Most likely LSD. Spends his life pursuing little blue guys in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan to do to the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?
9) OLIVE OYL
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?!!? She might even be anorexic, she is always giving her burger to her friend. Another question: What the hell are Popeye and Brutus thinking? Is it her personality? I don’t think so!
8) Snagglepuss
Can’t explain it. Maybe it’s the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.
7) He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean c’mon. Roid Monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. On top of that he even injects it in his pet tiger. Can we say "Animal Abuse?"
6 & 5) Yogi & Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip.
4) Droopy
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can’t someone slip him an upper every year or two? The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe. Sort of makes you wonder.
3) Dopey Dwarf
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement, but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.
2) Daffy Duck
If he isn’t using crack, Marion Berry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his bill off all the time. Some symptoms might be from ‘daffiness’ but Haldol wouldn’t work for him.
1) Shaggy
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs!! But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does pot no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And look at the way he and his friends painted that van! Pretty rad design dude!?!
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