Chapter 1
The doorbell rang and Mac hurried down the hall to answer it. She wiped her hands on the dishtowel that was in her hands and opened the door with a smile.
"Hi!" she greeted Brittany.
"Hi Mac." Brittany smiled walking past her.
"Hi Billy," Mac smiled hugging him. "I'm so glad you two could make it to dinner!"
"We wouldn't miss a chance to eat some of your homecooking." Billy replied removing his coat and then helping Brittany with hers.
"J.T. honey?" Mac called up the stairs. "Billy and Brit are here!"
"I'll be right there!" he called back.
"He's watching the game, in fact he's been doing that all day!" Mac laughed.
"Ah...I think I'll go see if I can get him to come down." Billy offered as he headed up the stairs.
"We won't see them till dinner!" Brittany laughed knowing that he wanted to watch the game too. Mac smiled and led Brittany into the kitchen.
"It'll just give us a chance to catch up." Mac said as she checked on the roast in the oven.
"Can I help with something?" Brittany asked.
"Um, I think everything is under control." Mac replied. "But thanks for offering. We should be eating soon."
"It all smells so good," Brittany commented. "I bet you've been here all day."
"Actually I have, but cooking seems to calm me." Mac replied sitting down on one of the stools. "So tell me, what have you and Billy been up to? Your two year anniversary was last week right?" Brittany nodded then smiled, "He took me to the Colonade Room it was so romantic, with roses everywhere!"
"Wow," Mac smiled. "You are a lucky girl!"
"Sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve him," Brittany remarked. "I sometimes find myself wondering if he wouldn't have been happier with someone else..." Mac smiled at her and then rubbed her hand.
"Whether you know it or not, you deserve him more than anyone." Mac said. Brittany sighed and then changed the subject.
"So isn't your two year anniversary next week?" she asked as Mac stood and checked on the corn and potatoes on the stove.
"Yeah, but J.T. is pretty hush hush about it." Mac laughed. "He made a big deal out of it last year, so this year I'm not sure what to be prepared for!"
"Whatever it is, it will be amazing." Brittany smiled. "You can tell by the way he looks at you that he's crazy about you. He'd do anything to make you happy."
Mac blushed and then shurgged, "I love him so much." she said removing the pans from the stove.
"I can see that," Brittany remarked. "But he feels exactly the same way!"
"I think dinner's ready." Mac replied.
"Good, I'll go fetch the guys." Brittany smiled. "Give me a sec, it may take me a little persuasion to get them out from in front of the television." Mac laughed and then watched Brittany leave the room. Several minutes later they were all gathered around the dining room table.
J.T. poured the wine and then Mac said, "I'll make the toast since no one else wants to."
"Go for it babe." J.T. smiled, squeezing her hand.
"Well, I just wanted to say how happy I am that you two could be with us tonight. I know we don't get together as much as we'd like, but you're both very special to J.T. and me." Mac said. "You two are our closest friends and I hope it stays that way!"
"Cheers!" Billy agreed as they all raised their glasses wih smiles.
Chapter 2
J.T. drove down the dark road, squinting to see through the sheets of rain that fell outside. "D*mn!" he hissed. "Where did this storm come from?" The streetlights flickered and then dimmed as he continued to drive towards home, and he cursed again. "It just came out of nowhere." he told himself trying to look out the window at the dark sky. Suddenly lightening flashed and then thunder rumbled. He flipped on his high beams and peered through the darkening night. Suddenly the streetlights darkened completely making it impossible to see more than several feet in front of him. As the rain continued to pound the car J.T. heard his cell phone ring. He fumbled through his briefcase that sat next to him and finally found it, answering it on the fifth ring. "Hello?" he answered swerving to miss a fallen branch in the road.
"J.T.?" Mac said. "Are you there? There's a lot of static."
"Hey babe!" he shouted. "I was just thinking about you and your beautiful brown eyes."
He heard her laugh and then she asked, "Where are you? The storm is getting pretty bad."
"I should be home soon, but it's taking longer to get there because of the storm." he explained.
"Well be careful," she warned. "I want you home safe and sound."
"I will and can't wait to see you."
"I love you." she said.
"I love you more." he teased before he hung up the phone. He tossed it onto the seat next to him and then concentrated on the road in front of him again. As he drove down the road he turned a corner and all of a sudden another car came out of nowhere and swerved into his lane. "What the h*ll?" he cried turning the wheel. The other car sped past him but as he straighten his wheels out they locked up and he shot forward towards a telephone pole."Oh G**!" he cried, just as the car smashed into it. He groaned Mac's name softly and then everything went black.
An hour after Mac hung up the phone she paced the living room floor wondering where he was. "God," she prayed. "Don't take him away from me! I need him!" She looked at the clock on the wall across the room and then walked over to look out the window for the millionth time. "Where are you J.T.?" she sighed. "You should had been home by now!" She thought back to their conversation earlier remembering him saying, 'I should be home soon, but it's taking longer to get there because of the storm.' "How long is longer?" she asked herself. "Not this long....." Suddenly she had a feeling flash through her and she leaned against the sofa for support. Suddenly the phone rang and she jumped in surprise. "Hello?" she answered in a soft voice.
"Mac is that you?" Billy asked. "It's Billy, I am calling to find out how you're getting through the storm?"
"Yes." she replied.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"No," she sighed. "J.T. isn't home yet and he should had been here by now!"
"Mac settle down, I am sure the storm got too bad and he stopped to wait it out." Billy assured her.
"But he has a cell phone, so I am sure he would have called." she insisted.
"Maybe the cell phone towers are out." Billy suggested.
"The wind is blowing pretty hard.....maybe." she sighed. "But I just have a feeling that something is wrong."
"Do you want Brittany and me to come over?" he questioned.
"I wouldn't want you out in the storm." she replied.
"Mac, we're only two blocks away, it's nothing." he insisted. "We'll be right over, okay?"
"Okay." Mac nodded. She hung up the phone then looked at the clock again before walking over and looking outside. "J.T.....where are you?" she asked as tears filled her eyes. Suddenly the doorbell rang and she thought, 'That can't be Billy!'.
Chapter 3
Mac walked to the door nervously and paused before turning the knob. She took a deep breath and pulled it open. She gasped at the sight of two officers standing in front of her and tears filled her eyes.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"Are you Mrs. Holstrom?" one of them asked.
She nodded and then asked, "What is this about?"
"Yes what is this about?" Billy asked from behind them.
"Billy!" she said with relief.
"Are you a family friend?" the officer asked.
Billy nooded and then the officer said, "We need to speak with you."
"Okay," Billy agreed. "Mac wait in the house. I'll be inside in a second."
"No, Billy I want to know what this is about!" she insisted.
"Mac just go!" he argued. Mac frowned and then closed the door.
Moments later Billy came in with tears in his eyes. Mac saw him and her heart lept.
"What's the matter?" she asked. Billy stared at her for a moment from the doorway and then walked over to sit next to her on the couch. "Billy tell me!" she pushed. "Is it J.T.?"
"Mac...earlier tonight....they found J.T.'s car smashed against a telephone pole."
"Oh G**!" she cried, her hand flying to her mouth. "Was he....inside?" Billy was silent and suddenly she cried out "G** no, Billy!" she sobbed. "Is he....is he dead?" Billy nodded and she threw herself into his arms, sobbing hysterically. "No, no! He can't be dead!" she said. "I talked to him earlier and he was fine....on his way home. It has to be a mistake!"
"It's not." he said as he smoothed down her hair. "They found him in the car. He was killed instantly...he didn't suffer! And you know he was thinking of you when he died."
"You told me everything was fine!" she accused him. "You lied! Why didn't you believe me when I told you something was wrong?"
"I'm sorry Mac," he said now crying himself. "I didn't know! I wish it were me instead of him, but I can't change things. I would if I could, but I can't! I'm just so sorry!" Suddenly the doorbell rang and Billy went to answer it.
Brittany stood on the front steps and said, "I saw the police leaving, what happen?"
"J.T. had a an accident tonight and...." he explained.
"No..." she gasped, her hand covering her mouth. "Not J.T.! How's Mac?"
"Not good." he replied letting her in.
"Oh Billy, I'm so sorry." she whispered hugging him closely. Billy nodded and then followed her into the room. "Mac...." Brittany sighed. Mac looked up and started to sob again. She sat there for a moment then Brittany sat next to her and wrapped her arms around Mac and cradled her. "Everything is going to be okay," she assured her. "Billy and I are here for you. We'll help you get past this."
"He's gone Brittany," she cried. "It's not possible! We were supposed to be together....forever."
"I know." Brittany said softly glancing at Billy who was wiping tears of his own away. "Mac, I am going to get you something to drink." Brittany said. "I'll be back." She stood and motioned for Billy to follow her.
They entered the kitchen and Brittany turned to him and asked, "How did it happen?"
"They didn't tell me much." he replied.
"Well what did they tell you?" she pushed.
"That the storm caused him to lose control and before he knew it he slammed into the telephone pole. He was dead before he knew what hit him." he explained.
"Which means he didn't suffer, thank God for that." Brittany whispered. "How long before they found him?"
"Not long, someone came upon him and called 911, but there was nothing they could do." Billy replied.
"Poor Mac." Brittany sighed pouring her a glass of water. They then walked back into the living room, but when they entered the room they discovered that Mac had disappeared. "Where did she go?" Brittany asked looking around. Billy and Brittany looked around downstairs and then Billy headed upstairs. He passed the den and he heard her soft sobs.
"Mac...." he called softly. "Where are you?" He heard her crying again and he entered the room. He looked around the room and didn't see her, and then his gaze settled on a large over stuffed chair that had its back to him. He walked around it and found her curled up clutching a picture of J.T.
"Why did he leave me?" she asked. "Didn't he love me? Didn't he need me anymore?"
"Of course he needed you," Billy insisted crouching in front of her. "And as far as whether he loved you or not, you could see it in his eyes everytime he looked at you. You were his world, his entire universe Mac! I swear to you, he didn't want to leave you." Mac looked at him and wiped her eyes.
"Billy...." she said finally.
"Yes." he replied.
"What do I do now?" she questioned. "I mean my life revolved around him and now he's gone!"
"Things will be hard," he said. "But with help you will move on and learn to live without him." Mac's eyes filled with tears again and Billy reached up and pulled her into his arms where he rocked her back and forth until she was sound asleep. Then he carried her to bed and sat there watching her sleep until the sun shown in the sky the next morning.
Chapter 4
Several days later Mac stood surrounded by family and friends as she said good-bye to J.T. As the pastor spoke her eyes filled with tears and she collasped into Billy's arms. All she heard was, "Ashes to ashes dust to dust" and she blocked out the rest, not wanting to believe it was true. Billy held her tightly and as the casket was lowered into the ground he saw Mac watch it as if the top was open and J.T. would sit up just like nothing had ever happened. But in truth J.T. was gone, gone forever and there was nothing any of them could do about it. Mac stepped away from Billy and stared down at the grave. She picked up a handful of dirt and tossed it on top and then tossed a rose along with it that she had in her hand. Her hand clutched her chest and she started to sob again. 'Why did you leave me?' she asked herself. 'I loved you and you left me... forever! Now what am I supposed to do? My life is nothing without you....nothing!' Her sobbing increased and her legs collasped underneath her. Billy saw her sway and he rushed to her, taking her in his arms.
"Come on Mac," he whispered. "It's time to go."
"No," she cried. "He's all alone! I can't leave him!"
"It's not him," he insisted. "J.T. is gone but he'll always be with you." Mac cried against his shoulder and allowed him to lead her to the car. He helped her inside and then opened the other door for Brittany. He then climbed in and slid behind the wheel and started the car. As they drove away Billy watched Mac in his review mirror. He watched her stare at the grave site and even as it disappeared she continued to stare.
"Good-bye...." she whispered.
Later at the house after everyone had left Mac wandered around staring at everything that reminded her of J.T. She made her way to his den and stopped outside, wondering if she should go in. She sighed to herself and entered nervously looking around the room. After she walked in circles for several times taking in her surroundings she finally settled into the overstuffed chair and stared at a picture of them across the room that had been taken last spring. As she remembered that day the picture was taken, her eyes filled with tears, but she wiped them away. She didn't want to cry, she'd cried enough, and crying wouldn't bring him back. Nothing would! As she sat there she imagined him sitting at his desk filling out paperwork and watching some sports game on the television that was across the room. She then imagined him sitting in the very chair she was sitting in staring into the fire on a cold winter night. This room was his favorite and she remembered the times she often had to drag him out of it. She smiled to herself and then stood up, looking around the room again. She then walked to the door and then into the hallway, closing the door behind her. No one would ever enter that room again. She wanted it left just as he had left it that morning he'd left for work. She walked further down the hall and into their bedroom where her mind wandered to the last moments that she had seen him alive. She had still been in bed when he had gotten ready to leave for the office and before he'd walked out the door, he'd walked over to her and kissed her lovingly. 'I love you', he'd whispered softly against her ear. She'd smiled and said, 'I love you too...I miss you!' He'd smiled back and then walked to the door. 'Oh, before I forgot I have a surprise for you when I get home tonight.' Her eyes lit up and she smiled watching him leave.
'The surprise....', she thought to herself. 'What could it have been?' she had forgotten all about it until now and she wondered where it was. She instantly thought of his car and wondered where it was. She quckly picked up the phone and dialed a number.
"Hello?" Brittany answered.
"Brit, it's Mac." she said.
"Mac is everything okay?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah, but can I talk to Billy?" Mac asked.
Brittany's voice suddenly turned cold and she said, "Let me get him." Mac wondered about the tone, but forgot about it the moment she heard Billy's voice.
"Mac what is it?" he asked worriedly.
"Where is J.T.'s car?" she asked.
"Why?" he questioned.
"I just need to know," she replied. "Where is it?"
"At Al's Auto Garage," he replied. "But it's totaled Mac, there's nothing you could want."
"I'll make that decision," she replied. "I'll call you later!"
"Mac wait...." he said but all he heard was a dial tone.
"What did she want?" Brittany asked.
"It was nothing." he replied not turning to look at her.
"You're always hiding something!" she snapped.
"Don't start Brit," he cried. "I'm not in the mood!"
"Fine!" she hissed leaving the room.
Mac hunged up the phone and looked at the clock. It was only five o'clock, so she still had time to get to the garage. She grabbed ger car keys and headed out to her car.
Chapter 5
Mac arrived at the garage and hopped out of her car. She walked into the building and approached the front desk.
"May I help you?" the woman at the front desk asked.
"I hope so," Mac frowned. "My name is Mackenzie Holstrom and they told me my husband's car was brought here?"
"Oh yes dear," the woman frowned. "I'm so sorry for your loss, but yes we have his car. Follow me honey." Mac followed her through the sliding door out into the garage area. She spotted the car across the room and her heart sank. Billy was right, there was nothing left of it. The car layed in the middle of the room smashed beyond recognition. If she hadn't known it was J.T.'s car she never would have known it was a car. "There you are ma'am," the woman said. "Is there something you're looking for?"
"Actually, yes." Mac replied.
"Well everything we found is in that box next to it, feel free to take the box when you leave." the woman said. Mac nodded and watched the woman walk away. Mac turned and stared at the car wondering how this could have happened.
"Why?" she sighed slightly and then she stepped towards the car. She looked at the box and then knelt next to it. Inside it was J.T.'s blazer and briefcase, along with his keys, some papers, his wallet, and his cell...phone. Mac picked it up and held it close to her chest. 'I love you more...' she remembered him saying. It was the last thing he'd ever said to her. It rang in her ears like music and spoke to her soul with such love and honesty. "I miss you...." she whispered, slipping the phone into her pocket. She then glanced toward the car and shivered. There wasn't anything that looked like a surprise in a box, so that meant it had to be in the car somewhere.... A shiver ran down her spine as she stepped toward it and opened the back door. She searched the backseat and found nothing. She then opened the trunk and found nothing but junk other than another jacket, an emergency kit, and a pair of shoes. She then closed the trunk lightly and walked around to the passenger door. She pulled on the dented door and with some effort she finally got it open. She looked at the driver's seat and shivered again at the sight of the steering wheel almost up against the seat. She shook her head and blocked out the picture in her mind and tried to open the glove box. She finally pried it open and found a small box, her heart leeped and she reached in to pick it up. After she picked it up she pulled out several other papers that were there too. There were several receipts as well as some junk mail. But at the bottom of the pile there was a card, she opened it up and gasped!
Chapter 6
Two weeks later Billy was sitting in his living room when Brittany walked down the stairs. He had his back to her but he heard her approach the front door.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I'm leaving." she replied.
"When will you be back?" he questioned her, still not looking up.
"Billy, you don't understand." she replied. "I'm leaving and I am not coming back." Billy's head spun around and he looked at her in surprise.
"You're what?" he gasped.
"I'm leaving you," she said. "It's over, I can't take the tension anymore!"
"But Brit....." he sighed. "We can get through this!"
"No Billy, we can't." she insisted. "We've been working on this for months, and it's getting us nowhere."
"But we're getting better."
"We were, but after J.T......well you know." she said. "Things have gone down hill. You're always with ...her.....but she needs you more than I do and I accept that."
"It's not like that!" he cried walking over to her. "I swear Brit, I love you!"
"And I love you," she said. "But love isn't always enough. I'm sorry Billy, but look in your heart you'll see the answer just like I did."
"No Brit, don't leave me!" he said grabbing her hand. She pulled free and wiped the tears from her eyes.
She stepped toward him and kissed him lightly, "I love you." she said. "Nerver doubt that....I'm sorry...." She kissed him once more and then turned and picked up her suitcase. "Good-bye." she whispered before walking out the door. Billy heard the door shut, but tears blurred his gaze so he didn't see her leave. 'How could she do this?' he wondered as he walked over to the couch. He sat down and ran his hands through his hair.
Chapter 7
That afternoon the rain fell silently outside, but Mac heard every drop that hit the ground. She'd blamed the rain for taking J.T. from her and now it seemed to be haunting her. She sat on the couch curled up in a blanket. In her hand she held the card, but what it said rang in her ears like nothing had ever done before.
My love...
You are the light of my life
The warmth in my heart
And the sparkle in my eye
Without you my life is nothing
But with you the world is at my fingertips
I love you with all my heart
From the depth of my soul
And with my entire body
Be mine....forever....all over again
Love yours forever,
J.T.
Mac held the card to her chest and tears spilled down her cheeks. She glanced at the couch, and next to her sat the box she had found in the car, unopened. It had been two weeks since she'd found it, but she couldn't bring herself to open it. She sighed deeply and with shaking hands reached out and picked up the box. She slipped the ribbon off the box and slowly peeled the paper away. She gasped at the sight of a velvet box in the palm of her hand, and she almost wanted to leave it unopened forever. But instead she slowly opened the lid and sobbed at the sight of a diamond ring. It was more beautiful than any ring she had ever seen, even more beautiful than the ring she had on her finger now. And suddenly it hit her!
("I'm Still Waiting" by Jamie O'Neal)
What I'm feeling
Time is going to heal it
I've been hearing that
For so long now
They say I'll move on
Got to try and be strong
Life will go on
When I get through this somehow
Oh but how
The ring in her hand was meant to be a second engagment ring. The card now made sense, and suddenly she realized today was supposed to be the happpiest day of her life instead of the saddest. Today would have been her two year anniversary and J.T.'s surprise would have been a second wedding ceremony.
"Oh G**," she cried. "Why did this have to happen to me?"
When I'm still waiting
For you to come back
If only you could come back
Cause I'm aching
For you to walk through that door
Hold me once more
But you won't
Still I go on waiting
The wedding ring glimmered in the light and Mac slowly slipped it on her finger. It was much much more than her other ring, but not as precious to. J.T. hadn't been able to afford an expensive ring, although he had always promised to replace it with something extravagant. No wonder he'd been so secretive about it, it would have been such a surprise! She had never wanted anything more than the ring he had given her in the first place, but the very thought that he had always worried about it made her cry even harder. He had always wanted the best for her, no matter what it cost!
It was a Sunday
We buried you in the rain
I never knew the pain
Till the first night alone
Opened your closet
Breathed you in and lost it
The truth of it baby, finally hit home
No, you're not coming home
As Mac stared at her ring the doorbell rang suddenly and her heart leeped. She quickly got up from the couch and walked to the door. When she opened the door she frowned at the sight of Billy standing in front of her in tears.
"Billy...." she whispered, noticing that he was sopping wet. "What in the world?"
"I'm sorry Mac!" he cried. "I had no other place to go."
"Oh Billy it's not that," she said pulling him inside. "You're just all wet!"
"Sorry," he said. "I walked over here."
"Billy what happen?" she asked.
Billy looked at her and sobbed harder, "She left me!" he cried.
"What?" she asked. "Who?"
"Brittany," he cried. "She left me!"
When I'm still waiting
For you to come back
If you could come back
Cause I'm aching
For you to walk through that door
Hold me once more
But you won't
Still I go on waiting
"She what?" She aked as she led him into the living room. "Why?"
"We've been having problems lately," he explained. "And she didn't want to deal with it anymore!"
"Sit down here," she said. "I'll get you some dry clothes and then we'll talk." Mac quickly ran upstairs and approached J.T.'s closet. She slowly opened it and breathed deeply before walking inside to get Billy some dry clothes. She returned shortly and handed him the clothes. "Go change." she instructed. He nodded and then disappeared into the downstairs bathroom. Mac stared at where he had disappered to and wondered what the h*ll was going on?
Wish you could talk to me somehow
Tell me what to do now
I'm still waiting
Oh I'm aching
For you to walk through that door
Hold me once more
But you won't
Yeah I know
That you won't
Still I go on waiting
Mmmm...
Billy returned after a few moments and sat down next to Mac, "I'm sorry about this." he sighed. "I just didn't know where else to go."
"Billy it's fine," she smiled taking his hand. "Just tell me what happen? I had no idea you and Brit were having problems."
"We've been fighting alot, but we were working things out." he explained. "But since J.T.'s......accident things have gotten worse for some reason." Mac bit her bottom lip and stared at him as he continued. "So today, she just packed her bags and left, saying she couldn't take it anymore." he said. "It was a total shock and I don't know what to do!"
"Billy I am so sorry," she frowned pulling him into a hug. "But you'll get through this. You've been there for me and I plan on being there for you!"
Billy pulled away from Mac and looked at her for a moment, "Mac...." he finally said. "What should I do?"
Chapter 8
Mac looked at Billy for a moment trying to think of something to say, "Billy I....." she started. "I don't know." she said. "Do you love her?"
"Of course, well at least I think so..." he stammered. "I don't know what to think anymore."
"Well you have to decide what's right for you before you can decide what to do about Brit." she explained. "Does that make sense?"
"I think so..." he said. "I have to figure out what I want and that way I'll know if I still love her or not."
"Exactly," Mac smiled. "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah." he nodded.
"Well then let's go see what I can cook up." she said standing up and pulling him along with her.
The next afternoon Mac sat in Crimson Lights staring at her coffee cup. Suddenly Brittany walked in and smiled at the sight of Mac. She walked over and touched her shoulder softly.
"Mac..." she said. Mac turned and stared at her for a moment. "I suppose you know by now?" Brittany said. "But I was hoping I could find you before I left so we could talk."
"You're right," Mac agreed. "I do know, and we do need to talk."
"Look Mac," Brittany said sitting down. "I'm doing what's right for me, and that's all I am going to say about it, okay?"
"No Brit, why are you doing this?" Mac asked. "You love him and you know it, so why are you leaving?"
"Because he doesn't love me," she replied. "He loves....never mind it's not important, he just doesn't love me and I'm not sure he ever did."
"That's crazy." Mac insisted.
"Is it?" she asked. "Mac I just can't take the stress anymore. That's why I'm leaving town and may not be coming back."
"What?" Mac gasped. "You can't leave without talking to Billy again! Besides where will you go?"
"Boston," Brittany replied calmly. "I have a job lined up in advertising, so don't worry. I'll be fine and I'll keep in touch I promise!"
Mac shook her head and started to cry, "Please talk to Billy please, or you'll regret it!"
"No I won't," she insisted. "I said all I needed to say to him on the day I left. Mac, this is the right thing for all of us, trust me."
"But you're my best friend," Mac cried. "I just want what's best for you!"
"And I feel the same way, but this is the best thing for me." Brittany replied tears filling her eyes as well. "You and J.T. were my closest friends, and I am sorry to be leaving you now, but I have to. I'll miss you Mac, don't ever forget me!" Brittany stood and started to walk away, but Mac grabbed her arm.
They hugged tightly and Mac whispered, "Call me anytime, I'll always be here for you no matter what!"
"Take care of Billy...." Brittany frowned. "He'll need you!" Mac nodded and then watched Brittany leave. She wiped the tears from her eyes and wondered how she was going to ever tell Billy!
Mac's cell phone rang and she answered it, "Hello?"
"Mac?" he said. "Can we talk?" he asked.
"Billy..." she said. "About what?"
"Just something," he replied. "I'll meet you in thirty minutes at your house okay?"
"Okay." she replied curiously hanging up her phone. She placed it back in her purse and then headed out the door wondering what he wanted to tell her!
Chapter 9
Mac sat in her living room and spotted Billy's jeep driving up. She quickly answered the door and waited for him to approach the steps.
"What's up?" she asked.
"I just wanted to talk to you." he said.
"But you made it sound important." she said.
"Well it sort of is." he replied with a smile sitting on the couch.
"Okay," she said sitting next to him. "What do you want to tell me?"
"I don't love her," he blurted out. "At least not the way I use too"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Things have changed," he replied. "That's all I know right now!"
Mac looked at him silently for a moment and then said, "I talked to her today."
"About what?" he asked.
"She's leaving for Boston today and she doesn't think she'll be coming back."
"Well if that's what she thinks is best for her then I wish her all the happiness in the world," he sighed. "She deserves to be happy."
Mac nodded and then said, "I am glad you realized that!"
"Me too." he agreed.
"So was that all?" she asked. He nodded and Mac asked, "Care to stay for dinner?"
"Sure." he grinned.
Later that evening Billy and Mac sat curled up on the couch watching an old movie. Billy looked at Mac and saw she was near sleep, but she was trying to fight it.
"Mac..." he whispered.
"Hmm..." she replied.
"There's something else I need to tell you...." he said softly.
"Okay." she yawned closing her eyes.
"When I said things had changed between Brittany and me I meant they had changed because of you. Mac I only realized it today, but I love you....I don't know why I didn't see it before, but spending time with you and being so close to you just made me fall in love with you. I know you're not over J.T. yet, but I'm willing to wait if you'll give me a chance!" Billy sat there silently waiting for her reaction, but she said nothing. "Mac... Mac?" he finally said looking down at her. But to his disbelief he found her sound asleep. He shook his head and smiled, "Another time..." he slowly moved away from her and picked her up in his arms and carried her to bed.
Chapter 10
That night Mac tossed and turned in bed in a deep sleep. She drifted into a dream and suddenly she saw a bright light. Fog filled the room and she sat straight up in bed looking around in shock. She heard her name.
"Mac...." the voice called. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and she recognized the voice and a smile spread across her face.
"J.T.," she whispered. "J.T. is that you?" As she looked around the room he suddenly appeared and walked towards her.
"Mac...." he said.
"You've come back to me," she smiled."I knew love would bring us together."
"No Mac..." he said. "I've come to tell you..... to.... move on."
"What?" she gasped. "Why? I love you!"
"And I love you, but we're no longer together." he smiled reaching out to touch her face. "I love you with all my heart Mac and I want you to be happy." Mac leaned into his touch, savoring it, knowing it would be the last time she would feel it.
"But J.T. I don't want anyone else but you!" she cried as tears filled her eyes.
"Yes you do, you just don't realize it yet, but you will. And when you do, don't feel like you're betraying me Mackenzie...You will always love me and I know that. You will always have me in your heart and I will always be with you...watching you....never forget me my love." he said as he stepped away.
"J.T. please just one more thing," she pleaded. J.T. stopped and waited for her to continue. "Just hold me...." she begged. "Just for a second...." J.T. nodded and Mac hurried into his open arms. "I love you." she sobbed.
"I love you more." he winked looking down at her. Suddenly he pressed his lips to hers and she held him tightly. He broke the kiss and stepped away. "Good-bye Mackenzie....I love you and will always be with you, never forget that." he whispered.
"No, no!" she cried as the fog disappeared. "Don't leave me again! Please J.T.!" She looked around and found the room completely dark and quiet. She watched the light fade and soon she was alone again. She sighed deeply and wiped the tears from her eyes. "What did you mean?" she asked. "Who else do I love?"
Chapter 11
The next morning Mac walked downstairs in her robe and into the kitchen. She started her coffee and walked through the house to the front room where she opened the front door and quickly retreived the newspaper. She slowly sat down on the couch and as she did she had a flashback to the night before. She remembered sitting there with Billy and as he talked to her she drifted in and out of sleep. She'd tried to concentrate on what was said but things were so fuzzy. She sat there for several moments and and then suddenly it hit her from out of nowhere! 'Mac I only realized it today, but I love you...I don't know why I didn't see it before, but spending time with you and being so close to you just made me fall in love with you. I know you're not over J.T. yet, but I am willing to wait if you'll give me a chance!' She sat there in shock unable to think straight.
("Somethings Never Change" Singer Unknown)
After all this time
I still miss you everyday
The same world spins around
I guess somethings never change
Sometimes I go out
But it never feels the same
I still look for you
Baby somethings never change
"Do I feel the same way?" she asked herself. "I mean, do I love him too? Could that have been what my dream was about? Was that what J.T. was trying to tell me?" She shook her head and walked back into the kitchen. She just couldn't believe that...Billy loved her, she leaned against the counter and at that very moment she decided she felt the very same way. The only problem was....how would she tell him?
When I said I'd love you for enternity
I just never knew
Those words would be
Just an old love song
Just the mention of your name
My heart breaks into again
I guess somethings never change
Maybe someday someone else will set me free
Until then I'll live with your love's legacy
And I'll keep holding on
Hoping you'll come back someday
You can rest assured
Baby somethings never change
I'm still in love with you
I guess somethings never change
That afternoon Billy walked up to Mac's front door and rang the bell. Mac quickly answered and she smiled at him. He looked into her eyes and noticed a difference from the night before. He shrugged his shoulders, not sure if it was his imagination or not and followed her inside.
"Thanks for coming for dinner." she remarked.
"My pleasure," he smiled. "I always enjoy the presence of a pretty lady." Mac laughed nervously and then walked into the kitchen.
"So.." she said. "Sorry I fell asleep last night."
"It's no problem." he laughed.
"But I seem to remember we were talking," she explained. "Care to finish the conversation now?" Billy looked at her nervously and looked at the floor, trying to avoid her gaze.
He replied, "It's okay, we can talk about it another time."
"No really, let's talk about it now." she insisted. "Dinner won't be ready for while. So come on Abbott spill it!" she laughed as they both sat down at the kitchen table. As she looked at him she wondered if he'd changed his mind, but then he looked at her and she could see every emotion in his eyes.
Chapter 12
"Billy...." she smiled when he didn't speak. "Don't you want to finish what you were saying? I seem to remember it being important...."
"It was..." he stammered.
"Was?" she asked. "But it's not anymore?" she asked.
"No...no it is." he insisted. "I just don't think I have the courage to say it again!" Mac looked at him curiously and then smiled.
"You can always tell me anything," she said taking his hand. "Now come on don't keep me in suspense!"
"I'm not meaning to." he sighed.
"Well then...." she smiled. "I guess if you won't tell me, I guess I'll have to tell you my big news!"
"Big news?" he said curiously. "What kind of news?"
"Well I can't really tell you," she smiled. "I'll have to show you."
"Show me?" he asked. "I don't understand?"
"You will." she assured him as she leaned forward. He stared at her with wide eyes and gasped when she pressed her lips to his. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she clung to him tightly.
"Does this mean... what I think it does?" he asked breathing deeply.
"I remember every word you said last night," she smiled looking into his deep blue eyes. "And I want you to know that I love you too Billy Abbott!"
Billy smiled and hugged her tightly, "Are you sure you're ready?" Billy asked looking at her cautiously. "I mean I said I'd wait until you were comfortable."
"I know," she nodded. "But I can't hold on to him forever. I will always love him but I can't be alone for the rest of my life."
"I just want you to be sure." he repeated.
"I am," she assured him. "I promise." she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his and then hugged him tightly. As she leaned back she looked at him and asked, "Will you go somewhere with me?"
"Yeah sure," he smiled. "Where?" She leaned forward and whispered in his ear and he nodded. "That's a great idea!"
Thirty minutes later Mac slid out of the car and stepped out into the wet grass. She carried flowers in one hand and with the other she clunged to Billy's hand.
"Are you ready?" he asked. Mac nodded and they walked forward.
"I haven't been here since....." she stammered.
"I know..." he replied. "I've been here every Monday since then."
"Really?" she asked in surprise.
"He was my best friend Mac," he frowned. "I loved him like a brother." Mac nodded and then stepped in front of the gravestone. She stared down at it and tears filled her eyes. She read the engravement and smiled to herself.
"In loving memory of J.T. Holstrom. A loving husband, son, and friend. You will always be remembered and never forgotten." Mac wiped the tears away and laid the flowers on the ground. "I love you." she whispered almost silently. She squeezed Billy's hand and then hugged him tightly. She looked over Billy's shoulder and stared at the grave.
"I'll meet you at the car." he remarked. Mac nodded and continued to stare at the words on the headstone. She let her tears fall freely and kissed her hand touching it to the grave softly.
"I miss you so much!" she sobbed. "But you're right, I have to move on. I'll never forget you and I know you'll be with me forever." She touched the gravestone again and then stood staring at it a moment longer. "I love you." she smiled before walking away.
And as she walked away the wind picked up and she could swear she heard J.T.'s voice whisper, 'I love you more!'. She smiled and then walked up to Billy. He hugged her and then he took her hand and they slowly walked back to the car. Mac knew she wasn't saying good-bye to J.T., she was only closing that chapter of her life with him and starting a new chapter in her life with Billy. It was exactly what J.T. wanted for her because in life the only thing that mattered was happiness. So for his sake and hers she was moving on, however not forgetting!
~THE END~