Here is the song of a wised-up guy called "The Man". It is very funny! Especially for you guys who *think* you know who wears the pants!Why are blonde jokes so short?
........ So men can remember them.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
What did God say after he made Adam?
"I can do better than this." ..... Then he made Eve.
How can you tell if a man is sexually active?
............ He's breathing!
If a man is talking in the woods and no woman hears him
.............. Is he still wrong?
Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years?
............. Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.
How do you save a man from drowning?
............ Take your foot off of his head.
Why don't men do laundry?
............ Cause the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
How are men like parking spaces?
The good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped.
How many men does it take to make popcorn?
Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
............No one knows, it has never happened
How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
............ Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)
What is the difference between government bonds and men?
Government bonds mature.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
............ Put the remote control between his toes
What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
............ Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
.............E.T. phoned home.
How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.
How do men exercise at the beach?
............ By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
............ A hot dog and a six-pack.
How are men like noodles?
.........They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
Dogs are a man's best friend
So which is the dumber sex???
Why do men like BMWs????
.........They can spell it!
What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common??
..........Men always miss them!
