A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied,

"First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

" --- or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted.

" --- or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea...."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: " --- so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Surgeon's Choice

A group of surgeons are taking a coffee break.

1st surgeon says: "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says: "Naw, librarians are the best . . . everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says: "Try electricians. Everything inside THEM is color coded."

4th intercedes: "I like mechanics . . . they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."

To which the 5th surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, says:
"You're all wrong. Lawyers are the easiest. There's no guts, no heart, no spine and their head and butt are interchangeable."

HoneyHoney's Country Girl Hullaballo
http://www.oocities.org/bornhoney/