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What Could He Be Thinking?

How a Man's Mind Really Works
(September, 2003)

Michael Gurian



Finally! Figure out your husband! Men are such a puzzle. Are they serious when they say, "Don't worry so much, the kids are fine?" Actually, yes, says Michael Gurian, a noted author and therapist, in his new book, WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? (St. Martins Press). Using research on male and female brains, he explains some perplexing behavior, like why men can remember last year's baseball stats but not yesterday's conversation, and more.

--Parenting Magazine, September 2003

THE BRAIN SCIENCE

In relationships between women and men, brain science is a goldmine of human understanding. The male and female brain are formed in utero. There are distinct genetic components of "male" and "female" that predate learned behavior as well. So, while women and men are certainly formed by their upbringing, what makes them distinctly "women" or "men" is actually locked in the brain. It is affected by our childhood nurturing, but it is not changed. The new brain sciences allow us to tap into who we really are, in ways that empower and help. They are a path toward true equality between women and men, and they hold the key to lasting relationships.

In WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? Michael Gurian focuses on what is happening inside the minds of men--their motivations, feelings, relationships, needs and point-of-view, mining brain science for its answers to such questions as:

· How is the male brain different than the female brain?
· How do men's hormones make their brains work differently than women's (and     not just in areas of sexuality!)
· Why do men tend to remember different details and ideas than women do?
                                                                                                                       

 

· Do men feel as much emotion as women do in their love-relationships? If not, why       not?
· Why don't men notice how much housework needs to be done?
· Why do fathers tend to bond differently with children than mothers?
· What strengths do male biology and the male mode of feeling bring to marriage?
· Why do women tend to find someone to talk to when they're stressed, while men          tend to deal with stress without as many words and close relationships?
· What are the biological reasons for men's obsession with their work?
· How does a woman get a man to commit his whole self to her?
· Why do men feel like they have to keep such a grip on the TV remote control?

WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? points out not only the ways in which men are biologically and neurally set to act, but also suggests that there are untapped advantages to the male way of being, and to women's mastery of that way In WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?, Michael Gurian has made a profound statement about the role of men in modern culture, and suggests a way for men and women to thrive together in what he calls "intimate separateness." The brain, he says, doesn't just seek more intimacy; it also seeks less intimacy at different times. This book offers a new harmony through intimate separateness that can help men and women create stronger, happier relationships.

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