More tabloid storytelling
(& illustration)
at its finest!!!
 SPECK
OF SOMETHING EXPLODES, NEW CITY RESULTS!
"DEBRIS WAS
FALLING EVERYWHERE, BUT YO, IT TURNED OUT PRETTY GOOD."
SAYS ONE WITNESS!!
Scientists now trying to create
the ultimate spacecraft with this method instead of with tornadoes
due to lack of test pilots!!! - READ
MORE!!!!!
 MONKEY
TYPES 23RD PSALM!
CLAIMS HE WAS TRYING
TO SQUISH SPIDER RUNNING AROUND ON KEYBOARD!!
Scientists knew it would eventually
happen - but kick monkey out of university lab for illegal proselytizing!!!
- READ
MORE!!!!!
 ELEPHANT
MAN CLAIMS HE'S NOT AN ANIMAL!
LABELED A RELIGIOUS
ZEALOT IGNORANT OF BASIC SCIENCE!!
Insists that he is, "...(slurp)
a human being (slurp)." - READ
MORE!!!
 MISSING
LINK DISCOVERED - YET AGAIN!
DISCOVERER WAS PART-TIME
MAGICIAN WHO MADE HUMAN SKULLS (FOUND IN SAME GENERAL AREA) DISAPPEAR!!
This story should be sponsored
by Starbucks, purveyor of the finest coffee in the world, but
it's not!!!- READ
MORE!!!!
 MISSING
LINK DISC-
WAIT A MINUTE! THIS
IS BIGFOOT!!
This was supposed to be used
in next month's issue!!! - NEVER MIND!!!!
 CONTROVERSY:
MILLION$ SPENT PEERING INTO SPACE LOOKING FOR PATTERNS
GENERATED BY INTELLIGENT DESIGNERS!
MANY CLAIM ANY PATTERNS
FOUND RESEMBLING CODES CAN ONLY BE THE RESULT OF NATURAL CAUSES,
NOT PURPOSEFULLY CREATED BY INTELLIGENT BEINGS!!
Others say that some people
can't see the forest for the trees- READ
MORE!!!
 100
MILLION YEAR OLD HAMMER DISCOVERED!
ROCKS THE ESTABLISHED
SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY!! COULD IT HAVE BEEN LEFT BY CRICK'S "RNA
WORLD" ALIENS???
Might very well be used to
nail the lid on the coffin of a dying theory - READ
MORE!!!
 MYSTERY:
WHO IS CAINE'S WIFE?
NOBODY KNOWS WHO
SHE IS OR WHERE SHE CAME FROM!
Some speculate that she's
a close relative of his!! Could it be a gross, disgusting, revolting,
and socially unacceptable case of incest???- READ
MORE!!!
 MAN
PARTIALLY CHARGED WITH CANNIBALISM - FOR EATING A BANANA!
PROSECUTORS, WHO
WILL SEEK HALF THE NORMAL SENTENCE AS PUNISHMENT FOR HUMAN FEASTING,
SAY THEY HAVE ALL THE DNA EVIDENCE NEEDED FOR A CONVICTION!!!
Shocked neighbors say he was
quiet and mostly kept to himself. "It's the worst case of
bananamalism I ever seen," said one detective. "There
were peels everywhere!!!" (Suspect is presumed to be only
acting natural until proven guilty in the court of public opinion)
- READ
MORE!!!
 COMIC
TELLS JOKE SO FUNNY THAT NOBODY LAUGHS!
"HAD SOMETHING
TO DO WITH GOD AND A ROCK, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT," SAY
PATRONS WHO WANTED THEIR MONEY BACK!!
Apparant contradiction seems
to disprove that comedy exists!!! Comic starts to question his
own existence!!!!- REED
MOORE!!!!!
 MAN
LIVES WITH MONKEYS IN ZOO!
CLAIMS HE'S NOT HAPPY
AND DOESN'T BELONG THERE, BUT HE'S JUST A LOWER-EVOLVED ANIMAL
SO WHAT DOES HE KNOW ANYWAY?! BESIDES, HIGHER-EVOLVED PERSONS
ENJOY LOOKING AT HIM AND IT BRINGS IN THE BUCKS!!
Update: Monkey-man blows his
brains out!!! May or may not have been an accident - READ
MORE!!!!!
In Next Month's
Issue...
Big Foot: Did he only
have one big foot, or did he really have two?!
Pamela Anderson: Claims
to be the purposeful product of not just one designer but several...
Graphic Design: Though
sometimes graphic, is it really design???
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