A Wife's Cry

Baby, please tell me what’s going on. You seem to be letting out your frustration indirectly, hiding it behind jokes of comic relief and laughter. But something is wrong, you drank, I don’t care if it is 2 ounces or 20 ounces. You are cursing more, and talking negatively about alot of things. Please tell me what is going on. You said “It didn’t matter anymore.” I asked you what didn’t matter and you told me nothing. Don’t start to comparing your life to mine. But it is being done in a way in which, you are putting down your own. I am not sure if your joking with or not. I am not a mind reader, but what is going on? Sometimes, I feel like your frustrated with me, or maybe your just frustrated with the world. I don’t know, you won’t tell me. I am not sure if you are trying to protect me or not. Or trying to put all the weight you have to carry on yourself. Honey, let me lighten your load. Your back is obviously aching. I just wish, u would talk to me about it. I am here for you and will always be here for you. Never ever forget that.

Should I leave it for him to read? I wondered to myself. I had been thinking about him all night, and had to get my emotions out on paper. This situation is going to crazy and out of hand. I love my husband to death, and seeing him this way puts a strain on my family. My children shouldn’t have to watch their father curse to himself and drink on the couch. They shouldn’t have to ask us to stop arguing all the time. How can I save our lives? I can’t do this by myself, this is too much. That is why I need him, but he can’t be there for me right now.

I need to pray, the only thing that can soothe my nerves and save my family is prayer. Hopefully, I will be able to have the wisdom to make the right decision. Goodness, what time is it? I said to myself. I looked at the clock and it read 1:32 in the morning. Oh God where is he? I sighed as I began to cry. Maybe some TV will do me some good, I thought to myself. And as soon as I reached for the remote, the phone rang. Please God, let it be him. I hurriedly picked up the reciever. It was.

“Hey Babe. Look, I’m down at a taxi station in center city. I just need sometime for myself right now. I am gonna go over to Vic’s crib. Please don’t be angry, I’ll be back in a couple days.”

“What !!! Why would you....., I just can’t believe this. Baby, whatever I did I’m sorry. I need you here, at home, with our children. You don’t think things are tough on me too? But I’m NOT running away !!” I said in violent tears.

“You listen to me, I ain’t running away. I just gotta take care of some stuff, and need to chill for awhile that’s all. But I DON’T runaway from nuttin,” he said, and hung up.

Well, if you aren’t running why ain’t you here, I thought to myself. He was a man with pride, but all men are. How could he do something irresponsible ? He needs to be here.

I looked at the note again, and tore it to pieces. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I just love you so much. Please baby come back home. You don’t belong in the streets, you belong with me.