Part 1
Mac looked up from the paperwork she was looking over and stared out at the night sky. She sighed to herself and turned to her computer. She readjusted her designer glasses, trying to concentrate, but found it impossible. She sighed deeply again and stared out the window at the lights of the city. 'How did I get here?' she wondered to herself. 'What path did I take that led me to this part of my life?' She knew exactly what path had brought her back to Genoa City....it was the path that Newman Enterprises had offered her. It wasn't that she didn't like the path she had chosen, she just felt like she was walking on eggshells trying to avoid being seen by people. She had only started her job as Newman's webmaster a few days ago, and so far it was only Newman employees and her family who knew she was in town. She hadn't even told her closest friends in the whole world she was home. She had been in California for almost four years attending college, and the day after graduation Ryan McNeil had approached her about taking the job. The job was meant for her he'd said. And after she'd considered everything they'd offered her, she hadn't been able to turn the job down. A new car, a hefty salary, a penthouse apartment right across from Newman Enterprises, and much much more....Who in their right mind would have turned the job down? It was perfect, well almost. She had been trying to work up the courage for days to tell Raul and Rianna she was back, but somehow everytime she picked up the phone to call she lost her nerve and made up some excuse why she shouldn't call them. Suddenly there was a knock on her door and she looked up to she her secretary poke her head in.
"Sorry to distrurb you Miss Browning, but someone is here to see you." Olivia smiled.
"Send them in Liv." Mac nodded looking back at her computer. She heard the door close and when she looked up she nearly fell out of her chair. "Raul!" she squealed jumping to her feet. "Oh my gosh what are you doing here?"
"What do you think I am doing here?" he said pulling her into a warm hug.
"Oh it's so good to see you," she sighed, stepping back. "Let me look at you!" He hadn't changed, still the same old Raul. His hair was a little longer, his shoulders were broader, and his skin was darker, but his eyes still had the same warmth and love in them. "You look great!" she smiled hugging him again.
"So do you," he replied. "But I should shoot you for not telling me you were coming home!"
"Yeah sorry about that," she frowned. "But I couldn't find the right time."
"The right time was the minute you knew you were coming." he remarked.
"I know, I know." she moaned throwing her hands in the air. "How did you know I was here anyway?"
"Mac I work for your competition," he explained as if she should already know that. "Talk of Newman's webmaster has been spreading like wild fire over at Jabot. It doesn't take the board members long to call a meeting to discuss their new competition."
"So they know I am their competition?" Mac said nervously.
Raul nodded and said, "It didn't take them long to get your name and to be truthful they're worried!"
"Worried?" she asked curiously. "About what?"
"Mac you ran the winter campaign remember? They know what you're capable of." he replied. "And now that you actually have training, they're kicking themselves for not keeping better tabs on you, to offer you a job when Newman did." Mac nodded and then sighed deeply sitting down behind her desk.
"So everyone knows I am here?" she asked.
"Well the Abbotts do as well as their employees but other than that no one else knows." he replied. "Why are you so worried about who knows?"
"I'm not." she said with a fake smile.
Raul shook his head and said, "I should have known!"
"You should have known what?" she asked defensively.
"You're worried abut Billy," he smirked. "I should have known!"
"I most certainly am not worried about Billy," she snapped. "He's the last person I am thinking about!"
"You maybe fooling yourself, but you're not fooling me!" he laughed.
"Whatever." she frowned.
"Well look I have to get going," he said walking over to her. "But call me tomorrow and we'll have lunch okay?"
"Okay." she agreed standing up to hug him. She watched him disappear through the door and then she flopped into her seat. She sighed to herself again and spun around to stare out at the city again.
Chapter 2
Billy sat in his office and stared out at the city lights. His thoughts were on someone who was half way across the world, only they weren't the thoughts he should have been thinking. His fiance was in Italy modeling for Jabot ads even though he should have been wishing she'd come home, he found himself wanting her to stay were she was. Her coming home would only add to his problems and he didn't need the extra stress. He sighed to himself thinking of a different person, the real love of his life, Mackenzie Browning. He'd gotten the shock of his life at last weeks board meeting when Raul had announced that Mac was Newman Enterprises new webmaster. His mother had gone through the roof and the rest of his family had sat there in shock, silently kicking themselves for not offering her a job when Newman had. But he wasn't shocked about her new job, he was shocked that she was even in Genoa City. When she'd left four years ago they had parted on good terms. They had been forced to go their seperate ways and even though they'd promised to keep in touch, the years had passed them without them knowing it. They had just lost touch, up until last week Billy wasn't even sure Mac was still in California. Suddenly there was a knock on Billy's door and Billy turned his gaze to the door just as Jack walked in.
"Hey little brother, still burning the midnight oil?" he teased. Billy nodded and then sighed. "Why the long face?" Jack asked.
Billy looked up at him and frowned, "It's nothing." he replied placing papers in his briefcase.
"Come on Billy," Jack pushed. "Lay it on me somethings bothering you..."
"Nothings wrong Jack," Billy snapped. "So drop it!" Jack stared at him a second but said nothing. "What?" Billy asked defensively.
"Oh nothing, I am just remembering the last time you were so defensive." Jack smirked.
"And when was that?" Billy asked.
"Anytime you were thinking about Mackenzie." Jack replied calmly.
"What?" Billy asked nervously. "That makes no sense!"
"Sure it does," Jack insisted. "The only time you clam up about something you're thinking about Mac."
"That's not true." Billy argued.
"If you say so," Jack said shaking his head. "But sooner or later you're going to have to face her along with the past you had with her." Billy shook his head with a glare and turned to stare out the window again. "Look Billy boy," Jack said. "You're both in the same business now and to make things worse you're competitors. So sooner or later you're going to have to come face to face and when you do lots of feelings are going to come rushing back. You and Mac have a very emotional past, and those emotions aren't gone. They've only been stored away for safe keeping." Billy continued to stare out the window and Jack could only shake his head again before walking out the door, closing it behind him. Billy sighed heavily and stared across the city at the towering Newman Enterprises. 'Where do we start Mac?' Billy asked himself. 'And how does it effect my engagement to Brittany?'
Chapter 3
Mac picked up the papers that covered her desk and put them in her briefcase. She shut down her computer and gathered her coat before picking up her briefcase and leaving her office, closing the door behind her.
"Night Liv," Mac smiled. "Don't stay too late!"
"I won't Miss Browning," Liv smiled. "I'm almost through here." Mac nodded and then continued down the hall to the elevator. Moments later she deactivated the alarm on her black 2001 Honda Accord and opened the door. She slipped behind the wheel and then started the engine backing out of her parking space and quickly leaving the garage. She drove the short distance to her apartment and pulled into her parking space in her building's garage. Stepping out of her car she grabbed her things and hurried to the elevator. She rode to the top and then stepped off and entered her penthouse. Everything was dark and quiet, yet the lights of the city filled the room with a soft glow. "Home sweet home." she smiled softly as she dropped her things on the couch and flipped on a lamp. She walked over to her machine and pressed the play button.
"Hello darling," her grandmother said. "I just wanted to check on you and talk to you about coming over for dinner one night this week. Please call me back dear, love you!"
The machine beeped and then Rianna said, "Mac! You're back in town! I'm going to get you for not telling me sooner! Call me, we'll have lunch!" The machine beeped again and the line was silent before the person hung up. Mac wondered who had called her and not left a message. She shrugged her shoulders and walked upstairs to her bedroom. She slipped out of her suit leaving it on the floor, and slipped on a pair of flannel shorts and a faded gray shirt that said UCLA across the front before climbing into bed. She sat there for a moment staring out the windows that lined the walls across from her and sighed thinking of Billy. She groaned to herself before flopping back onto the bed reaching over and flipping off the lamp.
Billy paced his office and stared at the glowing city again, wondering where Mac was at that very same moment. He sighed again and turned to his desk gathering his things to leave. He closed his briefcase and hurried out the door. He smiled at June, his secretary as he passed and walked down the hall to the elevator. Moments later he walked to his green 2001 Jeep Cherokee and pressed the button to unlock the doors. He slipped behind the wheel and started the car rushing out of the parking garage. As he drove out of town towards the Abbott Estate his thought wandered back to the last day he'd seen Mac four years before....
*~*~* Billy walked up to the Chancellor Estate and rang the doorbell. Mac quickly answered the door and flung herself into his arms.
"Tell me you want me to stay and I will." she cried hugging him tightly.
"Mac I won't do that," he frowned. "That wouldn't be fair to either of us and you'd resent me for it later."
"But I love you." she sighed.
"And I love you," he smiled pulling her into a kiss. "But you have to do this for yourself."
"I am going to miss you." she said starting to cry.
"I'll miss you too, but you're going across country, not falling off the face of the earth completely." he remarked wiping away her tears. "We'll both be busy with school and the time apart will fly by, besides we'll keep in touch and visit right?"
"Right." she agreed with a smile. "I just wish we weren't going to be so far apart."
"Me too." he nodded kissing her forehead.
"Mackenzie darling," her grandmother said. "It's time to go."
"No!" she cried clinging to Billy. Her grandmother frowned and walked out to the waiting limousine. "Please tell me to stay!" she pleaded.
"I love you more than you'll ever know.....never forget that Mac. Never!" he said starting to cry too. "You're the love of my life you mean more to me than life itself. I love you..."
Mac looked at him through tear filled eyes and hugged him tightly. "I love you too." she whispered. "And leaving you is killing me...." Billy looked down at her and pressed his lips to hers kissing her like he never had before. When they broke apart they hugged tightly and Mac waked to the door.
"I love you beautiful!" he called after her as she slid into the limo. He waved and watched the limo disappear out of sight and afterwards he stood and wondered if he'd see her again and if he ever would...*~*~*
Billy snapped back to the present and realized that he'd known then that, that kiss had been good-bye. And since then he'd never loved anyone as much as her, not even Brittany. He slowly pulled into the driveway and parked his car. He slid out and hurried into the house shutting the door firmly behind him, not only shutting out the cold, but also the thoughts of him and Mac together. Because the thoughts of her would only cause problems.
Chapter 4
The next morning Mac walked into her office and sat down behind her desk. As she tuned on her computer her phone beeped.
"Yes Liv?" Mac asked.
"Miss Browning, Miss Abbott is here to see you." Liv announced.
Mac thought curiously for a moment and then said, "Send her in!" Mac glanced at her computer screen and then glanced up when the door opened. She smiled suddenly at the sight of Colleen and stood up as she approached. "Oh Colleen," Mac whispered as she noticed how much she had changed."You look lovely!"
"Thanks." she smiled.
"You look so different...." Mac laughed and then said, "I hope that's a good thing!"
Colleen realized what she said and laughed. "Of course it is!"
"Please sit down." Mac insisted. "It's been so long....what brings you all the way over here?" Colleen smiled and bit her lower lip nervously.
"I wanted to ask you a favor." she replied.
"Okay...." Mac said curiously.
"Tomorrow night the whole family is getting together to have dinner at the Colonade Room where I'm going to make an announcement, actually Phillip and I are going to make an announcement." she explained.
Mac looked at her for a moment and then her eyes widened, "You mean....." she stammered.
"Yes we're going to tell them that we're engaged and I want you to be there!"
"Me?" Mac gasped "Why?"
"Because I am hoping you'll be my maid of honor." she smiled. "Phillip and I both want you to be involved."
"Wait a minute!" Mac said slowing things down. "Who is Phillip?"
"Phillip is Jill's grandson," Colleen replied. "We've been dating a little over two years and now we feel like we're ready to be engaged."
"Wow," Mac sighed. "This is alot to handle!"
"I know but I was going to call you in California and ask you, but then dad mentioned you were back in town, so will you do it?" she asked nervously.
"Of course," Mac smiled. "I'd be honored! Really I would!"
"Good," Colleen grinned. "You and Billy will be perfect together!"
"Huh, what?" Mac asked. "What do you mean Billy and I will be perfect together?"
"Billy is the best man," she replied. "He has known about this for weeks." Mac stared at her for a second and then Colleen stood up. "I hate to go so quickly, but I have to be at work soon." she said. "But I'll see you tomorrow night around seven, okay?" Mac nodded and then stood up hugging her tightly. She was in shock as she watched Colleen leave and once the door shut she fell back on the couch thinking about what she had just got herself into! 'I can't believe this,' she thought. 'I been avoiding him for so long and now I've just thrown myself at him without even knowing it! I wonder what he'll have to say about it?' Mac sighed to herself and put her head in her hands. It had been so long since they'd seen one another and Mac just wanted a little more time to think things through before she faced him again. His blue eyes haunted her all the time and she could remember his smile as if she'd only seen it yesterday. And everytime she thought about the day she'd left she wondered why he hadn't asked her to stay. Maybe he had wanted to end things....no they'd loved one another back then. And at times she felt as if she still loved him.
But what could they do now....they had both moved on.....if only she sighed again and whispered, "Oh Billy why didn't you ask me to stay?"
Chapter 5
The next afternoon Billy sat behind his desk looking over some forms when his secretary beeped in.
"Mr Abbott," she said. "Miss Hodges is on the phone."
"Thank you," he said picking up the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey handsome," she gretted him. "I miss you!"
"I miss you too." he replied half heartedly.
"Well I am having a great time." she beamed.
"I am glad" he smiled.
"But I have to tell you something." she said.
"And what's that?" he asked only half paying attention.
"We're staying for another month, maybe two." she informed him.
"Okay." he said.
"Okay?" she asked in shock. "You're not upset?"
"No," he answered. "It's your job Brit, and the campaign is important to Jabot."
He heard her sigh and then she said, "You're so supportive. How did I get so lucky?"
"You're just as lucky as I am." he smiled looking at his computer screen.
"Well I have to go," she frowned. "We shoot in twenty minutes."
"Okay I miss you." he said.
"I miss you more." she teased.
"Don't be so sure of that," he remarked. "I love you!"
"I love you too," she said. "Bye!"
"Bye." he replied and then all he heard was a dial tone. He held the phone for a moment and then sat it down with a sigh. He couldn't understand why he wasn't more upset that she would be gone longer and why he didn't miss her as much as he should. The saying out of sight, out of mind popped into his head and he pushed the idea away not wanting to believe it. 'I love her,' he told himself. 'Don't I?' he frowned slightly and turned to her picture on his desk.
"Brit...." he sighed. "What's going to happen when you get home? Will things still be the same?" He looked away and glanced at his watch, noticing the time. He quickly gathered his things and left his office, heading for his car. He had some things to take care of before the party that night.
The evening of the party quickly arrived and Mac's stomach flipped as she stood in front of the full length mirror looking at herself in the new dress she had just bought the day before. It was a black dress that flowed down to the floor. It fit her hips just right and it had slits up both sides that went to her thighs. The top was strapless and the top showed just the right amount of cleveage, so there was still something left to the imagination. Her hair was piled on top of her head and curls spilled down, circling her head like a halo. 'I can't do this,' she thought. 'Too much has happened. Why did I agree to do this?' The thought of seeing Billy again scared her to death but the thought also sent chills down her spine. She smiled slightly to herself and nodded, glancing at the clock, noticing the time. She quickly picked up her handbag and headed to the door and down to her car. Minutes later she walked into the Colonade Room and hesitated in the doorway. She licked her lips and walked forward stopping at the top of the steps. She saw Colleen and smiled and waved slightly.
"Mac," she smiled. "I am so glad you made it! You look lovely, absolutely stunning!"
"Thanks." Mac smiled noticing Colleen's peach colored dress. "You look beautiful. It's almost as if you're glowing!" Colleen blushed and then took her by the elebow. As they walked down the steps Mac scanned the small crowd. As she looked from face to face she suddenly stared into familiar eyes and her heart soared. Emotions flowed strongly between them and old feelings came rushing back as if they'd never disappeared. Billy stared back at her and he looked amazing, he hadn't changed much. His eyes were the same intense blue she remembered, but they were older, more mature as if they'd seen so much in the years they'd been apart. His frame was bigger and his skin was darker. His hair was a little longer and as she looked into his face she saw that he was feeling the same thing she was!
Billy stared at Mac for a long moment, noticing that she'd changed from the girl he used to love to a woman he now desired. She looked like an angel, and that dress she was wearing did things to him that he'd never felt before. She'd changed so much in the years she'd been gone, but he'd known her even if they'd been surrounded by a crowd. Her hair was much longer and her figure had changed dramatically. She had gone from a young girl to a woman. As he looked into her eyes all of his old feelings came rushing back, as if they'd never been apart. And even though he had been thinking of Brittany all night, he could no longer picture her in his mind. All he saw was Mac, only Mac! He sighed deeply and stepped forward walking over to her and Colleen. He smiled and wrapped her in his arms without warning.
"I've missed you." he whispered against her ear, savoring the feel of her in his arms. Mac stepped back and smiled nervously, still unsure of herself.
"It's been a long time." she commented.
"Too long," he agreed. "So much has happen." She nodded and then listened as the music began to play. "Dance with me." he insisted taking her by the hand. Mac didn't argue but allowed him to wrapped her in his arms.
("I'm Still Holding Out For You" SheDaisy)
Never thought I'd be in this place
It's someone else's life I'm livin
Wish I were living a lie
The hardest part is when the bough breaks
Falling down then forgiving
You didn't kiss me good-bye
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say
And pray that I get the chance one day
I still run, I still swing open the door
I think, you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around
Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you
Mac closed her eyes and laid her head on Billy's shoulder, savoring the moment, wishing it could last forever. She sighed slightly and her mind wanders back to the day she left for school all those years ago. She'd begged him to ask her to stay, but he'd refused, saying that this was best for her! So she'd left and when she arrived in Califoria she'd waited and waited for his phone call. However, he didn't call her for two weeks. He said it was because he wanted to give her time to settle, but something in his voice had changed. After that they had talked several times and written a couple of letters, but after that they had moved on with their lives and she'd never looked back until now.......
Yeah
I can hear you smile in the dark
I can even feel your breathing
But daylight chases the ghosts
I see your coat and I fall apart
To those hints of you I am clinging
Now's when I need them the most
I should get up, dry my eyes, and move ahead
At least that's what you would have said
I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think, you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody know not to come around
Somethings a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you
Billy was remembering the same thing, he really had meant to let her settle in, but as time went by he felt them growing further and further apart, until one day he just stopped calling wanting to allow her to move on with her new life. Then things had started with Brittany....they had become friends again and slowly it had grown into more. She had really been the one that insisted he try to work things out with Mac, but he refused, assuming she had found someone else. He sighed, pushing that thought out of his head. After that things had progressed with Brittany to the point that he'd proposed to her. But now thinking about her, he felt nothing and he wondered if she'd only been a diverson. He wasn't sure what to think anymore, but all he knew was that the feel of Mac in his arms felt so right! He only hoped Mac felt the same way!
Faithfully I trace your name while you sleep
It's the only true comfort I feel
I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think you'll be there like before
I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody know not to come around
Somethings a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out
Out for you
Holding out
Holding out for you
The song ended and they didn't step apart. Finally Mac noticed the silence and she stepped away slightly. Her body tensed and she looked around and noticed no one had seen them.
"Mac...." Billy whispered. When she looked at him softly, Mac bit her lower lip and turned to walk away. But Billy grabbed her arm and held her there. "You're not leaving Mac," he whispered. "I lost you once years ago, but I won't lose you again!"
Mac continued to stand with her back to Billy and she bit back sobs as her bottom lip began to trembled. Billy grasped her elbow with light pressure and when she didn't turn to him he spun her around to face him.
"Mac...." he whispered.
"No Billy!" she cried. "We can't do this!"
"Why not?" he asked her.
"We just can't." she insisted pulling away from him and walking up the stairs and out the door into the lobby. Billy stared after her for a moment, and then looked around. He then frowned and shook his head, running after her.
"Mac?" he called as he entered the lobby. He looked around and found her standing against the wall. He walked over to her and stopped inches away from her. "Mac don't cry," he said softly, taking her hand. "I didn't mean to startle you. I just...."
"I know..." she sobbed. "I know...."
He looked at her curiously and asked, "You know what?"
"I know what you're going to say," she replied looking at her hands. "You're going to say all of your old feelings have returned. And I know that's what you were going to say because, because the same thing has happen to me too!"
"What?" he asked in confusion.
"I still love you!" she blurted out. Billy's eyes widened, but his heart soared. "But Billy...." she started to say. But before she could finish he took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. Her lips felt so smooth and were exactly as he remembered them. Mac gasped in surprise, but didn't pull away. The sensation that ran through her felt so right that she didn't want it to end. Finally when the kiss ended Mac stared up into his eyes and smiled.
"You are so beautiful." he whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and then tracing his finger down her face. "I don't know how I ever lived without you." So many emotions ran through Mac, so that she couldn't figure out what she was feeling. It felt so right to be there with him, but so many things had changed. How did she know they were still able to be together? Maybe they had changed too much and things would end up in heartache again. She couldn't bare for things to end again. But before she could decide what to do, Billy took her hand and pulled her toward the exit.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"Anywhere, I just want to be alone with you." he replied with a smile.
"But what about Colleen?" she asked in protest. "She wanted us to be here tonight!"
"She'll undersatnd," he replied. "I'll make her understand! Trust me!" Mac nodded, knowing she couldn't refuse him anything. They walked out of the building and Billy asked, "Where should we go?" Mac thought for a moment and then made a rash decision.
"My place." she announced walking toward her car. Billy stared at her in surprise for a moment and then quickly followed her to her car, climbing into the passenger seat.
They made the short drive to her apartment in silence, both wondering what would happen once they were behind closed doors. And moments later the time had come to find out. Mac closed and locked her front door She turned to look at him in the moonlight and slowly walked toward the lamp to turn it on.
"Don't...." he rasped catching her by the wrist. "I want to see you in the moonlight." Mac smiled and then bit her lower lip, looking him in the eyes with mixed emotions. He reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders softly then ran his fingers slowly down her arms sending chills up her spine. She smiled nervously, and looked up into his eyes and then glanced away. She sighed slightly and then walked across the room, switching on the stereo. A soft song filled the dark room as Mac stared out her patio door that showed the entire city. She felt Billy walk up behind her and put his hands on her waist.
("Every Time" Jessica Andrews)
I laid a blanket there on the shoreline
And saw the water shine with the moon
What kind of fool would fail to notice
The best thing shining was you
Oh I laughed kind of nervous
I felt you move closer
And felt the world unwind
Once was a stranger not quite a lover
But steadily crossing the line
Billy slid his hands up Mac's arms and felt her relax against him.
"Mac..." he whispered in her ear. "I miss you...." Mac smiled to herself and sighed happily. Billy pulled her hair away from her neck and kissed her neck softly, tracing kisses down her shoulder. He paused for a moment and then slowly turned her around to face him. "Mac I love you...." he assured her. "You know that right?" Mac nodded and he asked, "And you love me too right? So I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to?"
Mac shook her head and smiled at him before saying, "I do love you Billy!" He smiled and then wrapped her in his arms, kissing her passionately.
Carry me far away
Don't hold back, I won't break
Leave the ghosts behind
All I know wrong or right
Just the thought of this night
Will get me every time
Every time
Well the voice in my head said what
Are you doing
I thought not listening to you
You see I am taking a chance
I'm thinking 'bout flying
Over the blue
And it's crazy to be this out of practice
And have it all come so naturally
Don't you love knocking logic right off
It's axis
And watch it float right out to sea
Mac kissed Billy with as much force as he gave her. She ran her hands up and down his back then through his hair, savoring every touch, every kiss. It had been forever, but all the feelings and past memories came rushing back, as if nothing had ever happen, as if they'd never been apart.
"Mac are you sure?....." he asked. Mac mumbled a response and kissed him deeper, telling him not to stop. Suddenly he pulled away and stared at her. She looked at him in confusion and then her eyes widened and she thought he might have changed her mind. "Mac I need you to promise me something." he said.
"Okay," she nodded. "Anything!"
"You have to promise me that this isn't just a fling," he replied. "We have lots to work through, but this is going to last, it can't be a one nighter. I want you to let me love you, can you promise me that?" Mac nodded with a slow smile and then hugged him tightly.
"I want more than a one nighter," she whispered. "I want forever!"
Billy laughed and said, "I plan on giving you just that!" He kissed her and lifted her face so her gaze met his and then he lowered his lips and kissed her again.
Carry me far away
Don't hold back, I won't break
Leave the ghosts behind
All I know wrong or right
Just the thought of this night
Will get me every time
Every time
So now here I am reading my fortune
I the winding palm of your hand
Oh and I see the unwanted orphan
Head right for the promise land
Carry me far away
I won't, I won't break
Carry me far away
Don't hold back, I won't break
Leave the ghosts behind
All I know wrong or right
Just the thought of this night
Will get me every time
Every time
Billy's kisses softened and he ran his hands up and down her back. Mac leaned into him and prayed that this moment would never end. For tomorrow reality would hit them both and things would never be the same. Billy kissed her lips and then his lips wandered down her cheek to her neck and then to her shoulder. Mac leaned her head back with a moan and then Billy kissed her lips again.
Suddenly she was in his arms and he rasped, "Where's your room?" Mac pointed and he quickly walked over to the door, his lips on hers. He pushed the door open with his shoulder and then kicked it shut with his foot.
Chapter 7
The next morning Mac sighed as the morning sun shined in on her face. She stretched slightly and groaned, barely opening her eyes. She laid there a moment and then jumped as Billy rolled over next to her and wrapped his arms around her. The events of the night before came rushing back and she smiled slightly, snuggling closer to him. He squeezed her tightly, and then moaned slightly, resting his head next to her neck.
"Morning," he whispered kissing her shoulder. "Did you sleep well?" Mac smiled again and rolled to face him. She nodded and then he kissed her softly, her lips lingering on his. She placed her hands on his chest and ran her fingers along his hard muscles. "Last night was great." he smiled kissing her nose. Mac smiled in agreement and then snuggled close to him.
"This feels so good." she whispered.
"It feels so right." he agreed. Mac smiled at his comment, in fact she was smiling at everything. She just felt so good and she wanted everyone to know it.
She looked up at him and said, "You make me so happy."
"You make me happy too," he replied. "More than you know....."
Mac waited for him to finish, and when he didn't she said, "But?"
"We need to talk." he sighed sitting up.
"About what?" she asked nervously, her eyes showing her uncertainty.
"Mac don't worry," he smiled placing a hand on her cheek. "It's nothing bad, just something you should know about." Mac sat up wrapping the sheet around her and bringing her knees to her chest. "Mac I am engaged." he blurted out without warning. Mac gasped and shook her head and tears filled her eyes. She turned trying to get out of bed, but Billy grabbed her around the waist. "Mac wait," he said pulling her to him. "I am not finished! Let me explain.....I'm engaged....but I am going to call it off!"
"But you can't do that," she said. "I don't want to cause anyone pain."
"You're not," he assured her. "When I heard you were in town, all my feelings for you came back and I realized that I still loved you and that all I had done was tuck that love away. You have to believe me Mac, I won't be happy with anyone else but you!" Mac stared at him for a moment, and all she could think about was, 'Billy's engaged....he's engaged.'
"Who are you engaged to?" she asked not sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"Brittany." he said slowly watching her face for a reaction. Mac's eyes widened and Billy said, "But I don't really love her Mac, you have to believe me!"
"I have to think about this Billy," she said climbing out of bed. "This could change alot of lives, and I don't know if I want to be the reason those lives change." Mac quickly got out of bed and slipped on her robe tying it tightly around her.
"Mac...." he pleaded. "I told you last night that I didn't want this to be a one night thing and you agreed. I even told you we had things to talk about."
Mac nodded and said, "I know Billy, but that was before you told me you were engaged. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like if I loved someone and had someone else take them away just like that. I would die, and even though Brittany and I have our differences, I don't think I could do that to her!"
"But Mac you said you loved me," he argued, also getting out of bed. "Look at what we shared last night....Are you saying it was a mistake?"
"No it was perfect. Exactly how I always hoped for my first time would be, but things have changed Billy admit it! I just need time to think things through okay?"
"Fine," he frowned wiping away his own tears. "But I'm still ending things with Brit. That has nothing to do with you. I just don't love her anymore!" Mac watched him gather his clothes and slip into them. "You know where to find me when you decide what you want," he said sadly. "I hope you'll make the right decision." She watched him leave the room and then as she sat there on the bed she heard the door slam. She waited a few moments then walked to the window and watched him disappear.
Chapter 8
The next afternoon Mac was sitting at home when her doorbell rang. She nearly jumped at the noise that broke the nerve racking silence, and then hurried to answer it. When she opened the door she gasped at the sight of Rianna. Rianna stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Mac hugging her tightly.
"Don't you return phone calls?" she asked stepping back. Mac shrugged her shoulders and Rianna looked at her with a suspiciously look. "What's wrong?" she asked finally.
"Nothing," Mac replied closing the door. "Just tired I guess."
"Don't give me that crap," Rianna frowned. "Spill it and I won't take no for an answer." Mac knew Rianna was telling the truth so they sat down on the couch. Mac began to pour her heart out and tears started to fall freely.
After Mac finished her story Rianna wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly, trying to sooth Mac's crying and tears. "Mac it will be alright." she assured her.
"Will it?" Mac asked pulling back. "Because I am not so sure!"
"Well I am!" Rianna nodded. "You love Billy, even after all these years. I've always known he still loves you." Mac stared at her silently and then lowered her head in sadness.
"I just don't know what to do," she sighed. "Maybe I've blown things and it's too late!"
"No it isn't Mac," Rianna insisted shaking her head. "This is far from over, just give it a chance okay?"
"But what if I get hurt again?" Mac asked. "I can't handle it again, I barely made it through the last time."
"The point is that you did make it," Rianna pointed out with a slight smile. "And because of that you're a stronger person, I can see it in your eyes. You're not the same person you were four years ago and Billy knows that." Mac sighed wiping the tears from her eyes and nodded looking at her friend nodding silently. "Good," Rianna smiled. "Now I am going to go so you can work things through with Billy, call me tomorrow and we'll go to lunch, okay?" Mac smiled and then walked her friend to the door.
"Give Raul my love." she said hugging Rianna.
"I will, and remember it's never too late, not when it comes to you and Billy."
"I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend." Mac said her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm just as lucky," Rianna agreed. "Take care!" Mac nodded and then closed the door leaning against it.
Billy walked into his office that afternoon and sat down behind his desk. As he turned on his computer the phone rang and he quickly answered it, hoping it would be from the European part of Jabot, a call he had been waiting for all day!
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey sexy." Brittany smiled.
"Hey." he frowned knowing what was to come. He hadn't planned on telling her things were over until she returned, but now was as good a time as any. "What's up?"
"Nothing," she said. "Well actually I wanted to let you know that things have changed and we'll be back in the states in two weeks, isn't that great?"
"Yeah." he said with little enthusiasm.
"I miss you." she smiled.
"Same here." he agreed.
"Well I have to go, but I wanted to give you the good news. I have a feeling there's something wrong, do you want to talk about it?"
"No," he replied. "It's nothing that can't wait two weeks."
"Okay if you're sure," she said. "I'll see you then! Love you!"
"Bye!" he said and then he hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. As he turned to gaze out the window his phone rang again. "Hello?" he answered.
"Billy....." a soft voice said.
"Mac?" Billy asked.
"Can you come over tonight?" she asked.
"Yeah sure," he said as his heart soared. "What time?"
"Seven." she replied.
"Great, I'll see you then." he smiled.
"Okay." she agreed and then all he heard was a dial tone. Was that a good thing or a bad thing, he wasn't quite sure. But being invited over was certainly a good sign.
Chapter 9
Mac walked into the kitchen and checked the pasta that was boiling on the stove. She tested it to make sure it was tender enough then lifted if from the burner and carried it to the sink where she dumped it into the strainer. Once that was done she set the french bread in the oven and check on the sauce that was simmering on the stove. She nodded and then looked down at her outfit, smoothing away the wrinkles in her black skirt. The skirt flowed down just below her knees but had a slit up her left leg showing their shape and smoothness. Her shirt was a tank top style in crimson red, low cut and snug in all the right places. Her hair flowed down around her shoulders and her make-up was done flawlessly. She smiled to herself, knowing Billy would fall over when he saw her. And that was just the effect she was looking for. Tonight she would prove to him that they belonged together and that she was sorry for the previous evening. She had planned dinner and even dancing. The lights were dimmed and the candles lit everywhere for just the right atomsphere. Everything looked perfect and it should since she had spent the enire day putting everything in place. Nothing would go wrong, she'd make sure of that! She checked her watch, noticing that Billy would be arriving soon and walked into her living room where she turned on some soft music. 'Perfect,' she thought just as the doorbell rang. Her heart leeped and her knees went weak. She steadied herself against the sofa, breathing deeply and then walked over to answer the door, her fate standing on the other side.
Billy stepped out of the car pressed the button, setting the alarm. He checked his reflection in the driver's side window and smiled at himself. He nodded and then walked over to the elevator, his heart racing faster and faster with every step. He waited impatiently for the elevator as it moved from floor to floor and then it finally stopped at the top he hesitated, almost changing his mind. But instead he stepped forward approaching her door. He heard music coming from inside and he stood there listening to the faint sound of someone moving around inside the apartment. He sighed and then reached forward ringing the doorbell. The movement inside was silent for a short moment and he wondered if she'd answer the door. But suddenly he heard the doorknob turn and his heart leeped from his chest when he saw her standing in front of him.
Chapter 10
Billy's jaw hit the floor and he had to remind himself to breathe.
"Are you going to come in?" Mac asked with a slight smile. Billy shook his head, gathering his senses and nodded. He walked past her and heard her close the door behind him. He walked into the living room and gazed out over the city through her windows that spanned the width of the room.
"This is a beautiful view." he said.
"Thanks." he heard her say from the kitchen. Suddenly he smelled food and grinned.
"Something smells delicious." he commented walking towards the smells and and into the kitchen.
"It's just something I cooked up." she replied stirring the sauce.
"Well whatever it is, it's making my mouth water." he smiled leaning against the counter.
"It's almost ready." she smiled. Billy nodded with a smirk and then turned to look at the table. He nodded at it's appearance and noted that it looked a little romantic. He smiled at that thought and turned to find Mac watching him.
"What?" he asked with a laugh
"Nothing." she replied with her own smile. Billy shook his head and then walked over to the table, sitting down. Mac carried the dishes to the table and then sat down across from him.
Once they had served themselves Billy stared at Mac for a moment and then asked, "What's this all about Mac?"
"First we eat, then we talk." she replied. Billy looked at her curiously and then shrugged his shoulders, deciding not to push her.
After dinner they walked out into the living room and Mac turned the stereo up several notches. Billy watched her stand by the stereo for a few moments staring out at the city lights and then turned looking directly at him. Their eyes met and so much was said between them without saying a word. He watched her approach him and then she stood in front of him silently for a moment. "Dance with me?" she asked holding out her hand. Billy nodded not taking his gaze away from her and stood, moving to the middle of the room. A new song started and he wrapped her in his arms and they moved to the music, forgetting everything, but the feeling of being so close to one another.
("I'm Not Gonna Do Anything Without You" Mark Wills & Jamie O'Neal)
I'm gonna make you a promise
Starting tonight
If I never do anything else
For the rest of my life
I'm gonna hold somebody
I'm gonna look in someone's eyes
Til I'm so over come that I cry
I'm gonna love somebody
More than anybody
Baby there's so much I wanna do
But I'm not gonna do anything without you
There's no way I'll ever give up
There's no way I'll lose
If I have to sacrifice everything
Then that's what I'll do
I'm gonna hold somebody
I'm going to look in someone's eyes
Til I'm so over come that I cry
I'm gonna love somebody
More than anybody
Baby there's so much I wanna do
But I'm not gonna do anything without you
This is my dream that I live and breathe
All I think about
This is the fire that burns in me
That will never go out
I'm gonna to hold somebody
I'm going to look in someone's eyes
Til I'm so over come that I cry
I'm gonna love somebody
More than anybody
Baby there's so much I wanna do
But I'm not gonna do anything without you
Baby, oh baby
There's so much I wanna do
But I'm not gonna do anything without you
I'm not gonna do anything without you
No, no baby
Anything without you
Without you
The music stopped but Billy and Mac only heard the soft breathing of each other. Mac's heartbeat was faster than it had ever been before and Billy's breathing was caught in his throat. When they realized the song had ended they stepped apart and looked at each other. Mac looked down nervously and Billy lifted his hand under her chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Their gaze was so intense that neither dared to break it!