Welcome to QoWTaCO
Quote of Whenever There's A Chipper One!
AKA Cow Taco
Well, folks, you knew it was coming. It's the new humorous quotes from the crew at Insanity Central. This one's got a brand new cast of characters, mostly graduate students in the Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences Department at the University of Wisconsin - Madison.
This page is going to have a different look to it, 'cause it's only going to get updated when there are some good one-liners (or more-than-one liners) flying around. So, there could be a ton on one day, and then none for a couple weeks. Keep your eyes peeled for the newest ones. I'll keep adding the newest ones on the top so you don't have to scroll down.
Well, here goes:
August 2001:
24th:
- Brian (tries Pepsi Twist): 'No, it's bad. It's like someone dumped Pepsi and Sprite in a bottle and shook it up.'
Manda: 'That's it! It's wrong on so many levels that it's right!
23rd:
- Manda shows Gail and Brian a picture of the Mighty Muntjacs softball team.
Brian: 'Hey Manda, isn't this the disgusting game (referring to the game it was really hot and humid and moes were biting everywhere)?'
Manda: 'No, this isn't the disgusting game. I'm wearing pants. At the disgusting game I wasn't wearing pants.'
Much laughter ensues...
July 2001:
4th:
- Mike: 'Even though he's old, I'd still trade places with Hef (Hugh Hefner).'
Tania: 'Isn't he 70? he can't even lift it up anymore.'
June 2001:
30th
- At Gregg & Cheryl's wedding, we're sitting at Table 19
Howard: 'So, Monica, is 19 your favorite number?'
Monica: 'No actually it's 9, then 3, then 6, and then 19.'
- Gail: 'Oh no, I forgot Mrs. Kensington's (cat) birthday and now she's gone. She probably hates me.'
Howard: 'When was it?'
Gail: 'April 3rd.'
Monica: 'Yeah, you're going to start getting severed limbs in the mail with a card that says 'Mrow.' and has a frowny face on it.'
26th
- Da: 'Last weekend I repotted some plants and I finally cleaned the mutant squirrel den of sin off my balcony.' (Note: what the hell is she talking about?)
12th
- Brian: 'I want brats for dinner.'
Da: 'Did I hear my name?'
Gail: 'What? Brats or dinner?'
Da: 'Are you guys cooking out, because I have veggie brats.'
Brian: 'What are veggie brats made of?'
Gregg: 'Plants' anuses.'
Da: 'No, it's vegetable protein.'
Brian: 'Soaked in beer?'
February 2001:
20th
- Gail: 'That guy is too granola-eating, sandal-wearing hippie for me.'
16th
- Jason: 'That guys last name is Hussey? I'd rather have my last name be whore than hussey.'
11th
- Gail: 'I'd totally take my clothes off for a bucket of beer.' (After watching Bud Light commercial)
- Gail: 'I'm a little excited I got called a bitch.' (in floor hockey game)
9th
- Brian: 'They're all sleeper cars on the husk train.'
7th
- Da: 'If I was ever at Mardi Gras, I'd buy a bunch of beads and wear them. Then everyone would think I'm a slut.'
January 2001:
29th
- Gail: 'I don't have antlers. I have a dent in my head.'
23rd
- Mike: 'There's nothing like a few strategically placed toes.'
December 2000:
15th
- Howard: 'So, what's the difference between a kid and a mini-kid?'
Da: 'A mini-kid comes from a miniature goat.'
12th
- Gail: 'That's not frog porn, that's my lunch bag.' (After several comments on what exactly the frogs are doing on her lunch bag)
November 2000:
29th
- Steve: 'I'm having the tostada platter de la something or other.'
- Brian: 'Is it just me, or does Angelina Jolie look like Grampa Simpson?'
25th
- Gail: 'I wanted a twist. Instead I got a gigantic hunk, but I'll take a gigantic hunk.' (Lime at restaurant, c'mon people quit twisting Gail's words...)
17th
- Brian: 'I'm just saying Revees. It doesn't mean I don't care.'
13th
- Gail: 'I've woke up without a shirt on more times than I can count.'
(Much laughter ensues)
'But I've only woke up without any clothes on twice.' (Apparently she has some interesting dreams)
6th
- Gregg: You [Monica] are finally tasting what I've been smelling.' (Salad)
1st
- Gail: 'It's not my goo. It's goo from my box.' (Pizza box, get your mind outta the gutter)
October 2000:
23rd
- Monica: 'This isn't the breast intersection. It's the pussy intersection.' (Needed explanation: Intersection in Madison with Hooters and ChiChi's restaurants - Brian slows down to avoid running yellow light - Monica taunts him for not going through light)
- Brian: 'OK, here's the plan. I leave here right after class. Stop at the Belvidere Oasis for gas, and then run in to the cobra ring machine. That will still leave me enough time to get to O'Hare by the time my Mom gets there.' (Unfortunately the cobra ring machine was replaced by a pokemon machine)
2nd
- Mike: 'What in the name of Garrick Ohlsson is going on here?'
- Mike: 'I couldn't remember what I couldn't remember.'
- Gregg: 'This isn't a bear. It's just a pain in the ass. A bear comes up and kills you. This is making us stronger.' (Homework)
September 2000:
27th
- Gail: 'But Skeletor is so recognizable. Everyone will think I'm a golden whore.' (Explaining why she won't dress up as Shera for Halloween)
26th
- Gregg: 'I really gotta tell ya that Icelandic pole vaulter was hot!'
Gail: 'Huh, huh... you said pole vaulter.'
24th
- Brian: 'Darn, I can't find any more r's for crack whores.' (refrigerator magnets in Gregg, Howard, Monica & company's office)
- Brian: 'I really need to buy Kermit: Unpigged.'
21st
- Kyle: 'I can't believe they're trick or treating on Tuesday night. November 1st I'm just putting on 6 hours of the Crocodile Hunter and hiding behind my desk.'
20th
- Gail: 'You need a new word. I've exhausted all the possibilities of whore.'
June 2000:
13th
- Gregg (complaining about the NOAA Weather Radio voice, which is infamous for its hard-to-understand Scandinavian robot accent): 'And of course you can't understand what Mr. Roboto says. So you say 'Is that my town?' as you perish.'
- Jason Samenow (recently graduated AOS grad student): 'Do they even have the internet here [Prairie du Chien, WI]?'
Gregg: 'They have the internet in Hooker, Oklahoma, for God's sake, they'd better have it here.'
10th
- Gregg (explaining why he doesn't regularly attend church on Sunday morning): 'I know God loves me when I respect his beauty by watching tornado porn.'
Howard: 'There are so many things wrong with that sentence.'
7th
- Melissa: 'Do you think ducks can get drunk?'
May 2000:
10th
- Eric Bayler (AOS grad student): 'Those cookies [that Monica baked] were shrieking at me to come eat them.'
Brian: 'It wasn't the cookies that were shrieking.'
Will (in kid from The Sixth Sense voice): 'I see dead cookies.'
6th
- Melissa: 'We gotta get the muntjac on skis.'
- Monica: 'That's what's weird about guys coming into bars. Why do they always come in pairs? I mean, what if they're a couple? My chances are already ruined.'
1st
- Howard: 'It's apparently OK to electrocute people if you're cute and cuddly. That's the message that Pokemon sends.'
April 2000:
28th
- Howard: 'Yeah, antihistamines really make you groggy.'
Monica: 'It's like your head's made out of shag carpet.'
17th
- Monica: 'I might name my computer Chun Li.'
Brian: 'Chumly?'
Monica: 'No, Chun Li. The Street Fighter character. She's my idol.'
12th
- Monica: 'I'm under a table, not in a closet.'
- Monica: 'What's Repossessed a sequel to?'
Gregg/Brian: 'Possessed.'
10th
- Kyle: 'Hopefully Mosquitor's bloody chest hasn't exploded in the cold weather.' (He-Man action figure, I think)
8th
- Gail: 'That'd be cool. I'm having Skeletor's Baby.' (Note: I'm not quite what sure what the context of this one was...)
- Manda: 'He [Guy from The Wall] is actually more attractive without eyebrows.'
- Gregg: It's a rat-gerbil mix.
Brian: It's a rerbil! (I think this might be talking about some thing in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace).
- Gregg: He's going to score at the age of 8.
Brian: That's why he's evil.
Gregg: He's thinking with his -
Howard: Light Saber.
- Anakin Skywalker (in Phantom Menace): I had a dream I was a Jedi.
Brian: It's like Monica.
Gregg: No, she'd say she was a bug with three legs.
4th
- Gregg: 'All of a sudden I'm a band of the Huns.'
- Gregg: 'Read the writing that you can't read.' (referring to Howard's explanation of Radiation Homework assignment on the chalkboard)
3rd
- Gregg: 'They're talking about real CAPE. I'm talking about CAPE-CAPE.'
1st
- Howard: 'You [Monica] just meowed from the bathroom and you're wondering why we called you a freak?'
- Gregg: 'It's just not an 80's movie without the nudity.'
March 2000:
31st
- Monica: 'He's just like Jigglypuff (Pokemon). He puts me to sleep.'
- Monica: 'Did you ever get that email about Smurfette?'
- Gregg: 'I hope that maid's a linebacker for the Raiders.'
- Gregg: 'I like the one where the deer is smoking.' (billboard)
27th
- Monica: 'What if cinnamon were a type of meat?'
24th
- Marek: 'He's not normal.'
Monica: 'No, he isn't perpendicular.'
- Gregg: 'I knew this was going to come up. The derivative of He-man.'
- Monica: 'Ignorance?'
Will: 'It's good for you. It's like spinach.'
