What Makes a Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes, and prayed to God today.  I asked what makes a mother, and I know I heard him say A mother has a baby, this we know is true.  But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you? Yes, you can, he replies with confidence in his voice.  I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime and others for the day.  And some I send to fill your womb, but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this God; I want my baby here.  He took a breath and cleared his throat,  and then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you what your child is doing today.  If you could see your child smile with the other children and say..... We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear, My Mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a mom who had so much love for me.  I learned my lessons very quickly ; my mommy set me free. I miss my mommy oh so much, but I visit her every day.  When she goes to sleep,on her pillow is where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here. So, you see my dear sweet one, your children are ok.  Your babies sre here in my home, and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait with me until your lesson is through.  And on that day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you. So you see what makes a mother, It's the feeling in your heart.  It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start. Though some of earth may not realize, until their time is done, remember all the love you have, And know that you are a Special Mom. -Author Unknown-

Don't ask us if we are over it yet.  We'll never be over it.  A part of us died with our child. Don't tell us they are in a better place.  They are not here with us where they belong. Don't say at least they are not suffering.  We haven't come to terms with why they suffered at all. Don't tell us at least we have other children.  Which of your children would you have sacrificed? Don't ask us if we feel better.  Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up. Don't force your beliefs on us.  Not all of us have the same faith. Don't tell us at least we had our child for so many years.  What year would you choose for your child to die? Don't tell us God never gives us more than we can bear.  Right now we don't think we can handle anything else. Don't avoid us.  We don't have a contagious disease, just unbearable pain.  Don't tell us you know how we feel, unless you have lost a child.  No other loss can compare to losing a child.  It's not the natural order of things. Don't take our anger personally.  We don't know who we are angry at or why and lash out at those closest to us. Don't whisper behind us when we enter a room.  We are in pain, but not deaf. Don't stop calling us after the initial loss.  Our grief does not stop there and we need to know that others are thinking of us Don't be offended when we don't return calls right away.  We take each moment as it comes and some are worse than others. Don't tell us to get on with our lives.  We each grieve differently and in our own time frame.  Grief cannot be governed by any clock or calendar.  Do say you are sorry.  But we'd rather hear nothing, than cliches you don't mean. Do put your arms around us and hold us.  We need your strength to get through each day. Do say you remember our child, if you do.  Memories are all we have left and we cherish them. Do let us talk about our child.  Our child lived and still lives on in our hearts, forever.. Do mention our child's name.  It will not make us sad or hurt our feelings. Do let us cry.  Crying is an important part of the grief process.  Cry with us if you want to. Do remember us on special dates .  Our child's birth date, death date and holidays are a very lonely and difficult time for us without our child. Do send us cards on those dates saying you remember out child.  We do. Do show our family that you care.  Sometimes we forget to do that in our own pain.  Do be thankful for for children.  Nothing hurts us worse than seeing other people in pain. -Author Unknown-

Unless You've Lost a Child