a.k.a.-The Cousin Chronicle
Table of Contents
Due to unrelenting nagging from Miko and yet another court-ordered mandate to perform some sort of public service to pay back society for our "offensive" presence, we have established The Primate Times.
T.P.T. chronicles the latest news of our closest relatives, the so-called "lower" primates. Stories hilighted here will be mainly of a "behavioral" nature so that you human animals can base your own actions on what they do (or at least find some sort of justification for your past social faux pas in order to suppress any guilt/shame feelings you may have.)
This page has passed muster with the court since much of contemporary secular psychology is based on primate studies and evolutionary theory. Miko also approves since it brings his kind to the forefront of human consciousness (and is also one more step towards his goal which reflects past lower primate glory - WORLD DOMINATION.)
Be sure to check back often as new stories will be added periodically and placed at the top of the list.
MONKEY'S portfolio poised to beat Dow,
S&P 500
Dow 10,000? Humbug, I say. We've got something a lot more meaningful
going on right here in the Sun-Times Monkey Business stock-picking
contest. ...
FOR primate health insurance, it's hard
to beat Dr Moriarty
By Amanda Dunn. Twenty-five years ago, Kevin Moriarty, a young
anaesthetist at the Royal Women's Hospital, received an unusual
phone call. ...
Orangutan dies after male's attack
TARA, a female orangutan from the Bojnice Zoo in the western
Slovak town of the same name died after a male orangutan, Momo,
attacked her in an unexpected fit ...
AUSTRALIAN Primate to co-chair Anglican
Roman Catholic dialogue
Archbishop Carnley, who is also Primate of the Anglican Church
of Australia, has been asked to Co-Chair Anglican Roman Catholic
Dialogue to fill the post of co ...
HOW DNA divides man from monkey
Key genetic changes that sent chimpanzees and humans down different
evolutionary
paths have been identified by scientists. A comparison ...
CHIMP genome draft completed
... Pan troglodytes. The differences between the chimp's genetic
code and ours should reveal what makes us human, scientists hope.
The ...
Blacks Are Half-Evolved Monkey People
Book Excerpt -- [Bill's note: The following is an excerpt from
the book "The Origin Of Races" by Carleton Coon. I
have placed a ...
Monkey study favors nature over nurture
... For his experiment, Maestripieri
and his team swapped the monkey babies shortly after birth and
studied, for three years, how they expressed social contact and
...
Monkey See, Monkey Brood
... allow. And only Tarzan--who,
we've already established, is something of a moody monkey--actually
seems to inhabit his environment. ...
Monkey brain research: The case for
... In another example, researchers
studied the activity of individual brain cells whilst the trained
monkey indicated what it saw in an ambiguous image. ...
Monkey brain research: The case against
John Prescott's decision to grant planning permission for Cambridge
University's controversial primate laboratory is based entirely
on economic - not ...
TV specials featuring Monkey King to
be shown worldwide
A series of TV specials featuring the famous Chinese mythical
character Monkey King will be shown by China Central Television
Station on Channel 4 -- a TV ...
Man eats monkey as "experiment"
An unemployed actor from Santa Barbara has been charged with
'malicious injestion' following his admission that he swallowed
a monkey. ...
Monkey diet may have answers
Joanne Vizziello is searching for the fountain of youth, but
not in the way you might think. No face-lifts or Botox for her,
looking ...
A course in behavior and evolution, taught
by chimps
... From knowledge of chimp behavior,
biologists can plausibly infer the social behavior of the shared
human-chimp ancestor, and from that they can reconstruct the
...
Humankind's Closest Living Relatives
on Brink of Extinction
... Research indicates that the
western chimpanzee has already disappeared from three countries
-- Benin, the Gambia and Togo", said Samy Mankoto, a UNESCO
expert ...
Are humans hard-wired for war?
... But Frans de Waal, a primatologist
and professor of psychology at Emory University, points out that
a different species of chimpanzee, the bonobo, chooses love ...
ORANGU-BANG
TOURISTS are flocking to watch the latest sick craze orangutan
boxing. The usually gentle primates are dressed in shorts and
boxing ...
Orangutans get aromatherapy treatments
... That means the 20-year-old ape
Mias gets chamomile on his right ear, basil and angelica on his
nose, and fennel, eucalyptus and frankincense on his forehead.
...
Females are dominant sex, primate study
suggests
Feminists might be surprised to hear it, but females are the
dominant sex in most primate communities. Far from being passive
bystanders ...
Prof talks primate behavior at frat
By Dax Thomas. Last night the brothers of Phi Delta Theta and
their guests heard a lecture on the economics of monkey business.
The ...
