Don't make these Blunders is your Resume
Below are some examples of mistakes, don't make on your resume...
- My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
- Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.
- I am a rabid typist.
- Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side.
- Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.
- Proven ability to track down and correct errors.
- Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.
- Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
- Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.
- Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.
- Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!
- Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
- I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
- Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
- Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
- Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
- It's best for employers that I not work with people.
- Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
- You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
- Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details.
- Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
- I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
- I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
- I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
- I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
- As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
- Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job.
- Marital status: often. Children: various.
- Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
- The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.