PRACTICE THE 4 STEPS FOR
DEALING WITH FEELINGS
1. IDENTIFY FEELING.
* Its important not to deny feelings or to suppress them. If you do they'll eat your lunch. Feelings come up when you are ready to handle them.
* Identify it, them (Check LIST OF FEELINGS choose a feeling. Many people have trouble recognizing their feelings, the list will help.)
2. OWN IT
* THEY ARE YOUR FEELINGS AND ALL ARE OK. FEELINGS ARE NOT RIGHT OR WRONG. THEY JUST ARE. THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL. RIGHT OR WRONG COMES FROM HOW YOU ACT. FEELINGS ARE IMPORTANT, THE MOTIVATORS IN LIFE. ITS WHEN WE LET THEM PUSH US AROUND WHEN THEY ARE A PROBLEM. READ STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP.
* FOR INSTANCE: ANGER IS A POSITIVE DESIRE TO CHANGE THINGS WHEN DIRECTED. ANGER IS OFTEN INVOLVED IN CHANGING THINGS, a needed emotion.
A. IMPORTANT TO SAY "I FEEL ANGRY" NOT "YOU MADE ME ANGRY". OR " THAT MADE ME ANGRY".
3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FEELING.
Remember, I chose it (The feelings I have) I choose my response to every situation ! If others can push my button then they control me, I'm like a robot. I TAKE CHARGE OF MY FEELINGS OR THEY TAKE CHARGE OF ME.
4. RESOLVE TO DEAL WITH IT, WRITE IT DOWN.
* GET A CLUE AS TO WHAT MAKES YOU FLIP. WHEN YOU GET THE SIGNAL - DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH. SAY "STAMP OUT FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE."
A. DEAL WITH IT LIKE THIS:
If its one you like and in your best interest, reinforce it.
If its one you don't like and not in your best interest. Say your anger is destructive:
a. Write it down, get it out of your system. Don't let anyone see it. Tear it up, flush it down the "John", or burn it.
b. Tell a trusted friend.
c. Tape record, hide, listen to several days later, erase, see it gone.
d. See yourself in charge, you're bigger than the feeling, you're better than that.
ITS IMPORTANT TO PRACTICE AND
FOLLOW THE STEPS IF YOU WANT SOME CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE. PRACTICE MAKES
PERMANENT.
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