE BANDIDO HQ
[Below is some wondeful prose from the Mysterious Monseuier R] {Many Thanks to All for their Great Replies}
Fellow Bandidos ( Cosmic Travellers / Gypsies / Menace / Leaders of a new world order),
"My road calls me, lures me
West, east, south, and north;
Most roads lead men homewards,
My road leads me forth."

Roadways : John Masefield

How prophetic.

My life too has somehow changed; in perspective ,yes; in substance, yes; in meaning, yes o' distant travellers. There was a time when life was simpler, when the rhythm of life was calm, orderly, meaningful, purposeful. But now, what have I become. I'll tell you what I've become...................... A pathetic voyeur. A spectator, an interested bystander. A feather duster!!!!!!!

Now my life revolves around my new dependency, my new friend, my new ecstasy. THE DAILY BANDIDO UPDATE. Yes, I still pretend to be interested in work, family, morning rides. But deep down I'm listless, caught in a personal "Dead Calm", my own doldrums. But don't think I'm alone you you you of the "Holy Grail."

200, 250, 300, 350 hits. You think the Anthrax scare is paralysing the world. Thank again, Baysidebandidos.com is reeking havoc on commerce, on families, on GDP. George Bush was overhead to have commented on this latest global phenomenon.

"The FBI are currently investigating the "Bandido" folks and their links with international terrorists. The complete stagnation of the global economy by the Bandidos must be stopped. Children are starving, traffic gridlock, society at breaking point. They must be stopped and stopped now. We can't have people believing there is anything other than the slow agonising grind of daily life. Who the hell are these guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When you move off tomorrow remember this:

"Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I
take?" She asked. "Where do you want to go"? responded
the Cheshire cat. "I don't know". Alice answered.
"Then" said the cat, "it doesn't matter"
Lewis Carroll, author of "Alice in Wonderland"

Forest Gump ran for 3 years. Who said Sydney was the finish! Go for it guys.

yayayayayayayayayayayyayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayyayayayayaya

R.



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