* Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. * Dogs miss you when you're gone.
* Dogs feel guilt when they do something wrong.
* Dogs don't brag about who they have slept with.
* Dogs don't criticize your friends.
* Dogs admit when they're jealous.
* Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
* Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch
(and they never laugh at how you throw).
* Dogs are happy with any video you rent cause they like spending time with you.
* Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
* Dogs are trainable.
* Dogs are easy to buy for.
* Dogs are good with kids.
* Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
* You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
* Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
* The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
* Dogs understand what "no" means.
* Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
* Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
* Dogs understand if their friends cannot come inside.
* Dogs do not read at the table.
* Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
* You can house train a dog.
* You can force a dog to take a bath.
* Dogs don't correct your stories.
* Middle-aged dogs do not abandon you for a younger owner.
* Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
* Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
* Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
* Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
* Dogs admit it when they're lost.
* Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
* Dogs look at your eyes.
* Dogs like your size.
* Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
* Dogs take care of their own needs.
* Dogs are color blind.
* Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
* Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
* Dogs are nice to your relatives.
