Together For Christmas
By Billy Burrew
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU'RE
NO SON OF MINE!"
JC's head snapped
back as his mother shouted those ten words. The pain they caused
him was greater than any physical pain he had ever before experienced.
He felt as if he couldn't breathe, his heart was racing and
every time he tried to take a breath, it seemed to catch in
his throat.
"GET OUT!!"
JC looked at his
mother once more and his eyes began to overflow with his pain
at her rage and dismissal. He then turned and ran out of the
house, slammed his car door and tore out of the driveway.
JC drove aimlessly,
taking the exit off the beltway to the GW Parkway. He drove
silently, his breath still coming in stunted gasps. A sudden
clanging sound from under the hood of his car got his attention,
and then an enormous plume of steam issued forth from the grill
of his car. JC slowed and pulled off into the nearest parking
lot, cursing his luck as he realized that he had broken down
somewhere in suburban Maryland or Virginia and had left his
cell phone sitting in its charging cradle at his mother's house.
He pulled the release lever for the hood and got out of the
car. He narrowly resisted the urge to kick the tire as he passed
it and finally stood in front of the car. JC reached under the
hood for the little release lever doohickey that he knew he
needed to pull or yank on to open the hood. As he found the
latch and yanked on it, the car gave another popping sound and
again issued forth another enormous belch of steam. JC yelped
as his hands were engulfed in the hot steam and he quickly pulled
them back. JC hissed and shook his hands in the air, blowing
cool air on them one at a time until they cooled off.
"Screw this!"
JC said, "I'll go call inside and call a mechanic and get
a tow."
JC walked over to
the entrance of the building still shaking his hands as they
both began to throb painfully from the steam burns he had just
received.
JC opened the door
to the building and walked in. About midway through the hall
was a large semi-circular desk with a older gentleman in a guard
uniform sitting behind it.
"Hello there!
Happy Holidays! How can I help you?" the man said, smiling
brightly.
"Hi. My car
broke down on the parkway and I pulled in here." JC explained,
"I tried to take a look at it and ended up burning my hands
in the process. Is it possible for me to soak my hands in some
cold water for a few minutes and then call a tow truck?"
The man stood up
and waved him over. "Oh dear! You did do a job on your
hands. Come with me. I'll get one of the nurses to take care
of that for you."
JC started. "Nurses?
Is this a hospital?"
The man shook his
head, "It's a hospice, son. People come here to die."
JC followed the man
silently until he came upon a nurse's station. The man explained
to the one nurse about JC's hands and then nodded to JC as he
left him in her capable care. The nurse looked at JC's hands,
now very red and tutted. She ushered him into a room and instructed
him to wash his hands with some antibacterial soap and lukewarm
water. She then sprayed his hands with some lidocaine and wrapped
them loosely with some gauze.
"I'll get Jeb
to call you a tow truck." the nurse said, "if you
want, you can wait outside or maybe visit with some of our patients."
JC looked up at her,
puzzled.
"A lot of the
people in this hospice don't get many visitors at all. A few
have no family left...so a visit would really help their spirits,
especially with the holidays being so close and all."
JC nodded. "OK.
How long do you think for a tow?"
The nurse smiled,
"In DC? During rush hour? You've got some time, believe
me!"
He snorted and nodded,
realizing that he may be here for quite some time until the
tow truck showed up.
JC walked down the
halls, peering into rooms and looking for someone who was awake
and sitting up or watching television. As he passed a room,
he heard a voice call out a name. He stopped.
"Joshua? Is
that you?"
Josh backpedaled
a bit and stuck his head in the doorway of the room. A very
small, thin old woman was sitting up and looking directly at
him from her bed.
"Joshua! It's
so good to see you! Come in!"
JC looked up at the
patient name on the door, Mrs. Dottie Peterson, and then Ms.
Dottie in quotations beside her name. JC smiled at the very
southern way of calling an older lady Ms. and then using her
first name. JC wondered how that tradition came about. JC was
about to speak and introduce himself, when she reached over
to her bedside table and grabbed a photo.
"It IS you,
Joshua. It's been so long, but you still look just like your
picture."
JC walked closer
to the bed and almost gasped as he saw that the man in the black
and white picture could have passed as his twin.
"Oh Joshua.
It's wonderful to see you back here. I was so worried that you
might not ever come back again."
A nurse entered the
room and gave Miss Dottie some medicine. After she gave her
the set of little pills and the cup of water to take them with,
the nurse beckoned to JC and he excused himself for a minute
and followed her out into the hall.
"Hey. Are you....?"
JC shook his head,
"I'm not related to her, I'm just waiting for a tow truck.
The picture she has of her son looks so much like me that she
thinks I'm her son."
"What do I do?"
The nurse shrugged.
"I guess just play along. Try to keep her calm and happy.
She's dying of a wasting illness...and her doctor has said that
there's nothing more than can be done for her except to keep
her calm and happy. ."
JC nodded slowly.
"Ok. I'll try to keep her calm."
JC walked back over
to the side of the bed and sat down beside the elderly woman.
JC listened as she talked to him about events of the past and
reminisced over things that had happened over previous holidays..
Sooner than he realized,
or would have liked, a nurse knocked on the door and entered
into the room.
"The tow is
here."
JC nodded and then
looked back to the elderly lady.
"Mama. I have
to get going now. My car's busted and there's someone gonna
give me a ride to the service station to get it fixed."
JC got up and pulled
on his coat and then walked back to the bedside.
Ms. Dottie grabbed
JC's arm, gripping it tightly.
"Joshua...I'm
sorry for what I said to you that night, right? I...I was just
shocked...and..and I didn't mean what I said, it was wrong.....I
was wrong. I know...I know it doesn't matter who you love, be
it a guy or a girl, just as long as you're happy....I knew the
moment that I saw your eyes that what I said to you that day
was wrong.....was terrible. You pulled away from me and it was
like the light in your eyes had been snuffed out. And I knew
that it was all my doing, with what I'd said. Please say you
forgive me. I'm so sorry."
Stunned by the coincidence
between Ms. Dottie's arguement with her son, and his mother's
with him, JC sat back down on the bed and nodded. JC looked
at Ms. Dottie's face and saw all the pain and anguish she had
been through since the night of the arguement. He realized then
what he needed to do. "I know Mama. You were upset and
you didn't mean it. I forgive you, Mama."
The anxious expression
on the old woman's face diminished greatly at his words, and
her shoulders heaed once, then lifted as if an incredible weight
had been pulled from them. She took a deep breath and sighed,
then laid back on the pillows. As her eyes closed, JC saw what
looked like a small smile tug at the corners of her wrinkled
mouth.
JC said goodbye quietly
once more and then got up and headed out to the front, where
the driver of the tow truck waited to take him to the service
station.
An hour or so later,
JC watched as the mechanic opened the hood of his car and began
to work on it. He leaned over to the phone beside him and picked
it up and called Lance. Lance answered on the first ring.
"Mrs. C? Is
he back?"
JC cleared his throat.
"Hi Lance. It's me."
Lance's breath caught
for a second before he spoke. "JC! Oh, my God! Where are
you? Where have you been? Your mother has been calling me every
ten minutes for the last hour and a half! She's worried sick!"
JC put his finger
in his ear and moved it around a bit, thinking that he was either
going deaf or hallucinating.
"What did you
just say?" he replied a second later.
"Baby, your
mom called me in a panic. She was crying and saying that you
had left in a terrible state because of what she said. She said
she couldn't call you cause you left your cellphone there. I
asked her what she had said to you and she told me the whole
story. God, JC...why didn't you tell me you were gonna tell
her about us? I'd have been there to back you up."
JC sighed. "I
didn't think she'd take it as badly as she did. I didn't think..."
JC paused, then spoke
again, "What did she say to you? Was she ok to you?"
Lance sniffed. "She
was nervous, but then after a while, she seemed more curious
than anything else. She asked a bunch of questions and then
my mama came in and they talked to each other about us for a
while and she seems to be allright with it now."
JC sat back, still
half stunned by his mother's attitude reversal. "Wow! That's...amazing."
Lance agreed and
then added. "What happened to you? Where are you?"
JC then sat back
and told him the entire story of the car troubles and the hospice,
and about Ms. Dottie and the amazing coincidence between his
mother and her."
Lance sighed. "Oh,
JC That's so nice. I'm so proud of you. I wish I could have
been there with you."
JC smiled. "I
wish you were here too. I want hold you so badly. But I understand
that you wanted to spend Christmas with your mom, too."
"Thank you for
understanding that." Lance replied.
"Thank your
mom for me for talking with my mom about this whole thing, OK?
I've gotta go check on my car." JC said, smiling happily,
and then promised Lance that he'd call his mother after he found
out the condition of his car.
JC chatted with the
receptionist and found out that his car would be ready in about
an hour or so. He went back to the public telephone and dialed
his mother's number.
"JC?!?"
his mother frantic voice answered even before the end of the
first ring. "JC honey, is that you?"
JC nodded and cleared
his throat which had suddenly tightened up, "Yes, Mama.
It's me."
JC stopped as he
heard his mother begin to sob loudly on the phone.
"Mama. I'm at
a service station. My car broke down after I left."
His mother took a
deep breath and stifled a sob. "Oh baby. I'm sorry that
I reacted like that to what you said. I didn't mean what I said
to you."
JC nodded again.
"I know Mama. It's kind of a shock to get news like that."
JC mother was silent
as she considered his words.
"Mama?"
JC said in a low voice. "I love you."
"I love you
too, baby." JC's mother said quietly and then she began
to cry again. JC joined her.
True to the receptionist's
word, JC looked up an hour later as the door to the mechanics
bay opened and the mechanic walked out and then towards him.
JC told his mother that he'd be home as soon as he settled up
his bill and then set the phone back in the cradle. JC listened
as the mechanic detailed what he had fixed on the car. After
the man finished, JC paid the bill and then got into his car
and drove home to a tear-filled evening of apologies and re-bonding
with his mother.
JC awoke early on
Christmas Day, and got up and dressed before everyone else.
He had told everyone of his plans of visiting Ms. Dottie again,
and so, after he finished off a quick breakfast, he headed back
to the hospice.
JC entered the hospice
and smiled at Jeb, the guard he had met the previous day, then
headed over to Miss Dottie's room.
As he entered Ms.
Dottie's room, he noticed that her bed was empty and that all
of her personal belongings were being packed into a small box
by the same nurse that he had spoken to the previous day. The
nurse looked up as he approached and shook her head.
"Oh. sir. I'm
so sorry...but Ms. Dottie passed away in her sleep early this
morning." the nurse said sadly as she picked up a letter
and the picture he had seen on her bedside table the previous
day, "She left this for you, I believe."
JC took the note
and the picture and sat down beside the bed and began to read.
My Dearest Joshua,
I wanted to thank
you for forgiving me for all the things I said to you that night
when you told me you were gay. I'd waited so long for you to
come back so that I could apologize. I needed to know that you'd
forgiven me before I could move on. My time here on earth should
have been over long ago, but I kept going, hoping and praying
that you would come back so that we could talk, just once more.
You're a good
boy, and I'm proud to have you as my son.
I love you, Joshua.
Goodbye.
Mama
JC's face was wet
with tears as he finished reading the letter. He looked down
at the picture and sighed sadly.
JC looked up as a
older, bespectacled doctor came and stood in the doorway of
the hospital room.
"Hello there.
I am Dr. Goldstein. I was Ms Dottie's doctor. I wanted to stop
in and thank you."
JC looked up, bewildered
at the doctor. "What for?"
The doctor walked
in and put his hand on JC's shoulder and squeezed. "Ms.
Dottie had been so close to death over the last few years. I
honestly don't know what was keeping her alive, besides her
own sheer stubborn will. She kept insisting that her son would
come back someday and that they would talk again. She never
told me what happened on the night of the fight those 25 years
ago, just that she'd made a terrible mistake and kicked her
son out. I found out that he'd been involved in a head-on automobile
crash. He was dead before they made it to the emergency room.
She'd begun to check out mentally after that...going for days
and weeks at a time without speaking. I think, over the past
five years here, I'd only heard her speak out once, maybe twice.
Imagine my surprise when I get a call from my nurse telling
me that not only is she speaking to someone who looks like her
dead son, but that he's playing along with her, humoring her,
and in doing so, granting her one last wish. Thank you for making
her think her son had come back and forgiven her. She was in
so much pain from her wasting sickness...she had pain that no
painkiller could come close to touching. She spent the last
part of her life out of her mind with grief, and physically
wasting away as she kept waiting for her son to come back and
forgive her...so that she could finally let go and die. Thank
you for giving her a peaceful death. I've been her doctor for
over ten years and I can tell you that, whatever falling out
she and her son had those 25 years ago, she's paid her time
in hell for it here on earth living day to day the way she was
there at the end. Thank you for finally helping her to set things
right, she deserved to pass on like she did, finally at peace
with the world."
JC stared at the
doctor, too shocked to say anything in reply. The doctor squeezed
JC's shoulder, thanked him again and then left. JC sat for a
few moments and then took the letter and picture and put them
in his coat pocket. JC called his mother and then Lance and
told them both what had happened and then got up from his seat
and headed home.
As JC headed back
to his house, he was overcome by a mix of emotions over the
death of Ms. Dottie. Sadness that she died, but a happiness
and satisfaction that her death was a peaceful, almost joyous
one, and, as the doctor said, he had played a major role in
helping that happen. JC was completely lost in his thoughts
as he parked his car and entered his house.
JC's mom stood up
as he came into the living room and walked over and hugged him.
They sat for a while and talked as the rest of the family in
the house woke up and began coming down for breakfast. A ring
of the doorbell caused JC's mom to get up and smile.
"I think the
door's for you, honey."
JC looked at his
mother curiously for a minute before getting up and heading
over to the front door and opening it up.
JC's heart raced
as, standing on the front porch was Lance, his mother and the
rest of the Bass family. Lance smiled brightly and then enveloped
him in a long hug that ended with short kiss.
"Merry Christmas,
C." Lance said merrily.
"Lance!"
JC exclaimed, "But I thought you were gonna be in Mississippi."
Lance shook his head,
"I talked with my Mama and she said that as long as we
were all together, it didn't matter where we spent Christmas,
here or in Mississippi. So I called your mom and we put our
heads together and came up with us all coming up here and spending
Christmas with your family."
JC looked over at
his mom who smiled a warm smile at the two of them. "Merry
Christmas, boys."
JC looked at Lance
through his tear-blurred eyes and then pulled him into another
tight hug.
"Looks like
we both got our Christmas wishes, huh C?" Lance said smiling
widely
JC looked into Lance's
eyes. "We did?"
Lance nodded, still
smiling. "When we talked yesterday, I wished I was here,
and you wished you could hold me."
JC nodded sagely
and then smiled. "Yeah. I did wish for that, didn't I?
How many times do I get to use my wish?"
Lance laughed as
JC hugged him close. "It's Christmas, baby, as many times
as you want."
-The End
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