Senior Citizens

~~I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8 PM.
~~I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
~~I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going
~~I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without aspirin, antacid....
~~I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go
~~I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up
~~I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying
~~I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over
~~I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine
~~I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care
~~I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians....
~~I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired
~~I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place
~~I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg
~~I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....uh....
~~I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate
~~I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies
~~I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less
~~I'm going to reveal what goes on behind the green doors...
~~I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days
~~I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP..
~~I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
~~I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory
~~I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes and raisins
~~I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the storeroom
~~I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life
~~Do I have Alzheimer's? I don't remember. But, I'm happy, I think.