Army

Well I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son you're fucking high"
And I thought, "Yeah there's a first for everything"
So I took my old man's advice
Three sad semesters
It was only 15 grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a mustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick Fil-A
Citing artistic differences,
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
But they got a different name
And nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame
And oh

I've been thinking alot today
I've been thinking alot today

Ah, think I'll write a screenplay
Ah, think I'll take it to L.A.
Ah, think I'll get it done yesterday

In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
"God, please spare me more rejection"
Cause my peers, they critisize me
And my ex-wives all despize me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nippin' at my heels

Been thinking alot today
Been thinking alot today
Been thinking alot today
Been thinking alot today

I thought about the army

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