c:\mydocs\esteem3\handouts\selfmatr.wps added “be” to end of nxt to last PP
SELF MATTERS: CREATING YOUR
LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT
BY: PHILLIP C. McGRAW, Ph.D.
Simon & Schuster
This book by Dr. McGraw is the best I have seen on developing self-esteem in my nearly fifteen years of doing the "Building Self-Esteem" workshop. The principles and concepts are the same as I have attempted to convey in the workshop but presented in a different way and with a means to make changes in your life.
If you are truly interested in building your self-esteem and to come from your authentic self, this book is a must.
To introduce you to the book let me describe Dr. Mcgraw approach as it compares to mine.
Dr. McGraw uses the term "core self" or the "authentic self" as I do but I also use the term "true self". This is the self that one was meant to be. The core self is a powerful place and when one comes from there there is the sense of "being" and of "being empowered". This relates to what is referred to as the "self-image". When we have not chosen or have not been allowed to align with our core self, for whatever reason, we create what Dr. Phil calls a "fictional self" or what I call a "pretend self" to come from. What might also be called a persona. Dr. Phil points out that the incongruence between these selves, or what I call the gap, leads one to feel that your life is incomplete and more difficult than it should be. What may be called "not with it" or not in "the zone", not “functioning fully”.
Dr. McGraw has developed a series of key questions and what he calls an amazingly clear "map" to begin your journey to "Live by Design". What I call "Taking charge of your Life." These are questions that, with the help of the book, you can answer and bring into action-oriented focus:
* What are the ten most defining moments of your life?
* What are the seven most critical choices you have made to put you on your current path?
* Who are the five most pivotal people in your world and how have they shaped you?
It is through identifying and working with these key elements that Dr. Phillip C. McGraw's latest book, Self Matters, will be at the heart of your own new work: you.
It is stated in reference to the book: "Now, Dr. Phil takes a great leap forward and explores one of the most challenging questions facing us all: When you look in the mirror, who is truly hiding beneath that face? Instead of taking a surface look at the way we live our lives, Dr. Phil demystifies how your selfconcept came to be and gives a nuts-and-bolts approach to creating a new plan for living and, in turn, for discovering the real you.
In this groundbreaking work, Dr. Phil challenges you to find your 'authentic self'- that person you once were before life took its toll. It is you at your greatest, most fulfilled, most real moment."
The good news is that those working in the field of the core self know life no longer needs to be that way. It is my judgment that by reading through the plan set forth in Self Matters, "Dr. Phil helps you to demystify your self-concept and helps you learn how to reclaim your authentic self". In evaluating your life by only the facts, you can learn to think beyond the excuses and fears that have masked the person you have always wanted to be.
As I said at the beginning, this book is the best I have seen on the subject. Self Matters is one of the most forward-thinking works on self-concept and self-esteem ever published. For the first time, an author tells it how it is and, in the process, teaches us all how to live the lives we have always wanted but prevented ourselves from living. Though I have been working on my self-esteem for a number of years, I plan to go through Dr. Phil's process. I invite you to go through the process with me.
Billy Deane Lilly,
Instructor, "Building Self -Esteem".
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