SESSION #1’S SELF-ESTEEM BASICS
FIRST, I AM NOT A THERAPIST and I don’t claim to know all the answers. I will share what I have learned and how it has helped me and how it will help you in you work at it. The information is given in a self-help context..
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR A PERSON TO GO THROUGH LIFE FEARFUL, SHY FILLED WITH ANXIETY, AND HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM, FEELING BAD ABOUT ONES SELF - UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO.
I FOUND THE INFORMATION IN THIS WORKSHOP IS SO IMPORTANT THAT WHEN I HEARD IT, IT CHANGED MY LIFE ! That's why I want to share it.
I BELIEVE THAT THIS INFORMATION IS SO IMPORTANT
THAT I FEEL ITS BASIC INFORMATION EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW !
That’s why I want to share it.
No one is born with low self-esteem. IF YOU HAVE
LOW SELF-ESTEEM, SOME WHERE ALONG THE LINE YOU WERE SOLD ON THE NOTION THAT YOU
HAD LITTLE OR NO VALUE AND COULDN'T ACCOMPLISH MUCH. AND YOU BOUGHT IT !
WHAT WE WILL BE ABOUT IS TO CHANGE WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM TO THE PLACE WHERE YOU HAVE AN ACCURATE CONCEPT OF YOUR TRUE VALUE AS A HUMAN BEING, YOUR “AUTHENTIC” OR “TRUE SELF”. YOU WILL BE ASTOUNDED.
IT WILL TAKE TPP: TIME, + PRACTICE +
PERSISTENCE, ITS A PROCESS !
Its important to recognize
the RESULTS ARE IN THE DOING
ITS QUITE SIMPLE
BUT NOT EASY!!! CHANGE COMES IN MANY SMALL STEPS.
Here is a most astounding discovery and realization of the 20th Century and the BASIS OF THIS WORKSHOP. In another session I'll talk about the 2nd most important discovery of the 20th Century.
ONES SELF IMAGE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BELIEF IN
ONES BELIEF SYSTEM. ITS THE PRIMARY DEFINER OF WHAT I
CAN DO AND THE PRIMARY LIMITER OF WHAT I UNDERTAKE. SELF IMAGE DIRECTS ME TO BE
WHO I AM, WHAT I AM, AND HOW WELL I PERFORM. CHANGE MY SELF IMAGE AND NOT ONLY
DO I CHANGE BUT THE WHOLE WORLD CHANGES - FOR THE
BETTER.
It’s the picture you have of yourself. {If you get that, the course is already worthwhile because your life will be changed !!
Do you understand that :
FEELING DUMB -IS BIGGEST BARRIER TO- BEING SMART
BEING SELF CONSCIOUS -IS BIGGEST BARRIER TO- BEING SPONTANEOUS
FEELING INADEQUATE -IS THE BIGGEST BARRIER TO- BEING SUCCESSFUL
WHY? = THE SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY!
THE BRAIN CAN BE RETRAINED. IT'S A MARVELOUS INSTRUMENT AT YOUR COMMAND. YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW HOW TO RETRAIN IT.
+ YOU ARE NOT STUCK WITH THE FEELINGS YOU HAVE. "THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM" IS NOT TRUE.
BASIC TRUTH: EVERY HUMAN BEING HAS INTRINSIC
VALUE DESERVING OF BEING TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT THEREFORE I AS A
HUMAN BEING AM DESERVING OF BEING TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.
FIRST, EVERY ONE IS BORN OK. EVERY PERSON HAS AN
INTRINSIC VALUE SIMPLY BECAUSE S/HE IS HUMAN. WE JUST NEED TO RECOGNIZE THAT OR
OUR PERCEPTION IS INACCURATE. (Intrinsic like grain in
wood. The essential nature of a thing.)
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR LOW SELF-ESTEEM CAME FROM ? No one is born with low self-esteem. IF NOT
BORN WITH IT, WHERE FROM ?
WE GOT OUR LOW SELF ESTEEM FROM OUR PARENTS AND HOME ENVIRONMENT WHICH WAS PASSED DOWN FROM THEIR PARENTS AND ENVIRONMENT.
MOST CRITICAL: When the S-I is formed:
THE FROM THE 2ND TRIMESTER TO THE AGE OF 3 (90% of brain growth by age
3.) & HOW I INTERPRETED ON WHAT WAS SAID AND DONE. IT WAS WHAT WE
BELIEVED AND TOOK AS TRUTH THAT BUILT OUR SELF IMAGE WHO WE BELIEVE WE ARE. WHO
I BELIEVE I AM !
WE ARE STILL CARRYING THOSE EARLY IMPRESSIONS
AND STILL THINK THEY ARE TRUE
EVEN THOUGH THEY AREN'T.
WE HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED AND WE STILL RUN THOSE TAPES. UNLESS
WE HAVE CONSCIOUSLY CHOSEN TO REPROGRAM AND CHANGE.
WE ARE RIGHT NOW THE COMBINATION OF OUR DNA
AND OUR INTERPRETATION OF OUR EXPERIENCE TO DATE. !
REPETITION ----->HABIT------> DO, FEEL UNCONSCIOUSLY -----> BELIEF
That's
how the brain works, a very valuable asset and benefit to us when used to our
advantage.
The more times a brain neuron path or pattern
is used, the easier to use next tim !
MOST IMPRESSIONS WERE LEARNED NON-VERBALLY AND THEY WENT INTO THE SUB-CONSCIOUS WITHOUT EVALUATION. ACCEPTED AS REAL AND TRUE.
- It's a frown, a
stern look, or a look of exasperation !
NO BLAME !
PARENTS ARE NOT TO BLAME, PARENTS DID THE BEST THEY COULD.
I they (we) could have done better they (we)
would have.
THE VERY SAME THING HAPPENED TO YOUR PARENTS !!!!!!!
(Only mistake - Not aware or
not knowing how to extricate themselves.)
STAY HOOKED ON BLAME AND YOU'LL NEVER MOVE ON TO
A SOLUTION.
EVERY PERSON DOES THE BEST HE/SHE CAN WITH THE
INFORMATION & EXPERIENCE HE/SHE HAS. MADE THE VERY BEST CHOICES THAT COULD !!!!!
WE HAVE A SAY IN OUR RESPONSE TO EVERY SITUATION
AND TO FEEL THE WAY WE DO. IT IS OUR RESPONSE!!
WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT ?
MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE.
CHANGE YOUR INFORMATION, WHAT YOU KNOW !!! THEN MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE.
WHAT HAPPENED CANNOT BE CHANGED. BUT, YOUR
RESPONSE TO IT, YOUR INTERPRETATION CAN BE CHANGED.
FIRST STEP: TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE !!! *****TAKE
CHARGE !! *******
IN CHARGE OF HOW WE FEEL. HOW WE FEEL ABOUT/SEE OURSELVES. HOW WE FEEL IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS IS IMPORTANT. HOW WE DEAL WITH THOSE FEELING IS CRITICAL.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, Daniel Goleman: FEELINGS PLAY A MAJOR PART IN OUR LIVES !!
====> Involved in ever y logical
decision we make ! <====
OUR FEELINGS ARE OUR RESPONSE TO THINGS THAT
HAPPEN & THROUGH REPETITION BECOME AN AUTOMATIC RESPONSE. OUR BUTTON GETS
PUSHED AND OUR VCR IS TURNED ON AND WE HAVE A TAPE TO RUN. The automatic
response !!
THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN OUR LIVES THAT HAVE EVOKED STRONG FEELINGS. SOME OF THESE ARE ON THE SURFACE MOST ALL OF THE TIME. OTHERS WERE JUST TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH SO WE HAVE PUT THEM ASIDE IN THE SUB-CONSCIOUS. THAT'S A SURVIVAL MECHANISM. WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THESE FEELINGS.
Emotional Intelligence: Amygdala -->
immediate survival mechanism 1st, then examine rationally.
THOSE FEELINGS INVOLVED WITH SURVIVAL
REQUIRES PERSISTENT DILIGENCE TO CHANGE !!
IF
SUPPRESS WILL HAVE A BODY REACTION. THE BODY WILL SUFFER. i.e.
ULCERS !
YOU ARE MASTER OF WHAT YOU OWN. IF YOU DISOWN
THEM THEY WILL BE THE MASTER
OVER YOU !! THEY WILL EAT YOUR LUNCH.
DEALING WITH FEELINGS: IF YOU DON'T DO STEP
FOUR NOTHING WILL CHANGE !!!
Its important to practice
and follow the steps if you want some changes in your life. Practice doesn't
make perfect. PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENT.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE
?? IT DEPENDS ON THE SEVERENESS OF THE TRAUMA ?
I HAVE MADE GREAT PROGRESS BUT SOME TIMES MY RAGE TAKES OVER.
AXIOM: IF EVER I AM TO BE MASTER OF MY OWN
FATE, I MUST RECOGNIZE THAT I CHOSE TO BE WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW
? Through a series of small choice ! !
GIVE UP CONFLICTS: FOR THE TIME BEING, WHILE
TAKING THIS WORKSHOP, MAKE EVERY EFFORT NOT TO GET INTO CONFLICT OR ARGUMENTS
WITH YOUR SPOUSE, FRIENDS, OR ENEMIES. I WANT YOU TO SAVE YOUR ENERGIES
FOR MAKING THE POSITIVE DECISIONS AND EFFORTS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE,
FOREVER.
Billy Deane Lilly, Instructor “Building Self-Esteem”