In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save some time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space. Or Underground?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chain saw: Do no attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

HoneyHoney's Country Girl Hullaballo
http://www.oocities.org/bornhoney/