Week 12
Hoss (cleverly): "Now Joe, if you wuz to withdraw ol' Blackie here
from the race, then me an' Adam might not feel obliged to tell Pa
WHERE you were, WHO you were with an' WHAT you were doin' last Saturday night."
Joe (queasily): "That's blackmail!"
Adam (astutely): "No, no Joe... that's our version of security."
Submitted by Hilary

	Current Competition		20 May 2006 Ben: I know you can get a tune out of anything Adam, but a poker may be a bit ambitious. Submitted by Sandra
			Week 16/06 "Isn't that interesting......the hair dye lasts three times longer on my eyebrows than it does on my head...!!!" Submitted by Elizabeth
	Week 15/06 "I don't know who did it! Why are you all looking at me like that?" Submitted by Rona		Week14/06 Candy thinking: Joe, you might be wearing your famous BG's but I am holding the ropes now! Submitted by Heidi
	Week 13/06 Ben: (Irritated)"OK... genius, brain-box, wonder-boy !... Show us how YOU would fold up this letter then...!! Submitted by Elizabeth		Week12/06 "Of course I'm driving, Pa," Adam said. "I want to get there in one piece." "I'd like to get there while I'm still young," Joe complained. Submitted by Rona
	Week 11/06 Ben (thinking): "Even after all these years, I still can't get over the size of those ears" Submitted by Elizabeth		Week 10/06 Hoss (thinking): "We Cartwright brothers share the household chores equally. I eat the food and Adam and Joe do the dishes." Submitted by Heidi
	Week 9/06 Adam: "How is it possible that my father can still send grown men to bed as a punishment?" Submitted by Hilary		Week 8/06 "This is where all the women put their hands first Jamie...then downwards...." Submitted by Joan
	Week 7/06 Ben : "Aaaah, the boys on a cattle drive, Hop Sing visiting his relatives - the Ponderosa all to myself! What shall I get up to this weekend?" Submitted by Hilary		Week 6/06 LJ: "Hoss always gets that goofy look on his face when he is in love!!!" Submitted by Jenny
	Week5/06 "I can't see a cigarette, Pa," Adam declared, shutting his eyes tightly so he wasn't looking at the incriminating evidence in his fingers. Submitted by Rona		Week 4/06 I better hide as good as possible as there comes widow Hawkins in her wedding dress. Submitted by Heidi
	Week 3/2006 No matter how clearly Ben explained it, Hoss simply could not get the hang of how to dance "The Gay Gordons". Submitted by Claire		Week 2/2006 "I said SIT!" Joe insisted, looking at the huge pile of elephant dung Hoss had just dug his way out of. Submitted by Rona
	Week 1/2006 The sudden,rather tragic end of Jamie. Joe was suitably shocked but recovered in time to go into Virginia City for a game of poker that evening. Submitted by Claire		Week 37 "Okay, which one of us is going to be Beyonce?" Submitted by Debbiejo
	Week 36 "Where is the tinsel for the woolly mammoth horns?" Joe asked. "I haven't got it." Submitted by Rona		Week 35 Hoss: "This bozo has wandered into the wrong Western...he looks like he should be in the High Chaparral". Submitted by Jenny
	Week 34 Adam: I've been dreaming, Pa. Pa: What did you dream son? Adam: I dreamt in years to come a good looking curly haired boy is going to give us a lot of trouble. Submitted by Sandra		Week 33 Joe: "Pa, you know it makes me crazy when you wear my gloves!" Submitted by Lillian
	Week 32 Adam: "Really Pa? Superglue...in the outhouse?...and Joe just went there...what a coincidence!" Hoss: "Aw, Pa you know we woudn't do a thing like that." Submitted by Hilary		Week 31 Joe: "I'm telling you Pa, everytime we end up in jail, there is always a whole bunch of suspicious looking women out there." Pa: "You're being paranoid Joe!" Joe: "Oh really? Well everytime I get injured there are always these two women that appear when I am recovering. One focuses on my feet while the other says something like. 'Oh.. don't you wear bandages well!" Submitted by Stephen.
	Week 30 Roy: "Tell me, Ben, where on earth did you get this packet of Naked Girl Cards? I seem to spend all day shufflin' them and playing solitaire..." Ben: "Oh, I have my sources !!" Thinking: under Joe's mattress!! Submitted by Elizabeth		Week 29 "Joseph, you bring out the devil in me !" Submitted by Debbiejo
	Week 28 Joe always insisted on dressing up as Frodo each Halloween. Submitted by Claire		Week 27 Joe (thinking): "Saturday afternoon...should be at the Silver Dollar...and I'm stuck here with these boring old farts !!!" Submitted by Elizabeth
	Week 26 "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine...and robs me blind and leaves me buck nekkid" Submitted by Blue Velvet		Week 25 I wish Hop Sing had asked me to take my clothes off before washing and putting them on the line. Submitted by Sandra
	Week 24 "Believe me...Pa will never find out about this." Submitted by Sneddy		Week 23 ADAM: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" PA: "To get to the other side" ADAM: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" PA: "To see how the other half lives" ADAM: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" PA: "Chicken" ADAM: "Knock, knock" PA: "Who's there?" ADAM: "Orange" PA: "Orange who?" ADAM: "Orange you gonna open the door and let me in?" ADAM: "Are we there yet?" PA: "Oh, shut up!" Submitted by BV
	Week 22 JOE: Who are you and what have you done with my brother? Submitted by Lillian		Week 21 "ADAM: " Hoss those new fancy black boots of yours look more fit for ladies!!!" Submitted by Jenny
	Week 20 Adam's impersonation of the love-song of the blue-nosed baboon was uncannily lifelike. Submitter by Claire		Week 19 Joe wondered what horrors awaited him this week at the hands of the fanfic writers. Submitted by Rona
	Week 18 "Little brother, this is the last time that I let you do the cooking..........I'll stick to mesquite beans." Submitted by Debbiejo		Week 17 "WHEW!!!!!! Which one of you boys needs to take a bath?" Submitted by Lori H
	Week 16 Adam: It just ain't natural for a Cartwright to have that much hair. I'm sure if I look close enough I'll see the join." Submitted by Claire		Week 15 Ben: "And you thought my hair looked bad." Submitted by Sneddy
	Week 14 "Do I happen to know the idiot that wrote this script?" Submitted by Hilary		Week 13 Joe: "Are you serious Hoss? Pa says he's getting married again? Doesn't he ever know when to stop?" Submitted by Joan
	Week 12 Hoss (cleverly): "Now Joe, if you wuz to withdraw ol' Blackie here from the race, then me an' Adam might not feel obliged to tell Pa WHERE you were, WHO you were with an' WHAT you were doin' last Saturday night." Joe (queasily): "That's blackmail!" Adam (astutely): "No, no Joe... that's our version of security." Submitted by Hilary		Week 11 "Now wait minute boys, what I said is final - only one of us gets to take off his shirt in this episode." Submitted by Sneddy
	Week 10 "What da ya mean they're closed? They can't be closed... I'm gonna starve if I don't get me some vittles soon!" Submitted by Joan		Week 9 Adam: "Now Sport, watch closely...this is how you neigh!!!" Submitted by Jenny
	Week 8 Joe: "I've never seen one that big before." Adam: "Yeah, it does kind of stick out." Ben: "Look son, it'll disappear in a few days." Submitted by Sneddy		Week 7 "Wait til Pernell finds out that I hid his toupee." Submitted by Debbiejo
	Week 6 Ben: "Hoss, whatever's coming out of that new well you just dug, it ISN'T water!!" Submitted by Hilary		Week 5 Hoss: "I swear that I just saw Adam in the barn." Joe: "Look Hoss - it's the later years and there's no such thing as Adam." Submitted by Sneddy
	Week 4 Pa: "I warned you what would happen to that girl if you gave her a blue dress, Hoss." Submitted by Helen		Week 3 "Paw, I can't believe you said that! Now I know what they mean by cussing like a sailor" Submitted by Blue Velvet
	Week 2 "Candy, call me old-fashioned but I'm not into this threesomes stuff — it's too weird!" Submitted by Hilary		Week 1 "Hoss! You've brought home some peculiar pets in your time - but I draw the line at this overgrown porcupine!" Submitted by Claire