Giant Plankton with microphone standing on top of seaweed bed
*rap*
I like green kelp and I can not lie
You other plankton can't deny
That when the kelp floats by with a perfect hiding place
If it's not right in your face
You get eaten
By a huge killer whale
You gotta notice that the kelp is stuffed (with plankton)
Deep in the sea it's growing
I'm hooked and I can't stop flowing
Oh, kelp I wanna get wit' ya
And take your picture
My plank-boys tried to teach me
But without that kelp they all got eaten
Ooh, all of that green slime
You say you wanna get some kelp?
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average seaweed
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with all those plankton
Swish, swish, got it goin like a scampi dish
I'm tired of magazines
Saying coral reefs are the thing
Take the average plankton and him that
It's gotta pack much kelp
Plankton (yeah) Plankton (yeah)
Are you hiding in the kelp (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that strand of kelp
The Bay's got kelp
I like'em green and tall
when I'm tryin' not to get mauled
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal ('cause I am one)
Now here's my scandal
I wanna make you a home
And hide, double up 'no there's a whale!'
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicon kelp is made for fishbowls
I wann'em real green and slimy
So find that slimy kelp and try me
Planksalot's in heaven
Beggin for a haven for plankton
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these plankton swimmin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my kelp 'cause I know
A word to the kelp plant sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna hide
Til the break of dawn
I got it goin on
A lot of shrimp won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm small and you're tall
And I'm down tryin' not to get mauled
So kelp beds (yeah), kelp beds (yeah)
If you wanna make 10000000 one-celled friends (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even dolphins' got to shout (or cackle or whatever)
The bay's got kelp
Yeah baby
When it comes to seaweed
Cosmo aint got nothin to do with my selection
(Thank God)
Only if it's green kelp
For you plankton who already got eaten
Playin' out in the reef, I'm repeatin'
You deserve to be food for the whales if your not with seaweed 'n'
My eukaryotic cells don't want none unless you've got kelp hon
You can do dredging or oil drilling, but please don't lose that kelp
Some plankton wanna play that tough role
And tell you that the kelp's too old
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I aint down with that
Cuz your stem is tall and your leaves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the coral reefs in the magazines
You ain't it miss thing
Give me a kelp bed I can't resist her
Sunlight and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his kelp beds were on my list
He had shelter but he chose to split 'em
So the whales pulled up quick to get wit' him
So seaweed if the kelp is green and fun
And you wanna triple X plankton
Dial 1-900-planksalot and kick them nasty thoughts
The Bay's got kelp!
Yes, I know that was insane!